Like a challenge? Help me find a hobby where I can make friends..BUT…

[Sidebeforeself]

….I am an introvert! Im also a bit picky about interests so I’d appreciate any ideas people might have.

Context: I’d like one ( more would be even better!) friend that I could meet up with for a coffee etc . I do have friends but they all live quite far away and everything has to be arranged weeks in advance. I think the best way to meet people would be through developing a hobby, but Ive never been hobby -minded. My “ issues “ are

I don’t like sports of any kind ( already go to a gym )
Naturally drawn to stuff you can do on your own - reading, baking, puzzles etc
Dont fancy a book club
Not a crafter.
Not a walker .
Looked up the local WI but their programme was dire - talks about bridges etc just don’t interest me
Stepkids are grown so no friendships through them
Dont want to do any more study .
Not religious
Not into singing

Now I know that that is a long list of negatives and I sound a right misery guts , but I promise you Im not. I just wanted to be upfront rather that saying no to everything people suggest. I would happily do some volunteering but its the same issue - what exactly?

Any thoughts gratefully accepted ( including being told to just try something !)

Board game cafes sometimes have nights on for people to go to

I know you said you don't like sports, (but you do go to the gym...) but have you thought about mountain biking? There are some amazing communities out there, you can go as little or often as you like, ride out in the trees and at trail centres, alone or with others. No one is fussed about your personal circumstances unless you do happen to meet your people, you don't have to talk to them if you don't want to, just ride bikes and have fun!

@ramron .A possibility although I’d feel a bit odd going on my own . DH would be “ we can just play a board game at home?”

I know you said you aren't crafty but what about flower arranging? It's also quite a solo activity so you can work alone and chat you others whilst you do it?

There seems to be a growth in ukulele groups.

1. You can remain fairly anonymous in a group.
2. Ukuleles are relatively cheap to buy.
3. Ukuleles are relatively easy to play.
4. There's loads of instruction on the net. You can practice on your own.

@Proseccoh thanks but its a hard no to mountain biking .I go to a gym to do very gentle exercises with a PT..no longer a gym bunny Im afraid

I should have also said I tried Meet-up once but that was a disaster and a whole other thread…

Is there a ladies circle near you, it's a women social group they have separate groups for different ages and also do things together. Is focussed on activitys theatre, coffee , poetry nights rather than sports. Also, if over a certain age could join the ladies in purple frocks and red hats, they always look like they are having the best time.

Litter picking? (Google litter picking yourtown ) - assuming you can walk, just not into it for fun.

Another I know you said ….
But I’ve made some nice friends through a sewing class. And bonus I’ve made some pyjamas and cushion covers.

@itsgettingweird That’s quite a good idea actually as I do love fresh flowers in the house!
@Paisleydad That amused me! Thanks for the suggestion - not one that ever crossed my mind!

I think it sounds like volunteering something like a charity shop would give you the chance to have co-workers who could become friends. It sounds like you do make friends but not quickly and something like volunteering gives a chance for friendships to develop over time with co workers.

How old are you? U3A?

Look on eventbrite for free events near you, go to random things that seem interesting, look out for people doing the same?

Green gym, ie conservation work, helping to look after some land for wildlife or volunteer Gardner for national trust. Again you’re working alongside people so gradually get to know them.

@Singleandproud Never heard of them so I’ll look it up - thanks!
@Cyclingforcake I was thinking about learning to knit so that might be an option ( I know you can You Tube it but I think you need to be with a tutor)
@mediawatching Gosh sorry, I can walk , just meant im not a rambler etc. Funnily enough I saw a sign for that today in a local beauty spot.

You might be far too young but you've said step kids have left home. My mum loves her local group of this. Lots of different things happen
www.u3a.org.uk/

Language class?

Same group of people for a long period of time (if you keep it up) and lots of them will be there because they're a fan of the culture of whatever country's language so will be sociable for coffee or meals out.

Seconded!

And through U3A my very unsporting, not posh mum discovered... croquet. And loves it. She has a core group of women who play together. None of them take it especially seriously, as in they don't compete with anyone else and it is just for fun. But she has made a lovely group of friends.

I was thinking a language leisure class where it's just conversational skills rather than proper study for exams etc.

Golf is very sociable at the right club. You have to ignore the 'please put your name down for putting up the Xmas decs, cleaning out the kitchen cupboards' etc., which only ever appear in the ladies section. It can be like stepping back into the '50s but I just leave all that alone and just go for a game of golf.

Language class is a good shout ( I was useless at school so definitely need a teacher rather than an app)

I volunteer at a local nature reserve and am getting to know people that way, they are mostly I’d say 50 to 70 and late career/ early retired. Many nature reserves and similar open spaces have volunteer groups like this. The work is not particularly strenous but very worthwhile. I really enjoy it.

Volunteer guide at local Stately Home/Site of Interest?

Bowls? I've recently joined and I can honestly say they are the friendliest group I have ever come across. I am totally amazed. They have loads of socials, from quizzes to bingo, and no, you don't have to be old, the club I belong to has all ages, from early teens to 90s.

At this time of year, you start seeing wreath-making courses and winter floristry popping up. It's a nice way to try something new out. It's short-term, but you often meet like-minded people who will put you in touch with other groups too.