I need to know if this is normal

[FunnysInLaJardin]

DS2 has ordered online a skirt, cropped top and fishnets which arrived today, although he was very cagey about it.

Appears to be a straight forward boy and so am not sure where this has come from.

He is 14 and so is this par for the course? I am very old at 53 and feel so out of my depth.

DS1 who is 18 and at uni is totally cool with it, so think it might just be me and DH struggling

I feel I should just be cool too, but it has taken me rather by surprise

I'm assuming for him to wear?

No, I don't think it is 'normal' for a 14 year old boy to want to wear a skirt, crop top and fishnets but perhaps, at 40 I'm old too. I also have a son a similar age and he doesn't order any clothes himself let alone your sons choice in clothing!

I'd assume that since this is out of character, he's taking part in a fancy dress.

Apparently not, I asked him that. But got a positive response when asked if he was interested in cross dressing.

His brother has just gone to uni so am thinking it might be a trauma type response

I'm 36 and this definitely wouldn't have been accepted when I was 14... But. This new generation are so open, I've just been watching Sex Education on Netflix and realised times have really changed. Have you asked him about it?

Sorry cross post

Could be for all sorts of reasons OP, some best not discussed. I'd leave him to it.

Neither did DS1!

He is very intelligent and in top sets for everything so maybe this is just an extension of his intellect ?🤞

What method has he used for shopping online? I thought you'd have to be 18? 16 at a stretch?

What is that?

"He is very intelligent and in top sets for everything so maybe this is just an extension of his intellect ?🤞"

Eh? What on earth does being intelligent have to do with it?
I don't really think it's a big deal, he's figuring out who he is and experimenting. As long as he's safe and not posting photos online/ having underage sex then best leave him to it.

Chat to him about it. Be curious and let him speak if he wants to. Sounds like he’s exploring something he might be interested in and being creative about it. ‘Hold the space’ for him 😁

I would definitely feel discombobulated by that, but I know I’m old. For example, when I was at school, gay equated with being camp, think John Inman or Larry Grayson, and you never (or rarely) saw ‘straight’-looking gay men ( until people like George Michael came out).

I wouldn’t quite know how to handle that either, apart from have a one-to-one conversation about it.

What?! As long as you have a debit card you can shop online. Why on earth wouldn't you be able to?

DS is 12 and gets his pocket money on a pre-paid debit card - he's bought his Dad a birthday present and a few game passes etc.

Great way to teach him about money.

That will be what this is about then. Talk to him, he is the only one who knows what he is wanting these clothes for.

Lend him your lipstick 🤷🏻‍♂️

I think your reaction isn't normal, but as you say it may be your age. Perhaps you need to find some online groups specific to this where you and DH can find out more, explore your feelings around it, and get used to it.

This is so hard, if our reaction is not normal, are most parents cool with this?

Doubt it. I think your reaction is perfectly normal to your 14 year old son wanting to wear skimpy clothes and fishnets completely out of the blue.

I especially recommend the feminism chats on Mumsnet.

Porn.

Poor bloody kids today.

I don’t know, wondering if it is an extension of his eternally enquiring mind

No! Talk to him and understand but if he wants to wear that out....no. (I wouldn't let my daughter either!!)