Looks likely a vote on assisted dying is imminent

[fragrantdog]

‘A vote to introduce assisted dying across the UK could be imminent after Downing Street reiterated that it would not obstruct a private member’s bill on the issue and indicated it would support an MP in drafting it.’

I always feel frustrated when I hear that all that is needed is good palliative care because it does not seem that in practice most dying people get that at all.

It's also not true. There are some people for whom no palliative care provides a level of relief that makes life bearable and allows them some dignity.

I’m so sorry that you had this experience too. It’s been nearly a year now since DM died and I’m still haunted by the horror of everything that didn’t happen at the hospice that we’d been led to believe would be there and available.

They could not get ontop of her pain. I pleaded for a driver which they finally put in but when DM said she didn’t get any relief they took the damned thing out and then instead of being in and out of consciousness she was fully awake. In agony. They should have upped the bloody dose not taken it out. It’s ridiculous to say oh she ‘might have wanted to live those last few days, we must do no harm, we must respect the right to life’. What complete rubbish.

It would have been so much better and kinder all round for her to have been able to say her goodbyes to us and peacefully go unconscious with an Alfentanil drip dialled higher and higher and die.

It’s like at the moment they keep them alive at all costs even when it’s bloody obvious they are going to die in a week or less because they stop eating, stop talking. Why prolong the pain?

This far out, im still very angry that modern medicine puts so many of us through such horror.

However I am starting to remember other memories now. I know she would not want me to dwell on those last few days but rather remember a lifetime of good times together and all the fun we had.

it has scared me mentally though when it comes to my own death, I want to have a choice to go, not go through what DM had to go through nor put my poor kids through it either.

Please would you explain more about what you mean here? Do you mean no pain relief, for example.

Yes. Some people don't respond to morphine. Or anything else. That was the case for my DM. There are 4 primary drugs that are used but if you don't respond to any of them, there's nothing else. You're completely and utterly screwed and experience agony every waking moment you are still conscious.

In this situation, it would be kinder to be unconscious or dead. Same thing really.

But in that case would they be sure there was no response possible rather than no response at that dose?

If the latter, then there could be a higher dose, then an even higher one if need be, warranted because it is to stop the pain even if it incidentally leads to death.

Or might that be deemed murder in the law as it stands? Would a doctor easing the pain in that way possibly get reported?

This would have been preferred by all of us. My mum included. We wanted the driver in and to go higher and higher. It was denied.

When the driver was in she was in and out of prolonged sleep but it did not relieve her pain, it sent her to sleep for more time.

When she was awake she was in horrific pain, unable to do anything for herself with multiple osteoporotic fractures. Do you know what it feels like to feel bone pain? If you’ve ever broken a bone? Not just in one bone but all over your body. Plus metastatic bone cancer pain?

Yes you are correct it would have been deemed murder/manslaughter if the consultant had followed our wishes.

They are not allowed to titrate upwards without waiting at least 24 hours to see if the current dose is working. Sometimes they will wait much much longer as they did with DM keeping her on same level for a week. What was the point?

At the very end of life they may go higher but by then the patient is often incapacitated and cannot speak so you don’t know what pain they are in or not. Then they won’t bother to do anything else but just keep whatever dose you reached.

My DM cried out until the last 36 hours. She could no longer speak words. Her eyes were closed. But she could wave her arms up and down which she did. We had no way of knowing what that meant, it was beyond cruel. She did not look comfortable.

Simply an appalling extended load of unnecessary suffering and a horrible painful death.

It’s a very traumatic thing to go through not least my poor DM.

Been following this thread with interest. I've always known my Dad is in support of euthanasia or assisted dying in some capacity, but he's spent 17 years fighting cancer in one form or another, and we know he won't last forever.

Two weeks ago week he announced he'd written to his MP, and then last week said he'd made a video to be shown in Parliament to the Health and Social Care Select Committee. This is the result...

https://x.com/joshsimonsmp/status/1854909988491133334

The film was actually about an hour's worth of material that was cut down, and this is the social media version. He also showed me his email that started the MPs contact with him, which was actually much harder to read than watching the video. He basically says everyone would wish a "good death" for themselves and others, but his choices are limited with the death he expects to have. It's either a drawn out painful death, spending massive sums travelling alone to Dignitas in Switzerland, or throwing himself Infront of a train at the station down the road, which he couldn't do because he wouldn't inflict that on the driver. My very lovely Dad already contemplating a way out for himself, well, just reading that email upset me far more than I ever thought it would. It also upset me as I realised my Mum, who generally doesn't possess any emotions whatsoever, had obviously been crying during the filming, because I can see in her face.

My opinion is that very strict controls and regulations are needed, but concerns about individuals being forced to make a choice they don't really want to shouldn't take away my Dad's choice if he DOES definitely want to.

@bringthecactusin very eloquently spoken. I am terminal ill with cancer. I have limited mobility and great pain. They say I probably have another year at most. I have no life. There is no pleasure, only pain. There are never any good days and each ‘good’ moment is tinged with sadness. I am on the highest dose of antidepressants I can be and have counselling. All I want is for it to be over and that should be my right to choose.

@Whatevershallidowithmylife all my love and well wishes to you. How can any human argue with what you have so eloquently and simply put. I hope for respite from this all for you soon 💐.

I live in a country where assisted dying is legal and when a relative had MND there was never any pressure that the relative take that route and whilst he did consider it for himself, he choose not to and died naturally. I've never heard of anyone facing any pressure - but have instead heard of people having comfort that the option is there if needed.

@bringthecactusin your dad is an amazing man. He should have the right to choose a death of his own choosing. Brave man

@Whatevershallidowithmylife thank you for speaking about this. Sending you the biggest of hugs, peace and love 🫂💐❤️