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Original poster

Exhausted but too scared of bed

260 replies

BedPhobia · 30/09/2024 22:44

I'm having a one night stopover at a hotel on my way to visit friends.

I've been having quite extreme anxiety about bed bugs for years so I knew I'd struggle but it's actually so much worse.

I'm thinking of going to the station now and sleeping on a bench instead. I'm exhausted but can't bear to get into bed as I'm absolutely convinced it has bed bugs and/or scabies.

I carried out an inspection and found suspicious marks and am now petrified.

I don't think a sleepless night will do my anxiety any good but what can I do?

All my belongings are in the bathroom and I'm thinking of sleeping sitting on a stool and leaving my pyjamas behind.

But even that won't prevent me worrying for weeks that I've brought them home with me.

I'm in such a bad way 😥

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Swollenandgrouchy · 30/09/2024 23:24

You wouldn’t be failing anyone op. Turn your brain off and let yourself drift off thinking about something nice / listening to a podcast. Recommend Parenting Hell - very funny.

Original poster
BedPhobia · 30/09/2024 23:25

cariadlet · 30/09/2024 23:18

That level of anxiety must be exhausting.

The hotel is the safest place to spend the night. Far safer then on a bench.

Don't ask to change rooms - you're just as likely to find marks in the other bed that you will be convince are bed bugs.

If you can't bring yourself to sleep in the bed, sleep on the floor. If you are worried about the bedding, use towels to lie on and put your coat over you.

You won't get a full night's sleep, will wake up a few times in the night and will feel stiff in the morning (speaking from experience having slept on my classroom floor when supervising a school sleepover) but you should get enough sleep to be able to function tomorrow.

"That level of anxiety must be exhausting"

It very much is. I don't think I've fully been able to enjoy my life for 3 years or so 😥

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 30/09/2024 23:25

I'm failing my kids if I bring bed bugs home and I fail them if I let anxiety rule my life. I can't win.

Well only one of those things is happening - the latter. There aren't any bedbugs and I think you know it. This is all the anxiety. Leave your kids out of the equation, stop focusing on the phantom bedbugs and imagined fecal BS, and do things that will help. You have strategies for this. Use them. And get booked in for more help for your anxiety tomorrow. GP, meds. Therapy. The works.

Original poster
BedPhobia · 30/09/2024 23:28

Swollenandgrouchy · 30/09/2024 23:24

You wouldn’t be failing anyone op. Turn your brain off and let yourself drift off thinking about something nice / listening to a podcast. Recommend Parenting Hell - very funny.

I love Parenting hell. I would typically listen to a podcast to fall asleep but am too worried to have electronics near the bed in case bugs get in them.

I'm sorry I know I must be extremely frustrating to anyone trying to help

OP posts:
Supersimkin7 · 30/09/2024 23:29

Those marks are liquid, not bed bugs.

Els1e · 30/09/2024 23:31

I would hate this situation too. Can you get towels to lie on?

pinkdelight · 30/09/2024 23:34

I love Parenting hell. I would typically listen to a podcast to fall asleep but am too worried to have electronics near the bed in case bugs get in them.

Then listen to a podcast as that's what typically helps and there is no issue with electronics and (non existent) bed bugs. Night night love. Hope you get some sleep, really. You'll be okay. So will your DC. The human race is brilliantly resilient. Flowers

marmiteisnttheonlyspread · 30/09/2024 23:34

Probably too late for tonight but for future stays….

  1. take some fly spray. Strip the bed and give it a good spray. Go out for tea, when you come back open the windows to air the room.
  2. take a sheet sleeping bag - or maybe a full sleeping bag.

all the best.

Notimeforaname · 30/09/2024 23:36

Op I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Do you really think the anxiety will disappear tomorrow when you're at your friends house or will you be the same there ?

Would it not be better to go home as soon as you can? Hope you get some help with this. X

sandyhappypeople · 30/09/2024 23:37

Why not take a sleeping bag with you?

PennyApril54 · 30/09/2024 23:37

It's okay. Take a few deep breaths. You are safe in the hotel. Everything is fine in the room. There are no bed bugs. If you havent got them on already put your PJs on and go to bed. In the morning it is safe to leave with your belongings, there's nothing to worry about.

Original poster
BedPhobia · 30/09/2024 23:39

If I took a sleeping bag I would need to leave it behind.

My biggest fear is bringing them home, far worse than getting bitten.

So I could lay on towels and abandon my pyjamas but I'm also worried that when I was checking the bed all the bedding fell on the dirty carpet so it's now also contaminated, could be scabies or anything.

OP posts:
Carrotsandgrapes · 30/09/2024 23:39

Oh gosh, I feel for you, I've had similar fears before and am always anxious after I get back from a trip. It's something I've had to work to keep under control so it doesn't affect work trips or holidays. I've been to lots of hotels over the years (some fairly dodgy!) and have never had a problem. That said, I don't think your pics look like BBs.

Sleep in the bath if you can't face the bed. In one night, bed bugs cannot migrate from the bed to the bathroom, so you'll be fine. They're also not fan of bathroomy surfaces like tiles, plastic etc.

That's a solution for tonight. But when you get home, you must get some help for your anxiety. Between the remote possibility of getting bedbugs and the real, current situation of having a mum who's too anxious to go on holiday or away for the night, I know which is probably harder for your children.

PennyApril54 · 30/09/2024 23:39

pinkdelight · 30/09/2024 23:34

I love Parenting hell. I would typically listen to a podcast to fall asleep but am too worried to have electronics near the bed in case bugs get in them.

