Parents don’t want to raise children anymore

[radiator2]

As some of you may be aware some children have been arrested in relation to the murder of an 80yr old. The mother of one of the rioters has also jetted off on holiday with no regard for the fact her child was due in court. While these are two quite extreme cases they seem to represent a bigger issue and I feel like nobody can be bothered to parent nowadays. I work around children and I see it daily, parents unbothered with discipline or actually raising their kids. It feels like some parents have no clue what their kids are up to meanwhile kids younger and younger are committing crimes and getting in huge trouble at school. I genuinely fear for the future with some of those in this generation of children and I can’t work out if more kids are just terrible people or if more parents have kids with no interest in raising them. I might be being a little dramatic but these kids don’t seem afraid or anything or to care what damage they cause

In earlier generations, when birth control measures weren't as effective as they are now, families tended to be larger, e.g. 11 children in the case of someone among my ancestors, so older children learned how to help their mothers, what to expect from a new-born, how to hold the new baby, to sing, to talk, to rock, to play with the little ones. I agree with you about parents being more isolated now.

im an oldie. The ultimate punishment was a smack. Do you want a smacked bum was regularly touted. Small children behave if they don’t want a smack Makes child rearing a doddle. The belt was used in my day at secondary school. I was belted once -fortunately not by one of the more masochistic male teachers. There was punishment and it worked.
There’s no punishment now.

Why is it right to hit children but not adults?

I don't believe children behaved when threatened with a smack, or that they learned anything from it. If they can't regulate behaviour yet the threat of violence won't magically make them.

I bet you used to get men saying their wives 'behave' if threatened too, but that wasn't right either, was it?

I'm a relative oldie too. My dad once accidentally broke my finger when grabbing my hand too hard to smack me. He was abject with remorse, but he never smacked me again and I'm vehemently opposed to smacking. It's a warped society that says it's not OK to hit an adult but fine to hit a child.

Totally agree there needs to be punishment and consequences for bad behaviour. Agree that there aren't enough of them nowadays. But they shouldn't consist of assault, however much of a 'doddle' that might make things for parents.

(Plus, your 'doddle' is a great way to give a kid the idea that violence is an OK way to deal with a difficult situation. Just saying.)

I’m a relative oldie. My dad believed in smacking. But often as a way to get his own frustrations and stresses of life out as opposed to it being “appropriate” punishment for a misdemeanour .

For example the same comment could be interpreted as back chat in one moment when it could have been seen as friendly joking another. Dependent entirely on his mood.

Sure, I behaved.

But my kids never had any of that and still behave. They get good grades, say please and thank you, can behave well in a restaurant, were able to take turns from a young age All the stuff you would judge me on. without the need to assault them.

wheras me? I am mid fifties now and at the sound of a raised voice I cower internally waiting for the smack.