What is a respectable amount of money to give as a wedding gift?

[YesIJudge]

All day guests, in a lovely country hotel. I haven't been to a wedding for over 5 years so I have no idea how much to gift.

No you don't. This is an absolutely horrible attitude to being a guest that I've only ever seen on MN.

You're not "taking advantage". You're a guest.
The b&g choose to host a wedding, the venue, the food etc. they invite loved ones to join in the celebrations.
It's not a "cost per plate" like a works dinner!

200 euro for a couple but I haven't been to a wedding for a few years so it may be more on average now but that's what we got from our guests in 2012.

we always give £50..

Same here. Dreadful.

Irish weddings are better than any English wedding I've been to, the celebrations last a good two to three days and it is a real lovely catch up with family you haven't seen in a while.

If you don’t want to give an appropriate thank you present and don’t believe that your loved one’s special day is worth the money (charming!) then don’t go, it’s as simple as that.

No, no you don't! You should not feel you need to cover your costs, that's not how it works. I'd go £50-100 but it depends how much you can afford as most people know that attending a wedding can cost a lot, especially if travel or a hotel is involved. If you don't want to or can't afford to give money then buy they a small, meaningful gift. We got some Mr and Mrs mugs - love them and still going strong 12 years later.

If the happy couple don’t believe their wedding is worth the cost then they should cut their cloth accordingly like DH and I did, not expect guests to cover the costs! How rude.

Luckily none of my loved ones would care if they didn't make 1000s of pounds from their wedding guests.

Then I shall remain a cheap skate 🤣

Quite!

I always only give £20, maybe I'm a cheapskate? Who knows 🤣
Seriously tho, if you had a wedding and got gifted £20 in a card from me, what would you think? Just curious.
Rather than gift £20, if that was all you could afford (and the b&g will no doubt know your circumstances) I would buy a photo frame and pop in a nice picture of the couple, or give them a bottle of something with a label saying 'for your first drink after the honeymoon" or something. My niece was a student when we got married, and as her pressie, arranged with the hotel to bring two glasses of Buck's Fizz to our room the morning after the wedding. It probably cost £20 and I still remember her thoughtfulness.

This, 💯

If not super close, perhaps £50 pp which is £100 for us two as a couple. May go up to £150 or £200 between us.

We gave £200 at a recent one. The cheque was cashed without any acknowledgement. I can only assume the couple were not happy with that amount. They had requested cash to pay down the loans they had taken to pay for their wedding. A bit awkward.

Totally. We were a few grand lighter after our wedding. That was our choice. We weren't expecting anyone to pay for our choices, just wanted them (and us!) to have a nice day. I'd be mortified if I thought someone was trying to work out how much our cost per head was and what they should pay to match that.

Yes, this absolutely. Imagine being so crass as to see it as a transaction.

I always do £80 and then £30 if evening guest

It’s not an expectation of guests to cover costs (in fact it would nowhere near cover the cost of a big, bells and whistles wedding), it’s more an expectation of politeness and gratitude that somewhere along the lines seems to get lost culturally in many people..

I don't think it's cheapskate territory.
You aren't expected to pay for their wedding day
It all goes in one pot and they will spend it collectively.
Glad I have a grateful mindset.

Actually I would think the B & G were cheapskates if they expected their guests to pay for the wedding by covering their costs.

Me too..

Lovely idea @Peakypolly!

Anything people choose to give is an expression of politeness. We got some items as presents, some contributions to our charity collection page, some John Lewis vouchers. Sent thank you cards to everyone.

I didn't actually take any notice of specific amounts. If one person gave us £10 and another gave us £100 I wouldn't have thought anything other than to remember to thank them.

It's not a politeness thing to try and pay someone back who has invited you to something.