What is a respectable amount of money to give as a wedding gift?

[YesIJudge]

All day guests, in a lovely country hotel. I haven't been to a wedding for over 5 years so I have no idea how much to gift.

Ugh what a horrible comment. Of course you can buy something nice and/or useful for £20, what on earth planet do you live on? I'm relieved that I am someone who would be happy and grateful to be given £20.

We gave £40 as evening guests recently, preferably in my view to a table full of bottles of champagne.

Why cover your meal and drinks? I don't understand this. They're hosting an event, you're a guest. Your gift is a gift. You're not paying to attend. Is this a new thing?

She didn't volunteer to give the voucher back, that's for sure. Didn't realise that she meant multiples of £100 to buy her new baby Armani socks, tbh.

There is literally no specific amount, you give what you can comfortably afford and you feel comfortable with. With my group of close friends the amount I've given them has increased over the years as our disposable income has increased. I think my first friend that got married around 12 years ago we were skint and could only afford something like £30 once we'd paid for the wedding accomodation etc. My friends this year I've spent more like £100. When I got married we got nothing from some friends, £25 vouchers from some and £50-£100 from others. We didn't think more or less of any of the guests, we wanted them there for them, not for them to pay their way at our wedding.

£50 maximum

if people expect you to cover the cost of your meal and drinks perhaps they shouldn't have expensive weddings they can't afford.

That you’re a cheapskate 🤣…. Honestly I would

Exactly. What an awful thing! I've never heard of this!

We do £30 not so close to the person and £50 for closer.

When it's someone really close we give more e.g BIL got £150 from us.

Out of interest, would the "cover your costs" people turn down a wedding invitation if you can't afford the £100? I definitely don't have spare money like that. I don't often go out because I can't afford it. Should I decline a wedding invitation? I'm genuinely asking as this whole wedding etiquette is baffling to me
And yes I have been to weddings and no I haven't given the happy couple anywhere near £100, ever! I guess everyone thinks I'm cheap. Perhaps I shouldn't be going at all!?!

Yes that's literally wedding etiquette.

Or maybe you just don't like them but politeness and society requires they attend...

Perhaps go and only eat 20 quids worth of food? And have a glass of water. Don't eat any of the evening buffet either.

No it's not. Not in my world anyway.

Don't decline a wedding invitation because of the gift! If you're conscious though I would say don't give money at all. Either give nothing or give a bottle of champagne/glasses etc. It's less noticeable! Anyone who is inviting you to their wedding genuinely wants you there, and they probably know a little bit about your personal circumstances, so don't give what you can't afford.

Perhaps it depends on how well you know the couple and how close they are to you. If it is immediate family, then perhaps rather more than you would for good friends, for instance.

Anything less than £100 is being a cheapskate. We’re in NI and it’s always very looked down upon when English friends and relatives only give £50!

You need to cover what it would cost as a meal out in my opinion. Giving less is unacceptable and taking advantage of the bride/groom.

On another thread, OP is being told she should provide food & drink for her husband’s 40th (drinks in a bar). On this thread, wedding guests are told they’re expected to cover their own costs!

I’d rather pay for my own drinks & food in a bar than pay £50 a head for a crap meal at a wedding!

people might say less but ideally at least £100pp (200 as a couple)

the very least you can get anyway with is £50 pp, £100 as a couple…but imo it’s a bit cheap

Depends who it is but id say £100 sounds decent

If I spent £100 on a meal out I’d expect a much better meal than any wedding I’ve been to!

You don’t go to a wedding for the food, you go to celebrate the marriage of a loved one.

So why should guests pay for the privilege of the bride & groom’s choices?

So why are you expected to pay for your meal then?