Reception Home Visit - felt so awkward😂

[Cheekychiq]

Omg just wanted to quickly vent - just had my child’s teacher/TA round for their reception home visit. I had been extremely nervous about this because although I had consented to it, I was really not keen on having it because I just feel like it’s a massive invasion of privacy - don't get me wrong, I know that them doing home visits serves a fantastic purpose and they get to see your child in a more comfortable and familiar setting and can definitely be a great opportunity for some parents to raise concerns that they might not get the chance to do on the school premises but still - I feel like if I had not consented then you automatically get labelled as that uncooperative parent and it might look like you’ve got something to hide 😳

the visit went well and my child was very pleased to see them and super enthusiastic 😂 but it just felt soooo unnatural to me and I just felt soooo uncomfortable throughout. It’s the first time I’ve had a teacher at my home so maybe that’s why and they were very lovely but still 😂😂😭😭 just curious, has anyone ever declined a school home visit (if it was ever offered at your child/ren’s school?) if yes, did you feel like there was any backlash? Or not? Arrrgh feel like I need to really unwind and destress after this because I noticed the TA checking out the house (she didn’t know I could see her) and her eyes were darting left, right and centre) 🥲

ARRRRRGHHHHH😂 I’m sure I’ll recover …vent complete

It was done for all 3 of mine. I saw it as an opportunity for the teachers to see my children in a place where they felt completely safe and relaxed. I never had a problem with it. The children started in reception later than the other years so the teachers had the first week or so to go round and visit the homes. It would never have occurred to me to say no

HV visiting the house and all that is not mandatory, it’s all optional even though you’re not told this.

I am about to have this visit for DC4. Each reception teacher (and TA) has come round for 39 mins of chat with me/child.

I don't see the point really. The teachers have all said it's so they have a topic of conversation with your child, can say "remember when I visited your house and met your cat" etc. I can't see how this really helps for most kids tbh.

My DD did her first home visit today! She said they ask about allergies, what toys they like etc. to find out more about the child. They’re not judging you. lAnd parents can decline the visit too.

My friend had this with a Catholic school. Also isnt it to do with people using false addresses to get a school place.

It happens a lot down here, one local school has published the home visit dates on their timetable for the new term.

How many people visited ? you mention teacher then TA and refer to the visit as ' they '
Our local school can only ' spare ' the reception teacher to do the home visits as they take place during term time, and thus the TA stays in class with the other reception pupils.

I said it wouldn't work for us but look forward to seeing you in September, or similar. Fuck that.

I had this with my two youngest for sure. Can’t remember with the older one! It was a bit stressful - felt the need to tidy and clean a lot and get the good toys out! “Oh yes, we have books lying about as they just adoooooore reading! Oh the giant TV? Just for educational shows like Life on Earth and watching the news!”

As a reception teacher we do home visits. It is a chance to see your child in their home where they feel comfortable and a chance to hopefully build positive relationships with you as the parents. We are finding more and more parents seem so against us as teachers and we are trying very hard to keep that communication open. We are absolutely not there to judge that you have clothes out that need sorting or unwashed dishes. You are right that it can give us some insight into the child, if home life does appear chaotic, no visible toys ect...and the child is presenting with issues at school then we have some knowledge there already that might help us to work with and support your child. Equally, we do not judge if you don't book in a home visit.

Oh and the TA asked to go up to their bedroom! I thought that was a bit odd tbh, and part of me wondered if it was a test to see if I’d let my DC go off with a random stranger and no supervision but of course I couldn’t say no! Outrageous really.

Oh that’s interesting as we had not long moved to the area and this school is oversubscribed. I guess checking out that the child does indeed have their own room at the house would help to weed out people just using the house as an address for the application.

Yes I think the “ home turf” aspect is probably seen as helpful to the children as well.

Thank goodness this was not a thing when my children were young as I would have declined it immediately without a second thought.

A massive invasion of privacy unless we were also invited back to have a good look at the teacher's house!

I genuinely think it did nothing to ease anything tbh. I too felt it was invasive and just not required. The teacher visited nursery, twice. They then had at least open days, stay and play type things as well as a meet the teacher for parents. There was nothing, nothing at all, covered during the home visits that had not been covered by any of several previous meetings. It did feel judgy and snoopy and if I had my time again I would have politely declined.

I think children should get the opportunity to start their schooling as a blank canvas, on equal footing. Not having already been stereotyped by what the teacher think of their home.

We live in a very wealthy area, we are not. I dreaded being the only parent living in a flat as class mates all have huge houses. I felt that my son and my family were already seen as 'below' when he started. Simply by living in a flat a quarter of the size of most people's.

where was this? i've never heard of it!!

WTF. No!!

The state primaries around us do this. They fit it in because of the staggered start of reception children, doing the visits in the afternoons.

I declined the school home visits for all my three dc.
I honestly didn’t give a stuff what the school thought about this

This was a really helpful perspective. Thank you

Yes I remember the first HV. It’s shortly after you come out of hospital and I was so concerned about the room temp thermometer being at 18 degrees and the right bedding in the crib, correct style of mattress, height of mattress, airflow etc etc. I felt quite stressed! I have to say when she came she was just the gentlest, loveliest lady and just said “ what a lucky little baby; it all looks beautiful!” and wasn’t the least bit judgmental. So in the end it was a confidence boosting visit but I do remember it feeling stressful at a busy time. Next baby? Not even sure I got out of my nightie for it 🙊😅

Preschool did a home visit with my daughter I thought it was lovely, my daughter is Sen so thought it was because of that but they said they try and visit every child at home to get to know parents and child better

I know a teacher who had to visit circa 30 kids. It was the best school in the area at the time.

Unless you've been a teacher, you have no idea at all about how awful some children's backgrounds are. It's absolutely safeguarding to be able to have a head's up about a child's living situation. I went to a visit once where there was dog shit left on a filthy lounge carpet where a baby was crawling around. The Mum had no qualms about it casually telling me the poo got picked up when there was too much.

I can't see how anyone could get over stressed about this unless their living situation isn't suitable for a child, and they know that. Just tidy up a little! No one is actually judging mess as such. It does give a really good insight as to how the child might be in school.

Standard where we are and I obviously agree with them.

My school does them and we are an underfunded and understaffed state primary. They are not meant to be intrusive at all- it's about meeting your child in an environment they are at ease in (or should be) and finding out about them. It also gives parents 1:1 time with the HT and yes, it does help the school to make a judgment about safeguarding to help protect children. I would fail to understand anyone not allowing the visit to go ahead unless they had something to hide.

OP given your attitude to it I just don’t know why you didn’t decline??
We had the option and I declined it. I’d already done the settling sessions and open evening/day so I was happy enough.

The friends I know who opted in were people who had particular concerns/questions about their child and wanted the 1-1 time (one friends son is very anxious in new places for example).

I declined and nothing at all was said. More in our class declined than opted in.