I need to know if this is normal

[FunnysInLaJardin]

DS2 has ordered online a skirt, cropped top and fishnets which arrived today, although he was very cagey about it.

Appears to be a straight forward boy and so am not sure where this has come from.

He is 14 and so is this par for the course? I am very old at 53 and feel so out of my depth.

DS1 who is 18 and at uni is totally cool with it, so think it might just be me and DH struggling

I feel I should just be cool too, but it has taken me rather by surprise

He’s experimenting. I personally wouldn’t stress about it. .

I would try and discuss all the reasons; tactfully. Primarily, I’d want to know if him dressing up to mimic a different persona is because he doesn’t feel happy about who he is in reality.

Er no it's not normal. I'd be concerned about who is is talking to online.

How do you know that he’s ordered it?

What if he gets turned on by wearing women's clothes? Should he discuss his sexual fantasies with his mother?

I wouldn’t know how to handle it either OP.

😂

If it was sexual though, surely he’d conceal the items? Stash them away until he’s alone in the house? You’d hope, anyway! Maybe OP can explain how the garments were introduced to the whole family

An extension of his intellect??
Trauma response to his brother going to Uni??
You can’t be serious…
Is this a joke thread?

I wouldn't let a 14yo wear fishnets, boy or girl!

Well it wouldn't be considered ok if a girl wanted to wear that outfit and fishnets. No doubt if a girl had ordered this online most would say to take it away at 14 as it is not appropriate.

I think a lot of men seem to love the chance to dress up in " women's ckothes". Probably because it's riske in a way wonen dressing in " men's clothes" isn't any longer. Time for clothes to be clothes.

It's understandable that this has come as a bit of a shock to you but try to remain calm and non judgemental. Let him know he can talk to you about anything and that you love and support him. It sounds like he may be exploring his gender identity. Try not to over-react and just be prepared to listen whenever he wants to talk.

Well no actually my advice would be the same... let her experiment but make sure she's safe/not having underage sex/not uploading photos online

Dressing like a 1970s prostitute is far more likely to be about fetish than 'intellect'.

But the choice is his and the money is his, so ultimately it's up to him.

Surely you should be still monitoring your 14 years old mobile phone and keeping an eye on what websites he is accessing ? I don't think this is normal behavior at all and I certainly would be considering getting him professional help

I'm curious though as to how you know he 'ordered online a skirt, cropped top and fishnets which arrived today'.

Did you or your DH open his parcel?

Also, how do you know his 18 year old brother 'is totally cool with it'?

A trauma type response to his brother going to uni??

What does that even mean

It’s not normal for any 14 year old to wear that sort of clothing. Talk to him - social media / peers / ridiculous messages from school could be the culprit.

Try and not let him to get sucked into anything online.

Good luck.

I'm another person who would be concerned about what he is looking at online.

Time to have conversations about online grooming / sextortion/ posting & receiving of explicit material. I would have a no phones/Internet at bedtime and open doors when online at other times policy at least.

As he's said he's interested in cross dressing, then I guess that's your explanation.
I'd be somewhat concerned about the fact the clothes do seem quite sexualised, fishnets etc. if he was to send pics to people in this attire it could go down a dark path. This clothes aren't really appropriate for that age of either sex.
Maybe that's the kind of thing you need to talk about. Making sure he's not doing it because someone online wants to see pics etc.
Other than that experimenting with clothes is a natural part of growing up. He may end up being into transvestism in a big way, it could just be a brief phase. But I would be wary of any unsuitable older influences.

He's 14. Check his phone and social media messaging for signs of grooming.

Younger people seem to be far more fluid with their gender and sexuality now. What I don’t understand is the fishnets. They seem a bit Rocky Horror. They would have me thinking this is more sexual than gender experimentation.