Help me make sense of how I feel? Transgender person in the loo.

[ScottishLottie]

I think of myself as very liberal - very 'live and let live', love is love and people should be absolutely free to be whomever they want to be.

Went into our local city on Fri last week and noticed a higher amount of transgender folk (specifically man to woman), socialising in the area. "Good on them!" I thought. Love living and working in a society where they're able to do this. I was actually interested and looked up why there might have been so many more trans people around and apparently there's some sort of 'First Friday' trans event whereby trans people congregate in trans-friendly bars and restaurants in the area on the first Friday of the month.

Fast forward to the next night and I was in the city again, having taken by 15 yr old DD and her friend to the theatre.

On coming out of the theatre, she needed the loo before we left, so her and the friend went in and I waited outside. As I was waiting, a transgender woman (quite a big, strong, butch-looking person underneath the dress and the makeup) entered the female bathroom and I had a completely visceral reaction. I was horrified that DD and friend were in a space where they might be a bit more vulnerable and they should be absolutely safe in a female-only environment.

Nothing happened of course, but I was surprised and ashamed that I felt the way I did.

What is the reason behind this? Why do I have opinions and feelings that I wasn't aware of? I feel awful but want to understand why I felt this way?

Women assertively defending ourselves is not 'bullying'. You seem very deeply confused as to what bullying is. Because you, are the bully here. And you can't see it can you?

Single sex spaces are required all over the world, in varying degrees. We allow them to disappear at our peril.

I agree.

MISSEXING a person is bullying women and girls.

Correct-sexing a person to their face is not bullying.

You're the bully here.

What cost?

who is harmed more , women who run the risk of being abused or used as a prop by men acting out their fetish ?

or men being told the truth that whatever they wear or whatever they do they remain men?

and please answer the question about rapists? Should their victims have to be respectful to their abusers , or else you deem them the bully?

Doing it to someone's face for no other reason than to make a point is shoddy behaviour

if anyone was advocating walking up to random transwomen on the street and saying “you’re a man” then you may have a point. But no one here is. We’re simply asking transwomen to acknowledge their own biological reality and honour single sex spaces.

If any man inserts himself into a female single sex space then it is entirely upon him if he is told to leave that space because it’s not for people of his sex. It is not bullying.

Men forcing their way into female spaces is bullying females, females telling men to stay out of those spaces is not.

You seem to believe it is, do explain how.

You're not asserting yourself by misgendering someone to their face. You're being unnecessarily rude to make a point.

I have made myself perfectly clear. Say what you want about how you feel about single sex spaces. Misgender someone in private if that's how you get your kicks. Doing it to someone to their face is just plain nasty behaviour.

Men forcing their way into female spaces is bullying females, females telling men to stay out of those spaces is not.

Simple as.

I have made myself perfectly clear. It is bullying to misgender someone to their face.

The genderist claim.is that we can prosecute and counter predators and abusers' behaviour while still being kind to them.

See Police Scotland ensuring rapists have 'a sense of belonging'.

Many women would argue that calling out predators and abusers and demonstrating their behaviour makes them unwelcome is.an.important part of the social.contract.

Looks like this thread has been picked up by the brilliant ripx4nutmeg on Twitter/X.

Does that extend to rape victims or not? Is a rapt victim a bully if she refuses to call her rapist she?

@CrochetForLife

This idea of not saying something to someone's face so as not to be rude is very interesting. I am a coward and wouldn't usually say anything to anyone's face but 1. Things like referring to a TW as a male or using the 'incorrect' pronouns isn't to their face anyway. So I, like many women, wouldn't go up to a TW and say 'you're a male' (partly of course because, not to labour the point but... Bigger, stronger, more violent...) and partly, yes, through politeness. Maybe through liberalism. 2. Not speaking out was linked to one instance when I was sexually assaulted. A male acquaintance was in my room. I was unwell and he brought me a drink. When he kissed me I didn't stop him because... Well, he'd brought me a drink when I was ill, he was 'nice', I was a rabbit in headlights not knowing what to say so as not to upset him. Then he groped me. And then I couldn't stop him because in my mind I'd let him kiss me, so I'd led him on, so I had to let him because this was all my fault.
Luckily someone else came in. He immediately stopped (thereby making it clear that he knew this wasn't consensual).
This happened because I was literally too polite to say no.
And this is absolutely peculiar to me.
So I do find it terrifying actually that it is now an expectation among MRAs that we swallow down our instincts and fears to be kind to males

I think it's good for us to have these conversations for the benefit of lurkers and people who aren't au fait with genderism and what it means for women and girls.

Not speaking out was linked to one instance when I was sexually assaulted. A male acquaintance was in my room. I was unwell and he brought me a drink. When he kissed me I didn't stop him because... Well, he'd brought me a drink when I was ill, he was 'nice', I was a rabbit in headlights not knowing what to say so as not to upset him. Then he groped me. And then I couldn't stop him because in my mind I'd let him kiss me, so I'd led him on, so I had to let him because this was all my fault.
Luckily someone else came in. He immediately stopped (thereby making it clear that he knew this wasn't consensual).
This happened because I was literally too polite to say no.
And this is absolutely peculiar to me.
So I do find it terrifying actually that it is now an expectation among MRAs that we swallow down our instincts and fears to be kind to males

I'm sorry. Men who push boundaries in this way know what they are doing. Female socialisation can be a killer, occasionally literally.

Misgendering, even the Labour Party have recognised what a dangerous load of nonsense that is.

I think there have been several polls- cba to dig them up- which show British people of both sexes support safe spaces for women. They may not know what gender critical means. They may even want to be kind to transwomen. But they don't see being kind as opening up safe spaces. It's just that they may not have put two and two together.

But the tide is turning, I think.

But that is what you are doing with your long rambling self absorbed posts. Trying to bully the women into submission.
It not bullying to speak the truth, it's not bullying to want to speak up for what you believe.
It's mental to think lying, upholding delusions and giving validation to said delusion is even considered bullying!

What makes any of you think I've lived a charmed life without being attacked and assaulted by men?

I still wouldn't be rude to some random people I'd just met.

So you would be on.the side of the man who told Cubana Angel she was 'being a dick' for complaining about the naked transwoman in Wi Spa?

How would you defend yourself against a flasher? How would you do that without displeasing him?

And I'm sorry for any bad experiences you've had. Most women unfortunately understand that all too well.

Again, defending womens rights is NOT being 'rude'. You, are the one being rude. You are a bully.