Culture and Cycle of conditioning.
Growing up in England from a non-English, religious background, I've seen some unhealthy trends in how girls are raised in both cultures. In the West girls are encouraged to embrace a so called "freedom" which often means casual sex with little regard for their own feelings, safety or chastity.
You see women dressing revealingly and drinking with random men on nights out. Divorce parties, acting like abortion is equivalent to having a tooth filled, competition with men to do what they do. Reality TV shows that teen girls are hooked on where people date and kiss multiple different people and even have sex in dimly lit rooms on screen, and judge women fiercely on their looks alone. Depicting chastity as outmoded or even harmful. Multiple partners, slapping kinks, "sex work".
So why are girls today pretending they like this? Teen girls are conformist. They keep each other in check. They make sure everyone is toeing the line and push each other to follow trends even if they don't like them, so if rough sex is 'normal', they will insist on it even if it doesn't sit well with them. If having sex without commitment is 'normal' they will pursue it then hide their true feelings in tittok reposts. Its all very confusing for girls.
"I just don’t get it! I had the casual sex and abortion he asked for, so why am I feeling severely depressed about it? And why isn't he opening my snaps? Isn't this what I'm supposed to do?" They want to please the boys they like, they want to be deeply desired, and they think that's what it means. They confuse sexual desire even sexual roughness with love.
I suspect an aspect of the rough sex kink reflects a longstanding desire women have across time and place for a dominant partner. Boys aren't entirely to blame here. Girls will often taunt boys for being effete if they refuse to be dominant with them. They make tittok posts about wanting a possessive BF.
There’s a bizarre clash of messages being sent: boys, please slap me; and boys, you’re an evil dictator if you disapprove of my revealing outfits. Girls, give me a bj and don’t expect a text back the next day; yet, girls, you all act like sluts, I want a "trad" girl from a different culture.
Girls like to imagine themselves as the prized possession of a fierce, envious, yet valiant Knight. Fine. Boys envision a hot virgin who melts in a puddle at their feet and serves them sexually. We can all dream. These dreams represent extremes of our desires: seeking security and safety from men and purity from women. But the reality is that culture determines which how these yearnings are fulfilled or dealt with, and right now, girls are bearing the more heavy cost.
"I just don’t get it! I did everything I was supposed to do, so why isn’t he into me?" playing nice, being agreeable, following all the 'rules', conforming to the culture. Only to end up broken and lost because the culture is there for male and corporate pleasure and the illusion of our liberation. Men love easy access to quick sex via dating apps. They love not having to earn intimacy. They love being given access to your body, while you shout, "empowerment!" They love that if you get pregnant from their no-condom preference, you'll have the abortion they request so they remain unburdened. And you'll declare you're fine with that because it's your right. But they also resent it. They resent that women are not chaste anymore. Again more confusion and mixed messages. Men in the West pretend that they like the idea of marrying a woman who has slept with the town, if they don't they know they will be labeled misogynist. They may even be cancelled. Likewise they have to suppress being uncomfortable with their girlfriend going out wearing shorts up the bum because asking her to change would make him sexist and controlling.
One more thing I want to say. Honestly, I just really love England and its people and want the best, but the truth is men from other cultures see Western girls as easy and you should know this. Especially with multiculturalism. I remember at school English girls coming back from Turkey talking about how much attention they got from Turkish guys. They thought it was because they were super attractive and irresistibly beautiful, but the truth is, some men view Western women as just something fun to experience. Recreational. In part of curse because of abhorrent sexism but also because Western culture says girls are always 'up for it', while girls from their own culture are seen as 'wife material.' It's tough to convince non-Western men—who've watched Love Island, seen drunk Western girls kiss strangers in bikinis, consumed our magazines and music glorifying OnlyFans and porn—that Western girls aren't easy, that they have boundaries and self-respect. That they are protected against men like them. If you take the doors off a beautiful house, it becomes a playground, not a sanctuary; open to all but cherished by none.
Finding a cultural balance that satisfies everyone is tough, maybe even impossible. But clearly girls today are not happy with this particular flavour of freedom, and those that say that are are faking it.
But here's the thing. Bringing back kink shaming opens the door to slut shaming too. I for one am skeptical that the English are ready for that shift, yet.