Uncle Billy lost his willy

[ThreeLocusts]

Jingle bells, Batman smells/Robin flew away/uncle Billy lost his willy/on the motorway...
(sung to the tune of the Xmas song)

it's one of a handful of rude rhymes my children learned early on in primary school. This was in the Southeast in the 2010s, but a friend who grew up in Manchester in the 1970s said he knew this rhyme too.

I'd just like to get a sense of how widespread and how old it is. Has it been around since the first Batman TV series of the late 50s (I think)? And do you have other examples of disrespectful children's rhymes featuring pop cultural references? Or rude rhymes full stop? I find this one oddly joyful....

whyayepetal · Yesterday 17:57

We three kings of Leicester Square
Selling ladies’ underwear
Quite fantastic, no elastic
Not very safe to wear!

We had a slightly different version:

We three spivs of Leicester Square
Selling knickers for tuppence a pair
They're fantastic, no elastic
Why don't you buy a pair!

O' Star of Wonder, Star of Night
Sit on a box of dynamite,
Light the fuse then read the news,
That's the way to die of fright!

I haven't seen these mentioned yet:

Happy birthday to you,
I went to the loo
I looked in the water
And I thought I saw you.

Happy birthday to you
I went to the zoo
I saw a fat monkey
And it looked just like you!

Yum yum, bubblegum,
Stick it up a monkey's bum!

Definitely early 80s (SE England), possibly 70s too. We also used to sing 'My uncle Billy had a 10 foot willy and he showed it to the lady next door. She thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake and now it's only 2 foot 4!' - also around the same time. My friends and I used to delight in making up rude lyrics for songs. But we only had 3 (then 4) TV channels and no internet 🤣

A slightly more absurd version of the pheasant one, said with our fingers stretching our mouths to get the rude word.

I’m not a pheasant plucker,
I’m a pheasant pluckers son,
I like plucking pheasants,
Cos pheasant plucking’s fun.

Also:
Fatty and skinny went up in a rocket
fatty fell down with shit in his pocket

Manchester grew up in the 90s (born 89) and yes to both op :)

Ireland mid 80s:
Jingle bells, batman smells Robin flew away
Joker blew the mobile up and blamed the IRA...

Also Rosie and Jim having it off in a biscuit tin, Rosie said oowww Jim said argh and out popped a baby called Cantona!

I remember
Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away
because he was fed up with Batman stinking all day hey!

Early 80s SE

Yes, we were still singing this version in East Belfast in the 90s.

I know this one!! 80s in Manchester 😅

I work in childcare now and sometimes we sing nursery rhymes. I really struggle with Jack and Jill because it will be forever in my brain as:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jill forgot to take the pill
And now they have a daughter.

I avoid eeney meany miney mo for fear the awful version I knew as a kid would slip out.

@RedOnyx that was on the go in East Co. Cork in Ireland in the 80s!! A few words were different.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
I don’t know what they did up there
But now they’ve got a daughter.

Q: Ip dip dog shit what colour was it?
A: blue
B L U E and you are on.

Yes!

If you wanna buy a car buy a Jag. There's room in the back for a shag. There's a biscuit tin to keep your condoms in. If you wanna buy a car buy a Jag.

Lol.

Up above the streets and houses Bungle's flying high
Opens up his hairy arse and shits in Zippy's eye

Which I always felt slightly guilty about because Bungle was very gentle and I thought he would get upset if he heard it.

My 7 year old sings this. We’re in the south east.

Also, why did someone catch on and others fade to obscurity?

And, who came up with them in the first place?

It's like football chants or internet memes - nobody knows.

I only clicked a few years ago what we used to say when saying eeny meany! It got replaced with tigger at some point but I have an awful feeling we didn’t always say that.

Aw loved Rainbow!

@Desperatetomotivate haha id forgotten about the teenage pregnancy one, in my version there's another line that goes "my mother did a twirl, it was a baby girl"

I remeber singing this in infant school

Daisy daisy give me your tit to chew
I'm half crazy my bollocks are turning blue
I can afford a Jonny so a plastic bag will do
But you'll sweet
On my back seat
With me on top of you

That's just come back to me and it's so grim 😂