Then listen to a podcast as that's what typically helps and there is no issue with electronics and (non existent) bed bugs. Night night love. Hope you get some sleep, really. You'll be okay. So will your DC. The human race is brilliantly resilient. Flowers

A podcast is a great idea. There are no bugs to get in them . Put one on when you're in bed .I hope you sleep well. Goodnight

RogueFemale · 30/09/2024 23:39

BedPhobia · 30/09/2024 22:48

These are the marks

These are not bedbug marks.

Notimeforaname · 30/09/2024 23:40

There's always an extra blanket and pillow in the wardrobe.

Take them and put them over the bed or on the floor. Use towels too.
Put a podcast or video on or keep talking on here.

Original poster
BedPhobia · 30/09/2024 23:40

Notimeforaname · 30/09/2024 23:36

Op I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Do you really think the anxiety will disappear tomorrow when you're at your friends house or will you be the same there ?

Would it not be better to go home as soon as you can? Hope you get some help with this. X

I will have another layer of worry about giving them to my friends, so yes, possibly best to go straight home 😪

OP posts:
PadstowGirl · 30/09/2024 23:40

I have exactly the same anxiety OP. In fact I have a giant freezer in the garage that I put all our luggage into when we return from holiday.
I know what you mean about faecal spots but (I've researched this!) all hotel chains fumigate rooms routinely so even if they were BB marks, they would likely be from months or even years ago.
I always put our luggage in the bath, then spread towels between me and the bottom sheet.

I stay in hotels every month, my 3 DC are away staying in student houses all the time. The only time I've ever been bitten was in a youth hostel in NY and that room was clearly not clean.

I think you'll be fine.

Howdidtheydothat · 30/09/2024 23:41

OP, if you need to stay awake in chair rather than torture yourself trying to sleep tonight , so be it. After tonight you should refer yourself for more help.
The marks on your pictures look like stains (mould, oil, shoe polish etc). Even if it was bedbug stains, try to rationalise…they won’t kill you or your family but you are allowing this to risk your mental health and negatively affect your relationship with your family and ability to be enjoy being a mum, wife, daughter etc
I suspect you will find similar stains and marks in many hotel rooms.

Twistybranch · 30/09/2024 23:41

BedPhobia · 30/09/2024 23:39

If I took a sleeping bag I would need to leave it behind.

My biggest fear is bringing them home, far worse than getting bitten.

So I could lay on towels and abandon my pyjamas but I'm also worried that when I was checking the bed all the bedding fell on the dirty carpet so it's now also contaminated, could be scabies or anything.

So what happens if you get bitten?

What do you think will happen after that? You treat a bite. The fear of the bite is worse than the bite itself.

Notimeforaname · 30/09/2024 23:43

I will have another layer of worry about giving them to my friends, so yes, possibly best to go straight home

Ah I'm sorry op. Is your friend aware that you are struggling with this?

If there is no way you can settle away from home, please do go home as soon as you are able....please don't leave yourself in a heightened state of stress when it's not necessary x

Original poster
BedPhobia · 30/09/2024 23:43

Carrotsandgrapes · 30/09/2024 23:39

Oh gosh, I feel for you, I've had similar fears before and am always anxious after I get back from a trip. It's something I've had to work to keep under control so it doesn't affect work trips or holidays. I've been to lots of hotels over the years (some fairly dodgy!) and have never had a problem. That said, I don't think your pics look like BBs.

Sleep in the bath if you can't face the bed. In one night, bed bugs cannot migrate from the bed to the bathroom, so you'll be fine. They're also not fan of bathroomy surfaces like tiles, plastic etc.

That's a solution for tonight. But when you get home, you must get some help for your anxiety. Between the remote possibility of getting bedbugs and the real, current situation of having a mum who's too anxious to go on holiday or away for the night, I know which is probably harder for your children.

What has helped you keep it under control? I think I need to dedicate some serious time and energy into doing something about this

OP posts:
Howdidtheydothat · 30/09/2024 23:45

Chuck all your clothes and bags on a hot wash when you get home to give further peace of mind. Bedbug infestations are annoying to deal with but not life threatening. Now that temperatures have dropped, there will be very few live bedbugs around.

Original poster
BedPhobia · 30/09/2024 23:46

PadstowGirl · 30/09/2024 23:40

I have exactly the same anxiety OP. In fact I have a giant freezer in the garage that I put all our luggage into when we return from holiday.
I know what you mean about faecal spots but (I've researched this!) all hotel chains fumigate rooms routinely so even if they were BB marks, they would likely be from months or even years ago.
I always put our luggage in the bath, then spread towels between me and the bottom sheet.

I stay in hotels every month, my 3 DC are away staying in student houses all the time. The only time I've ever been bitten was in a youth hostel in NY and that room was clearly not clean.

I think you'll be fine.

Yes I'm planning to put everything in the freezer in the garage as I always do when I get home.

But I'm travelling again next week so will only be able to leave stuff in there for 5 days which I worry won't be enough. DH also won't be home to let me in through the garage so I'll have to get through the house to get there and can imagine bed bugs falling off me as I do 😭

OP posts:
Original poster
BedPhobia · 30/09/2024 23:51

I am so tried. Usually anxiety reaches a peak and then I'm too tired to keep it up so it eases. Hopefully this happens soon.

I've looked at the marks and everywhere again and I think it might be OK. I might put the TV on and lay down and try to sleep.

Still worried about scabies in the dirty carpet now being on the bed though, is this possible at all?

OP posts:
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