Help me make sense of how I feel? Transgender person in the loo.

[ScottishLottie]

I think of myself as very liberal - very 'live and let live', love is love and people should be absolutely free to be whomever they want to be.

Went into our local city on Fri last week and noticed a higher amount of transgender folk (specifically man to woman), socialising in the area. "Good on them!" I thought. Love living and working in a society where they're able to do this. I was actually interested and looked up why there might have been so many more trans people around and apparently there's some sort of 'First Friday' trans event whereby trans people congregate in trans-friendly bars and restaurants in the area on the first Friday of the month.

Fast forward to the next night and I was in the city again, having taken by 15 yr old DD and her friend to the theatre.

On coming out of the theatre, she needed the loo before we left, so her and the friend went in and I waited outside. As I was waiting, a transgender woman (quite a big, strong, butch-looking person underneath the dress and the makeup) entered the female bathroom and I had a completely visceral reaction. I was horrified that DD and friend were in a space where they might be a bit more vulnerable and they should be absolutely safe in a female-only environment.

Nothing happened of course, but I was surprised and ashamed that I felt the way I did.

What is the reason behind this? Why do I have opinions and feelings that I wasn't aware of? I feel awful but want to understand why I felt this way?

Yes yes, we are weak, rude hysterical women who should just shut up and stop being so nasty, riiight.

PaillettenBedeckt it is highly unpleasant to find a majority disagree with you.

I'm sorry you've not been well, and I hope that the medication continues to help. It seems to me that you're just lashing out, now, and it's not really helpful to anyone. Hope you feel better soon.

Have at it.

Yes, my grandmother would be extremely proud of me for standing up to bullies. She'd be thrilled.

Deliberately upsetting someone to their face is rude, yes.

Obviously it is.

I think she'd be really shocked that you've been groomed to put men's interests ahead of vulnerable women's. I know my grandmother would be appalled at this. She was a staunch advocate for women all of her life.

I'd say exactly the same thing to a man who was unpleasant to someone to their face.

It has nothing to do with you being a woman.

This thread is unbelievable.
And saddening.

Women can’t have anything, can we? Not even safety and dignity.

Arabella was so right to point out that no one ever talks about the behaviour of some of these men who invade our spaces, we’re to ignore the fact completely that we should give over our spaces to a proportion of men that are using us to act out their fetishes.

Quite unbelievable. We KNOW this happens but we still must put men first. 😡

But yet it's fine for men to undermine women's safety/dignity/boundaries.

Thats cool. But stating reality is 'rude'

Absolutely bizarre thinking

I don't care if it makes men sad when I put my daughter's safety first.

Do you not even realise how you're throwing women under the bus with your TWAW nonsense? Or do you just not care?

Nothing excuses bullying.

Eggs-fucking-xactly, we get upset with males in our spaces, when people like you tell us we are rude, bigots and whatever other shit we are told. Why is the upset we feel lesser to you?

Just extraordinary that this is in question. Madness

And the whole lifts and busses thing. Does this kind of idea relate to the claim that we're 'phobic'. Ie we're all so stupidly and hysterically and unnecessarily terrified of all men that we can't see how our silly lady views will end with us basically demanding Taliban style segregation.
No, I'm not 'phobic' and I don't need sex-segregated lifts for goodness sake. I simply understand biology and that men are stronger and bigger than I am, more violent,more criminal. That is well-evidenced throughout history, and in addition I have my own lived experience to tell me that. I don't go running in terror from all men or live in a female-only commune. I interact perfectly normally with men in day to day life. That doesn't mean I want them in female single sex spaces.

You think reality is 'bullying'. Don't shoot the messenger.

What about the women being bullied out of their spaces?

Or is it only bullying when women do it? 🤔

Your grandmother would not have approved of men in women's spaces.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/transgender-sex-offender-who-attacked-29765751.amp

But we're being so rude and bullying to point this out 🫣

Yet you see nothing in your own emotive / shaming language telling us we must treat some men as women (why?) & put women’s safety at risk because, for some reason, their feelings are THE MOST IMPORTANT thing ? I think that’s bullying.

Do you think that rape victims should call their rapists she if they claim they are women too?

This is yet another of the inconsistencies that are repeated time after time.

The logic never holds up to any bit scrutiny for longer than it takes to point out these things.

Smears and insults, it's all genderists actually have. It's not a remotely convincing argument for why I should pretend I think men can be women.

Deliberately upsetting someone to their face is rude, yes.

But deliberately bullying women and girls and forcing some to exclude themselves from spaces and services that are supposed to be for them is what? A hell of a lot more than rude in my book.

There's no justification for being rude to someone's face.

You can say oh what about this or what about that until you're blue in the face. Anyone who would say to someone's face something that they know is going to cause them distress when it isn't in the slightest bit hard to just call them by the gender they have asked to be referred to as is being unpleasant and spiteful.

It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman. It doesn't matter if you're angry that we have women and men sharing hospital wards (already happening). It doesn't matter if you feel a deep desire to blow your trumpet about your ideologies. It doesn't matter if you don't genuinely believe that they're a man or a woman. It's not hard to stop short of actually bullying others.

I will not ever support that. I don't care if a thousand people tell me it's fine and it's justified. It isn't.

And yet, you miss the very point that it is YOUR posts that are bullying others. This is hypocritical.

Okay so you think I'm rude. So what? I believe reality is more important. I'm not a liar.

You don't believe women have rights to their own spaces and boundaries, even to the word that describes them. I find that appalling.