Sad our church turned its back on dd

[TeenLifeMum]

Dd has been to church all her life. At one point we moved to a different church that suited us more but we made lovely friends etc and dd was attending youth group until she was 15. Suddenly she was less keen but focusing on GCSEs so we didn’t push it. With clubs etc for the other dc, regular attendance dropped a bit but we were fairly relaxed.

I believe in god but have always had issues with “the church”, but put that aside to be with people of faith.

I recently learned why dd stopped going to youth - they did a full session on how they should pray for gay people in the hope of healing them. How they are so angry about people loving each other is beyond me.

dd is gay. Her girlfriend is loving, kind, polite, and caring. I want all my dc to have loving healthy relationships so have no issue and naively thought others wouldn’t care. Turns out they do. Two of her closest friends stepped away due to her being gay (parents we’d met through church) and now she understandably doesn’t want to go to church, and neither do I.

I’m angry. I hope they’re really proud of themselves from their high horses. On the off chance they’re on here - no, you’re not good Christians.

Thanks for humouring my rant.

Nopey nope!

@TeenLifeMum I'm so sorry you are going through this, we are also CofE and we have been chucked out of two due to my DS not fitting in (in the first one, both DCs were actually small and behaving like, well, small children, in the second one DS who has SEN had become much more obviously different but our agreement to try him with a 1:1 in Sunday School was apparently null and void when the Sunday School teacher decided she didn't want to bother with "all that nonsense" over adapting things for children with SEN).

The first church had a prominent CofE leader who was civilly partnered with his OH but not married. He was involved in writing the (highly dodgy in my lay theological opinion) "second baptism" rites for trans people who apparently represent the only group who need to be baptised twice! And men can marry other men in the CofE but only if one of them has a GRC.

So even among the "traditional liturgy/supposedly liberal socially" brigade there's a lot of homophobia, I'm afraid.
We now go to a small trad church on a council estate where everyone is very relaxed about the DCs but DS has started to go to a more evangelical youth group. I shall have to monitor what they are being told...

My C of E church welcomes EVERYONE of EVERY sexuality. It’s made clear on our website, in our building - and in practice.

I am furious on your daughter’s behalf and appalled at the attitude of the people in that particular church. That’s not Christianity, that’s human prejudice, pure and simple.

Tell your daughter to give up on that church, but not her faith, and find somewhere where she is welcomed.

Not mainstream Christianity.
They are quasi-Christian cults imho.

Me too 😆

Doesn't surprise me at all. PILs are catholic, when SIL came out to them FIL asked her what the impact was on her relationship with God. They did come round and love her partner now but SIL doesn't go to church.

Agreed.

Good spot Top Chef.
Fuck do people really have nothing better to do than waste our time with troll posts

Literally don’t get me started on churches and their moral values. It makes my blood boil how a group of people who consistently claim to be inclusive, forgiving, welcoming and faithful have such bigoted attitudes and views thinly veiled by ‘religious beliefs’. I’ve experienced some of the worst discrimination, judgement and ill treatment in my life from so-called Christians. My crime? I was a divorcee and then an unmarried mother. Pffffft turn the other cheek my ass.

The bible does say a man should not lay with another man - they didn't know the word gay and didn't speak English either. Aramaic was Jesus' language.

It's really hard to work out which churches are conservative on LGBTQI issues and women in leadership. It is not made clear on the websites. It would be really easy to go to a church with great youth work and music etc and not realise that women cannot lead and anyone who is gay must be celibate. This is why I said that as a general rule churches that are evangelical are conservative and churches that are evangelical often have praise bands. There is a group in the C if E called Accepting Evangelicals as bot all evangelicals are conservative.

Great praise band and a big church is usually conservative theology and sexuality.

This is the churches loss and they should be absolutely ashamed of themselves, no wonder congregations are so low nowadays.
There is no place in society for this attitude, i just can't get my head around how any respectful loving supportive relationship can be treated with such intolerance.
The rage i would feel if this were my kid would force me to give those ignorant bigots one great big piece of my mind directly.
I hope your family finds a happy church that accepts everybody no matter what .

Yes but please remember the words of St Paul; “and the greatest of these is love” and that the majority of Catholics in the West such as myself don’t actually agree with the Catholic church’s stance on homosexuality is correct. And we make up the same percentage of the congregation, if not more, than the reactionary types!

I honestly don’t think God cares who loves who, as long as the love is sincere. And the Catholic Church is made up of humans who fail and get things wrong.

The Catholic Church is also about fifty years behind its congregation and many of us are struggling to hang in there and only do so because of social justice issues.

And by the way, if you read the actual Papal encyclicals before they have been translated in to Latin, then Italian, their language is much softer and more loving and conciliatory towards gay people than the rhetoric that is broadcast from a local priest’s lectern at Mass on Sunday.

I’m really sorry that your dd has experienced this prejudice op. It’s unforgivable. People’s response nowadays to a complex world is fear, and that leads them to seek comfort in black and white simplistic views which divide and separate us from one another, and I believe that is the exact opposite of God’s message.

Why does this surprise you? There are films based on true stories of parents turning back on kids because the priest told them or preacher told them to try abd get them to go to a camp where they stop them being gay.
What do you think most if these churches preach?
Yes there are lgbt friendly ones that I know but have you seen pride marches when these hard-core religious nuts tell these kids they are going to hell
However seriously how did you not know what they preached as a kid I went to jw meetings and I knew what they thought it was very clear
However your kid has a great parent I am 44 I do not speak to my parents not because I am lesbian etc but because my mum put her religion before us judgemental and destroyed our family so I am very bitter to religion.

Sadly this doesn’t surprise me. Some of the most awful people I’ve known thought they were ultra-perfect because they were church goers. Parents would not have wanted to hear the cruel things they said about their children.
Your daughter’s happiness is far more important and as long as she’s happy with her girlfriend tell them to go and have fun. Life’s too short to waste on these people.

OP I am sorry to hear what happened to your daughter. Hope you can drown out the unhelpful comments on this thread.
I know how important church can be for a sense of community and a connection with something bigger. And when teens are involved it can be such a force for good. But this is just beyond the pale. And sadly unsurprising. You sound like a great mum and your daughter is watching you prioritise her over the church, which so many LGBTQ youth do not get to experience.

Thing is though in leviticus it also says don't eat shellfish or mix cloth like cotton and wool etc yet plenty do they just homophobic

Not this again! Please educate yourself.

I have educated myself i and saying it says you can't do the other stuff you yet folks do but concentrate on the gay stuff trust me I read the bible since a fucking kid

You must have missed all the parts about sexual immorality in the New Testament then.

“But even mainstream Christian churches tend to believe marriage is only between a man and a woman and any romantic/sex rship outside of that is a sin, whether gay or hetero.”

This is mainstream, settled teaching within Christianity, confirmed by the Lord Jesus in scripture.

Marriage is between one man & one woman.

Sex is a gift to be enjoyed only within marriage.

.

Yes they also say don't eat shell fish and don't consume pork etc so you know it's utter rubbish