Like a challenge? Help me find a hobby where I can make friends..BUT…

[Sidebeforeself]

….I am an introvert! Im also a bit picky about interests so I’d appreciate any ideas people might have.

Context: I’d like one ( more would be even better!) friend that I could meet up with for a coffee etc . I do have friends but they all live quite far away and everything has to be arranged weeks in advance. I think the best way to meet people would be through developing a hobby, but Ive never been hobby -minded. My “ issues “ are

I don’t like sports of any kind ( already go to a gym )
Naturally drawn to stuff you can do on your own - reading, baking, puzzles etc
Dont fancy a book club
Not a crafter.
Not a walker .
Looked up the local WI but their programme was dire - talks about bridges etc just don’t interest me
Stepkids are grown so no friendships through them
Dont want to do any more study .
Not religious
Not into singing

Now I know that that is a long list of negatives and I sound a right misery guts , but I promise you Im not. I just wanted to be upfront rather that saying no to everything people suggest. I would happily do some volunteering but its the same issue - what exactly?

Any thoughts gratefully accepted ( including being told to just try something !)

Quiz night at a local pub?

I would 3rd (or is 4th) the suggestion of U3A - my mum has also developed some good friendships and done lots of interesting stuff through hers.

I go to an art group for autistic adults. All different abilities, no obligation, no demands or pressure. You can join in with others or work on your own, depending on how you feel. They have a loose theme each week, but you can do your own thing if you want to.

Volunteer at junior parkrun is very friendly . You can go along and support but not run

U3A looks promising! I’ll give it a good look tomorrow

I don’t really want to do any volunteering that involves “ customers’ for the moment as just retiring so don’t want to have to be professional for a while if you see what I mean!

I know you're an introvert, but does amateur dramatics appeal at all?

Might sound bonkers, but I'm an introvert and I love it. There's loads of things to do besides actually acting (e.g. backstage, helping with props /costumes etc) if treading the boards doesn't appeal.

Don’t fancy golf or bowls Im afraid.
I do already do a quiz night with DH. I like it but can’t see us making friends there

Really appreciating everyone’s suggestions

@bringincrazyback Possibly, although Im not sure I have any useful skills …I could be the prompt I suppose!

Yes, knitting and/or crochet are great! I'm not a 'naturally crafty' person, but am now a good knitter and crocheter. Crochet is easier, but I prefer knitting. There are lots if knit and natter groups around. I don't think you need a tutor tbh. I learned from a beginner's book and YouTube videos.

I have made lifelong friends through yoga. It takes a while though. As an introvert you will love it as no one talks to you unless you want them to. Catch an eye, nod as you put your shoes back on and eventually friendships blossom. The right yoga studio for your vibe will feel like home so don’t be put off if you don’t enjoy the first one or few that you try.

Join a photography club? They often have outings to 'things to take pictures of', and everyone wanders off alone to do their own thing, but then they meet up to share the results. You can be as social or not as it suits you.

Are you geeky in anyway? Card games (magic the gathering)/ table top adventures might he good. Local game stores have like a game night every Friday?

I'm an introvert. I've been a knitter since my teens and am now 60, used to knit aran sweaters years ago but in the last 10 years I've learned to knit lace so now mainly do shawls or scarves.

I took up watercolour during covid and I absolutely love it!

Organised History walks
Pottery classes
Travelling with organised groups such as Intrepid.
Gardening
Photography classes

Some libraries will do puzzle sessions. If not, you can talk to your local library (a town library might be better than a village library) and ass if they want to set one up. Some also do lego clubs. As suggested, you can do board game nights - independent book shops and cafes do them.

I also recommend knitting or crochet. You don’t need to be brilliant at them, you generally get better with time but you’re still immensely proud of the first wonky thing you make! You can get as involved or not. So you could find a group at a local store or again some libraries do sessions. You can start getting to know people via social media by joining groups and then engaging more or not. Knitting and crochet can be quite portable so if you go out, take it with you and people will strike up conversations with you. You’ll also just naturally encounter people who knit and crochet too and you might generally spark up a friendship there. Some hospitals also have knit and crochet groups for people to make blankets for patients of the hospital.

Geocaching? Granted you said you don’t like walking but it gives a walk purpose, they aren’t often that far to walk to and there might be a local Facebook group to join/way to meet people to go along with?

Also an introvert, but haven't got very far making friends through some of the activities like the ones people have suggested. I do pilates, but the group only assembles 5 minutes before the class starts, and it's in the evening so afterwards everyone drives home. I do an art class, but - again - everyone just buzzes off home afterwards. Although we do have some nice chats when we're there. On the other hand, I have met quite a few people through volunteering for my local community art gallery. They're always looking for stewards and similar, and although it is customer focussed most people who go and look at exhibitions or similar actually want to be there, and are therefore very nice.

I quite often go along to things I'm not interested in, in fact I had a period of time when I said no to nothing. Some of them turned out to be dull outings, but with nice people, some forced me well out of my comfort zone, which was good for me and some introduced me to things that were far more interesting than I thought and have become regular hobbies.

I think the key, if the aim is to make friends, especially if you're introverted, is to pick something that happens at least weekly and turn up every week.

Ive just gone down a U3A rabbit hole! Looks promising .

Not interested in photography Im afraid.
Not a history buff .
I travel lots with my DH so don’t need a group to travel with
Geocaching? Need to find out a bit more about that

As a pp suggested, how about volunteering at Parkrun? I have made new friends that way. I never actually run.

@Itabsolutelyispossible That’s more volunteering than a hobby though. But I could consider it one day. Im looking for something interesting but not solitary if you see what I mean.

Why don’t you try doing a night time course in flower arranging or pottery or try art classes? You’re still doing things solo and remaining sociable in the room. You’ll have to be a little bit brave and perhaps try something out of your immediate comfort zone.

When you find something you like doing in your own time, you’ll be able to make friends with similar people who have similar interests

I know you said you're not religious but you don't have to be to do this, despite appearances - bellringing. You can talk as much or as little as you want but people have a common goal, ages 8-90, physical and mental, generally a very friendly community

Painting and drawing? Art schools do evening classes for beginners and it's something you can also do at home with minimal equipment so it's a good one even if you don't make friends.

I have a local WhatsApp group for women, mainly used to pass on unwanted stuff and ask for recommendations, and there are sometimes meetups on there, I've made a couple of nice local friends that way.

I have just started volunteering at parkrun. It is fab. Gets you out in the fresh air early on a Saturday morning and you are surrounded by lovely, happy people. I love it so much I am now thinking about volunteering with the Scouts as well.

Or ... do you have a cinema with a film club near you? Can meet people that way but you can also be quiet in their presence for most of it!