Reception Home Visit - felt so awkward😂

[Cheekychiq]

Omg just wanted to quickly vent - just had my child’s teacher/TA round for their reception home visit. I had been extremely nervous about this because although I had consented to it, I was really not keen on having it because I just feel like it’s a massive invasion of privacy - don't get me wrong, I know that them doing home visits serves a fantastic purpose and they get to see your child in a more comfortable and familiar setting and can definitely be a great opportunity for some parents to raise concerns that they might not get the chance to do on the school premises but still - I feel like if I had not consented then you automatically get labelled as that uncooperative parent and it might look like you’ve got something to hide 😳

the visit went well and my child was very pleased to see them and super enthusiastic 😂 but it just felt soooo unnatural to me and I just felt soooo uncomfortable throughout. It’s the first time I’ve had a teacher at my home so maybe that’s why and they were very lovely but still 😂😂😭😭 just curious, has anyone ever declined a school home visit (if it was ever offered at your child/ren’s school?) if yes, did you feel like there was any backlash? Or not? Arrrgh feel like I need to really unwind and destress after this because I noticed the TA checking out the house (she didn’t know I could see her) and her eyes were darting left, right and centre) 🥲

ARRRRRGHHHHH😂 I’m sure I’ll recover …vent complete

Well if you've just updated yours, then of course so must the rest of the millions of uk families with children starting school this week 😂.

Do they put children's names and faces on the electoral roll these days? I don't recall wither of my children ever having their photos done for it!

They are under no obligation to tell you the teacher's private business. She may not have known herself how long she would be off or whether she would be coming back.

I'm sure the GTA disc and obligatory-chav-dog-SBT from DC1 visit already had me marked down as a dodgy character 🤣

I do hope the fresh coffee and home made cakes made up for it, but I doubt it 😬

Wait there’s been parents that didn’t let you in the house? Omg, that’s a bit much

I’m a district nurse so spend my whole working life in people’s homes trust me I’m not making any judgements about people’s homes. Some of my patients live in absolute hovels, other great big piles most somewhere in between; I judge no one that is not my role (as long as there isn’t any safeguarding issues) Im just there help and care for people as best I can.
Im pretty sure my HV/midwife colleagues would say the same.

Yes, a few. It's no problem, except we need to see the child at their home. So they decline the visit, we ask if they'd be ok with a quick doorstep chat. No one has refused that.

They really, really are not there to judge you in any way.

It sounds as if it worked as it should: your Dc was really happy with it, and had the opportunity to meet the classroom staff. It was fine… nothing to worry about!

They did it at DC’s primary. I thought it was such a positive commitment from the school towards helping kids settle in.

My dd had a visit when she started 8 years ago now. The teacher and TA still remember her proudly wearing her swimming goggles to show them.
All these arsey people who think people are judging them presumably have some deep seated issues!
I know i am a good mum, my home wasn’t perfect and teachers are just humans like me. It wouldn’t occur to me to feel intimidated or judged.

So you don't feel any explanation should have been given to the parents or to the children as to why the teacher they had met on three occasions who they understood was going to be their reception teacher for their first two terms in school wasn't there to settle them in?

We used to do a home visit when I was working in a nursery. It was done at the start of term. The children loved it and months later they would say you came to my house? Even the one who hid said you came to my house and I hid and then laughed. It really benefited the children. Could be very tiring for us though. The annoying thing was the people who weren’t in when we called they had forgotten then wanted us to come back not realising there was a strict timetable. Mind you we had someone make the efff to phone from abroad when their flight was cancelled.

Off sick, is enough explanation.

No. If she was ill it would be a gross invasion of her privacy to give you information about this.

My dd is twenty and had a home visit. Now I am a supply teacher and I did quite a bit of cover last term so teachers could do home visits.

Yep, we had this too and DC is now 18!

Our school do them this week for new reception children. Then settling in starts next week. My DD was happy to meet her new teacher and show them her favourite toys! The teachers also visit the local pre schools and nurseries to speak to staff and observe children at play.

I had this and when my daughter went to school she was put in a different class to the teacher who visited - which really threw her as she’d really bonded with the one who had visited 😅
I didn’t mind the cross over though personally - was glad to get some time alone with teacher and TA and ask questions and get to know them.

It's to make sure you provide a safe home, nothing to do with you or a neutral setting. I couldn't imagine trusting an adult to care for my child, and feeling weird about them visiting my home for the sake of safeguarding!

Well this makes me glad that mine went to the school’s nursery! They just did the visit there.

Why, though? Are you unhappy with your child's room?

Oh my, I have never heard of this. It didn't happened for my first, or second. I have only had the mandatory health visitor appts for the growth chart/weighings.

I'm pleased it went well. It seems so OTT. I'm surprised they even have the time! There are 3 classes in one of my dc's year groups, it would be impossible.

I think it’s more about the lines being “blurred” as someone mentioned

I find it a bit OTT as well tbh

Had this for all 3 of mine, with DC1 I had just had DC3 and we were in the process of getting a new bathroom, the teacher and TA were lovely but I was stressed!

They tried to do it this year for my youngest who just started, I said no.

They have taught my older kids and never done a home visit before, its a 'new' idea to the school apparently.

They have had no issues in the last 10 years with my kids or parenting. They know my kids are well mannered and looked after. I'm involved with the school in all my DS SEN stuff as well as his dietary issues so they know I feed them well and I'm actively am involved in seeking out the best medical treatment for them.

The early years teachers know my DD by name already, in fact they even have a nickname for her and have interacted with her nearly daily for the last 3 years of school runs with her brother since she was a baby.

There is absoloutly no need for them to sit in my living room, its a waste of their time and mine.

I presumed these visits ( we never had one) were mostly to verify catchment area/ address etc and I suppose seeing their bedroom etc makes it harder to set it up to sit in grandma’s sitting room for the visit.

I suppose they probably also get a feel for a house with lots of children’s books, artwork on fridge etc and get a feel for who has had lots of support at home/nursery and who might need more support on arrival.

I doubt it’s what we feel as mums, namely how clean is the kitchen floor and how tidy was the sitting room! As another poster mentioned, those things loom large on Mn but in reality a warm environment and natural interaction with mum probably makes a better impression in terms of people interested in the child’s home life. But I’d still have been hoovering and getting out the deep clean toilet fluid! It’s only natural to feel that way.

Another thing that I always wonder about is when doctors etc ask Dc “ and who lives with you?” And if dcs say something vague like “ my family,” they push on with “ so who is that then?” It’s presented as casual chat but is routinely rolled out and pursued even if the Dc seems disinterested in that line of chat, so that im sure they are checking for something in particular, like “ I live in the understairs cupboard like Harry Potter.” Or “ mum and dad and mums boyfriend and their 13 other kids, and Dad’s current shag is there on Tuesday and the weekend…” I just don’t know . 🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe a medical person on here knows?