Exhausted but too scared of bed

[BedPhobia]

I'm having a one night stopover at a hotel on my way to visit friends.

I've been having quite extreme anxiety about bed bugs for years so I knew I'd struggle but it's actually so much worse.

I'm thinking of going to the station now and sleeping on a bench instead. I'm exhausted but can't bear to get into bed as I'm absolutely convinced it has bed bugs and/or scabies.

I carried out an inspection and found suspicious marks and am now petrified.

I don't think a sleepless night will do my anxiety any good but what can I do?

All my belongings are in the bathroom and I'm thinking of sleeping sitting on a stool and leaving my pyjamas behind.

But even that won't prevent me worrying for weeks that I've brought them home with me.

I'm in such a bad way 😥

To answer the questions about the marks - sometimes they look like hives, sometimes like red pimples. I have been looking for tracks and sometimes I think I can see them but nothing very conclusive.

Hey OP. I'm so sorry you're having so much difficulty with this. It sounds exhausting. I would recommend EMDR if you can access it. CBT can be helpful but IMO not quite as powerful as EMDR.

Thank you I didn't know there was a mental health option.

It sounds psychological, rather than a ''real'' infection?

The mind can produce hives, lumps, bumps and itching- look up ''Morgellans'' 'disease' where people believe they have fibres coming out of their skin.. except they don't.

It's a stress response.

It must be exhausting living this way, and very hard for your children, too.

Hope you can get emotional support, OP.

I think you’d be best to talk to your doctor about health anxiety on Monday

Absolutely. Don’t hesitate to use them, OP. Or you can call the Samaritans but they can only really offer a listening ear, not practical help. Non judgemental listening can sometimes be a help in itself though. www.england.nhs.uk/2024/08/nhs-111-offering-crisis-mental-health-support-for-the-first-time/

Do you want to share a photo? Honestly it really doesn't sound like scabies.

You don't have to keep struggling, try medication and therapy.

www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/mental-health-support/mental-health-services-at-nhs-24/

This is said in the kindest way, call your doctors in the morning and ask if the mental health nurse can call you asap.
I had a very similar experience but with a different pest. But with treatment I realised it was my body in overdrive and I was really unwell.

The cluster is on my lower back, the pimples on wrists seem to come and go

Sorry you had to go through this. Its6 really hard as sometimes I feel like my anxiety is totally out of control but then the next day I feel totally fine in myself and like a "normal" person so I just really can't distinguish now if anxiety can be clouding my judgment. Maybe it's always there in the background even when I don't think it is.

I can 100% assure you that you don't have scabies

I don’t think that looks anything like scabies. It DOES look like your skin is dry- probably because you’ve been scrubbing yourself / over washing. I get little red dots like that when I’ve used a soap that doesn’t agree with my skin and it’s drying out. Also the prickly feeling etc.

have you been over washing/ compulsively showering etc, OP?

Just found this one on my hand 😭

I have terrible anxiety too. I’ve worried about bed bugs in the past along with so many other things. It’s so tiring worrying all the time. You’re not alone.

These really do not look like bed bugs or marks left by bed bugs.
The advice on getting changed and putting clothes straight in to the wash when you get home -even though you won’t need to, should be reassuring.

Your dc love you just as you are, with a without anxiety.

OP you need to speak to a mental health professional, soon. I really hope you are okay.

What do you see in this picture OP honestly because I cannot see anything in it at all and in the others just a few spots less itching than I have (and I don’t have scabies or bed bugs)

your anxiety is fixated now and you need some urgent help

Thank you, I do wonder about this a lot.

The common denominator is definitely about letting my children down in some way.

The post natal anxiety was initially caused by having an emergency c section and feeling like a failure after a textbook pregnancy but that feeling was relatively short lived. It must be something deeper, but I am not sure what.

As someone who also has anxiety I can relate OP, but you do accept that the "scabies and bed bugs" are a non issue?

You said yourself, five years ago this was a non factor. What happened? You need counselling to unpack this.

Anxiety can cause itching and in turn marks appear. Your sole issue here is your irrational thinking and once you get on top of that you will be yourself again.

OP if ever there is a health problem then you don't have to agonise it will be obvious 99% of the time. You are torturing yourself and the chances of you having scabies is about nil. You are just fearful that's all. Oh you say but how can we prove it's NOT scabies - well because you haven't got any evidence of it haven't been in touch with it and it's not even common. Stop panicking.

There is nothing visible on your hand.

I have had scabies. Think one of the kids picked it up at school as a few families ended up with it. It looks nothing like that. Treated quickly and actually only me, then DH and the kid in question showed symptoms.

Imagine wetting your inner wrist, shaking sand over it and then shaking off the excess. Thats what it looks like. Lots and lots of tiny bumps. One day nothing, next day....I had wrists covered in them. I would bet my house that you dont have scabies.

I should add that I have had 6 kids through school, with 21 years between the eldest and the youngest and we had scabies ONCE. While it isnt considered unusual, it isnt particularly common either.

Op, I dont know if this will be helpful. Just wanted to say I have been getting the pinprick feeling and little skin bumps. With me I reckon it’s a type of mild eczema, like a localised heat rash almost, the weather has changed, the heating has gone on and made the air drier, I’m wearing socks and jumpers, which I haven’t for months. I know that my favourite wool scarf will make me itch unless it’s really really cold. I hate it but I’m sure that this is what is causing it for me - could it be the same thing for you?

Would you all really be OK staying in a room with these marks? Just wondering as I've completely lost sight of what's normal

Absolutely I would. I stay in different hotels for 3 nights a month and have done for 20 years. I've seen much worse than that.

If this is any help, remind yourself of two things:

1. They're not dangerous - they don't carry any deadly disease.
2. They can be gotten rid of.