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Original poster

Like a challenge? Help me find a hobby where I can make friends..BUT…

144 replies

Sidebeforeself · 22/09/2024 19:04

….I am an introvert! Im also a bit picky about interests so I’d appreciate any ideas people might have.

Context: I’d like one ( more would be even better!) friend that I could meet up with for a coffee etc . I do have friends but they all live quite far away and everything has to be arranged weeks in advance. I think the best way to meet people would be through developing a hobby, but Ive never been hobby -minded. My “ issues “ are

I don’t like sports of any kind ( already go to a gym )
Naturally drawn to stuff you can do on your own - reading, baking, puzzles etc
Dont fancy a book club
Not a crafter.
Not a walker .
Looked up the local WI but their programme was dire - talks about bridges etc just don’t interest me
Stepkids are grown so no friendships through them
Dont want to do any more study .
Not religious
Not into singing

Now I know that that is a long list of negatives and I sound a right misery guts , but I promise you Im not. I just wanted to be upfront rather that saying no to everything people suggest. I would happily do some volunteering but its the same issue - what exactly?

Any thoughts gratefully accepted ( including being told to just try something !)

OP posts:
CocoapuffPuff · 22/09/2024 20:06

Helping out at a local community garden?

Volunteering to do shopping for omeone who is housebound? Chat afterwards?

Volunteer at local national Trust property or gallery?

AuntieStella · 22/09/2024 20:08

My two suggestions would be

  • volunteer gardening at a local community garden - you'll both meet people doing it and find out about other local events.
  • learn to play bridge. You could join a beginners' course at a club, so you're meeting people from the off (and DH can't say you can just do it at home as you need 4)
Original poster
Sidebeforeself · 22/09/2024 20:13

Thanks for the suggestions…please keep em coming!
Im really not a gardener and not particularly an outdoors type!

I think Im looking for something a can do /learn on a weekly basis so that I develop my interest/skill and hopefully it will mean I meet like minded people. Something I will enjoy for me if you see what I mean

OP posts:
Malvala · 22/09/2024 20:15

Ethnic cooking classes?

or baking?

Kneeslikethese · 22/09/2024 20:16

Have a look in your local library. As well as book clubs ours has scrabble club, knit and natter and a crochet group.

Paisleydad · 22/09/2024 20:16

Newnetter123 · 22/09/2024 19:44

Geocaching? Granted you said you don’t like walking but it gives a walk purpose, they aren’t often that far to walk to and there might be a local Facebook group to join/way to meet people to go along with?

Edited

I used to geocache.

It went downhill as more and more 'throwaway' No-effort caches went out there.

Initially, there was an inventive and inquisitive community. By the time I quit it was a numbers game riddled with film cannisters with wet paper inside, placed at any old location including the bases of lamp posts where dogs pee. I gave up the day I found a cache stuck to the back of a dog poo bin.

That said, with care, there are still some fun 'old school' caches out there and the 'events'.

TheNinthLock · 22/09/2024 20:20

Open water swimming - at a lifeguarded venue such as a lake - instead of in the wild.
Our local swimming lake is incredibly welcoming. You can swim as much or as little as you want, with or without a wetsuit. No body shaming, no one even looks twice.
Open water swimming is good for body and soul. There are always people to chat to post swim and friendships spring from those chats.
Lots of emphasis on cake and warm drink post-swim.
Lots of activities to take part in - full moon swims, dressing up events, team relay swims, parties. But no pressure. All welcome and all levels of swimming / enthusiasm are accepted 😊

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 22/09/2024 20:22

If you have an adult education centre near you, look at what courses they have on in the day, they’ll be full of retirees who aren’t ready to just stop and SAHMs who’s DCs are at school now.

if you don’t make any friends, you at least might develop a new skill.

Original poster
Sidebeforeself · 22/09/2024 20:23

@TheNinthLock Unfortunately I cant swim! I should try to learn again and maybe will but that will be a “chore” for me rather than a fun hobby ( at first anyway!)

OP posts:
museumum · 22/09/2024 20:28

Girl guides? Scouts? As an adult helper you can choose your age group and type of thing you help with.
gardening? Lots of local groups in various parks or do planters in the town/village.
community council?
heritage volunteering? Museums or local sites from archaeology to arts and stately homes.

Original poster
Sidebeforeself · 22/09/2024 20:34

As Im about to retire I feel a bit “burnt out”..nothing serious, but I don’t want responsibility for a bit. So I don’t think volunteering where I need to be reliable or responsible is what Im looking for at the moment

OP posts:
HeyMicky · 22/09/2024 20:35

What about roller derby? I know you said no sports but it's not a typical team sport. Almost everyone I skate with describes themselves as an introvert!

RoachFish · 22/09/2024 20:35

I volunteer at a home for women and children who have left abusive relationships where I help with raising funds and clothes/toys etc. It’s a little bit like work but very rewarding and the women working there are lovely. I also volunteer for a homeless dog’s place. It’s mainly playing and walking the dogs and a bit of light cleaning. I only do that one Sunday a month but it’s great for introverts.

JohnCravensNewsround · 22/09/2024 20:36

What about either volunteering? Good way of meeting like minded people. Local to me are things like gardening.
Also Local is walking group. Various degrees of difficult/easy.
Or something like rock choir?

Original poster
Sidebeforeself · 22/09/2024 20:37

@RoachFish Oh my god I’d want to bring all those dogs home!

OP posts:
SunsetSkylane · 22/09/2024 20:37

Photography - there are a lot of groups that meet up to practice street photography, etc. so you get a walk and a chat and learn something.

Original poster
Sidebeforeself · 22/09/2024 20:38

@JohnCravensNewsround Thanks but I’d said upthread Im not into walking or singing!

OP posts:
Original poster
Sidebeforeself · 22/09/2024 20:39

@HeyMicky Are you in the UK? Didn’t realise it’s a thing here. But no Im not into skating.

@SunsetSkylane Sorry not into photography

OP posts:
Freddiefan · 22/09/2024 20:40

I joined a knit and natter group a couple of years ago and have been made very welcome. We mainly make things for charity but one lady gives crochet lessons to anyone who wants them and everyone is very kind. Lots of tea, cakes and biscuits are consumed!

fernis · 22/09/2024 20:41

Parkrun? I know you said you're not sporty, but you can walk parkrun if you like, and they also need lots of volunteer marshalls if you don't want to run or walk.

NotMeNoNo · 22/09/2024 20:42

Try some other WIs assuming you can travel a little way, there are plenty of more modern groups around the country, they will have social media to get a flavour of what's going on.

PC20 · 22/09/2024 20:44

I started bellringing in my 50s. Very sociable. Beginners are welcome and most people of a comparable age. (I am) but most ringers are not part of the church community. PM me if you want more info

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 22/09/2024 20:46

How about CrossFit? That seems to be very much a community.

HeyMicky · 22/09/2024 20:48

@Sidebeforeself Yes, its niche but growing.