Exhausted but too scared of bed

[BedPhobia]

I'm having a one night stopover at a hotel on my way to visit friends.

I've been having quite extreme anxiety about bed bugs for years so I knew I'd struggle but it's actually so much worse.

I'm thinking of going to the station now and sleeping on a bench instead. I'm exhausted but can't bear to get into bed as I'm absolutely convinced it has bed bugs and/or scabies.

I carried out an inspection and found suspicious marks and am now petrified.

I don't think a sleepless night will do my anxiety any good but what can I do?

All my belongings are in the bathroom and I'm thinking of sleeping sitting on a stool and leaving my pyjamas behind.

But even that won't prevent me worrying for weeks that I've brought them home with me.

I'm in such a bad way 😥

Op, what happened when you were young to make you so scared of bed bugs?

Thank you for your kind message. Do you mean your friend had the same anxiety symptoms, or skin symptoms, or both? What treatment did she have for the psychosis?

No idea, I've genuinely had a great childhood, no trauma whatsoever.

OP I really feel for you suffering this kind of anxiety. You are experiencing cognitive distortion , I've linked this page, which describes them, see if you can identity any of them. There are also ways to overcome them. Please have a read, I think it might really help you.
https://outofthefog.website/what-not-to-do-1/2015/12/13/stinkin-thinkin-the-ten-forms-of-twisted-thinking

I really feel for you OP. I have generalised anxiety and not as severe as you have and that’s bad enough. Reading through your posts it’s obvious how distressed you were/are, I’m wondering if it’s worth printing your posts on this thread and taking them to the GP with you so they can see the severity.
Try to focus on the big step you took staying away and on sleeping on the bed and the positives of what you did.
I really hope you’re feeling better soon

Even if you did have scabies it's not dangerous.

I caught scabies from a child in my class when I was a trainee teacher. Its incredibly easy to treat and ,once treated, they are gone. I had to wash clothes and bedding on a 40° wash. For your own body you simply buy a cream called Lorexane from the chemist. You have a hot bath then cover yourself in the cream from the neck down.Thats it. They're gone.

Thank you. I've just been reading too much about it and unfortunately they have somewhat developed a resistance to treatment so nowadays it isn't so easy to get rid of.
I would also feel so bad putting DC through the treatment, and what if their friends don't want to play with them anymore if they hear about it? It will have all been my fault.
I was trying to rationalise but just found a new mark on my hand and the itch all over is starting again. It's looking really unlikely I don't have scabies :(

there is a scabies out break at the moment, but go to the chemist & get some lotion to paint on or whatever treatment they do now

Thank you I can definitely identify with a few. I might go through the advice and write things down methodically to calm myself down.

Blinking heck, got me scratching now- just get it confirmed ( usually track marks on the wrist & hands) wash clothes & bedding on a hight heat

Are you aware that extreme anxiety can cause a rash on the body a hive like rash and that the body can produce an histamine response to the anxiety. The fact you are now worrying and have just developed another itchy mark on your hand may be a sign that this is what it is. Do the itchy marks tend to appear when you are really anxious they certainly did the night you stayed at the hotel.

You have also been back from the hotel quite a while now, if it was scabies the chances are your whole family would now be covered in itchy spots. Is it just happening to you or do others have symptoms?

Nothing infectious looking there. The media have a lot to answer for. There are no bugs in the bed.

It takes 3 to 8 weeks for symptoms to appear so it makes sense for mine to be ramping up about now and family wouldn't show symptoms yet :(

OP get a double appt for Monday. First get the itching looked at (it won’t be scabies) and then chat about your anxiety, please.
We are all rooting for you, please pop back and update us.
If you can’t wait until Monday get a pharmacist to take a look. I would imagine it might be be a bit of eczema from all the washing etc? Sending love ❤️

We've had occasional patients with scabies it's not that common / never caught it. Stop overthinking it you are not going to catch anything. Go to sleep.

OP, bless you, you are catastrophising. I know how real all this must seem and how upsetting it is, but you almost certainly don’t have scabies. Even if you do, it’s not going to be a disaster for you or your kids. It does sound like you have quite debilitating anxiety at the moment, though. The good news is that’s very treatable. If you are struggling between now and Monday’s appointment you can call 111 and use the mental health option, they are often very helpful. Hang in there and be honest with your GP about how much this is affecting you.

Scabies is pretty common and easy to treat. Could be caught at school etc.
I'm not sure you can catch it from clean sheets...

The only reason you have convinced yourself you have somehow , without having had contact with an infected person, caught scabies is because your are worried about it and it's one of the worst things you can think of to scare yourself - don't think about it anymore.
Believe me, I'm a Dr you haven't got it. Stop panicking have a nice bath and go to sleep.

I really think it may be anxiety as Apollo365 says make an appointment on Monday with the GP and discuss everything. You came back from the hotel with itchy spots after an extremely anxious night so the chances are they weren’t bed bugs if they take 3-6 weeks to come out. Talking it over with a professional will help ease your anxiety and help you plan/cope better in the future. I highly doubt it is scabies, do you see a silvery track lines with a black dot? Also have you tried to take an antihistamine to see if this helps somewhat, whilst you await an appointment with the GP. I also believe the pharmacist should be able to tell you tomorrow if they do or don’t look like scabies marks.

You can see bedbugs, they're quite big really and if you inspected the mattress you would have seen them.

What do the itchy marks look like? Scabies leave little burrows that you can see. Anxiety can cause rashes and itching which will make you more anxious which makes the rash worse until you're stuck in a loop

I'm worried that it takes weeks before scabies becomes obvious enough so noone will be able to give me a definite answer for a while yet unfortunately.

But I never have skin issues so the fact I have spots and a burning feeling on my back and these pinpricky stings everywhere that is typical of scabies just isnt right :(

I get what you say about the anxiety though. Unbelievably since my last post I had to travel again and had no issues at all when I was there, no anxiety despite being in a hotel. So I felt like I maybe was OK after all and didn't try to seek help for that.

Which is also why I don't believe my symptoms are just anxiety and it must be scabies.

I probably have both, lucky me.

OP i wonder if any of the therapy you had has ever tried to get to the bottom of what it is that you're really afraid of. Your anxiety has latched itself onto bedbugs/scabies but it's not really about that is it? I notice in your replies you said twice that what you're really afraid of is passing bedbugs/scabies on to your kids and then them becoming recluses/not being able to do things and you will have failed them. I also noticed that you said that you developed this fear after having postnatal anxiety after you had your DC.

So it seems like really your actual fear is around letting your DCs down/failing them/somehow causing them harm, and/or around them being rejected socially. Are you able to reflect on why you think you might have such a fear of this? Did anything happen during pregnancy or birth that made you feel like you weren't protecting them or like you had let them down? Or did something happen to you when you were a child that meant you felt let down/not protected or did you feel socially rejected?

When you start exploring these things they can take some time to work through but I do find that when you start to acknowledge what the real underlying fear/anxiety is about, that it takes some of the power away from the thing that your anxiety has latched onto (the bedbugs/scabies).

@BedPhobia I'm betting you don't have scabies.

The mind can play really powerful tricks, have you heard of ''Delusional parasitosis''?

People believe that they have parasites, when they don't.

Here: www.mayoclinic.org/delusional-parasitosis/art-20044996