Reception Home Visit - felt so awkward😂

[Cheekychiq]

Omg just wanted to quickly vent - just had my child’s teacher/TA round for their reception home visit. I had been extremely nervous about this because although I had consented to it, I was really not keen on having it because I just feel like it’s a massive invasion of privacy - don't get me wrong, I know that them doing home visits serves a fantastic purpose and they get to see your child in a more comfortable and familiar setting and can definitely be a great opportunity for some parents to raise concerns that they might not get the chance to do on the school premises but still - I feel like if I had not consented then you automatically get labelled as that uncooperative parent and it might look like you’ve got something to hide 😳

the visit went well and my child was very pleased to see them and super enthusiastic 😂 but it just felt soooo unnatural to me and I just felt soooo uncomfortable throughout. It’s the first time I’ve had a teacher at my home so maybe that’s why and they were very lovely but still 😂😂😭😭 just curious, has anyone ever declined a school home visit (if it was ever offered at your child/ren’s school?) if yes, did you feel like there was any backlash? Or not? Arrrgh feel like I need to really unwind and destress after this because I noticed the TA checking out the house (she didn’t know I could see her) and her eyes were darting left, right and centre) 🥲

ARRRRRGHHHHH😂 I’m sure I’ll recover …vent complete

Just decline then, it's not a big deal. You don't have to do it, but there's good reason for it.

It's a good way for your child to get to know what their teacher looks like and interact a bit before they also have to deal with the huge overwhelm of starting school, a new building, new children, new routine etc.

Schools that offer this are generally good and have teachers that care about children's wellbeing.

Omg going into my child’s room would be an absolute no

Imagine if I had declined, how would that look?

I think it's an odd crossover between home life and school life. It blurs the boundaries. I'm not sure I think it's a good idea at all.

I know! I only agreed to it because my friend said her visit lasted about 10 mins and I just needed to get over myself. Couldn't believe it when she just started walking towards the stairs with DC all confused about what was happening 🤣 even when I said I'd rather she didnt as the bedrooms were a bit untidy she carried on going!! Had to literally say "no thank you!" quite loudly. Cheeky mare! 😂

It's not really about what you love or hate or being socially awkward or not.

With respect, it's simply not about you at all.

It's about helping children deal with the massive overwhelming step of starting school in the smoothest way possible. School is a massive life change for a 4/5 year old. Anything that eases that transition for the child is a good thing.

Yes, I had this for dd1 16 years ago - freaked me out completely at the time! I honestly can't remember for sure but I think we had a visit for dd2 four years later too. This is rural Devon, I've no idea if it's widespread or not. I believe they still do it now as I teach in a local primary and remember the reception teacher talking in the staff room about finding time for home visits.

It would look a bit weird, but then to be honest, you are being a bit weird about it so...?

I don't think it would look bad.

If it is not legally enforceable, you're allowed to decline.

Not the “no thank you”😂😂😂

Don't be ridiculous. Someone coming into my home is 100% about me.

If they want to make it all about the teacher and dc, they can do that at school.

Or maybe dc and I could go round to the teacher's house?

No shits given when I declined the one for DC2 even after I got increasingly insistent emails and voicemails telling me it was mandatory 😬

My son’s school does this. It was a bit awkward but I understood the purpose. Of course they sell it as wanting to see the child in a comfy space and a chance to raise questions, but it’s obviously a chance for them to see any child who may need extra support.

I thought they would be judging me in my little house crammed with toys when some people’s house in the catchment area would be much grander. Really they will be checking for children living in possibly neglectful households or living in poor conditions. I think it’s a positive thing for the child so extra support can be put in place if needed.

It’s not a big deal! It’s seeing the child in his or her familiar setting, learning a bit about the child and helping the child be familiar with the people from Reception (or nursery)

They don’t give a stuff about your decor or tidiness or whatever. It’s for the benefit of the new starters, and that’s a nice thing, isn’t it?

Sounds hideous. We don't have this in Scotland. Thank goodness.

We're having ours for DC3 later this week. DC1 and 2 absolutely loved theirs and I really think it helped the transition. I'm sure it would be fine to decline though, I know some people who have for work reasons.

It appears to be a "thing" these days. Fortunately my son's school didn't do it.

I have always felt that it is so they can have a nose and see if you are a naice middle class family with books around.

If they want to check if you actually live where you do, they can check the electoral roll. I've actually just updated mine, so it would be bang up to date!

Um no, it's not about you. It's about your child.

It's to ease your child's transition to starting school and to meet their teacher in a safe and familiar space, before they have the big overwhelm of going to a brand new place.

On their first day of school they will be meeting loads of new people and having a whole new routine and new things they have to do. If they have already met their teacher at home and seen mum and teacher talking, then they have an anchor of familiarity with that person.

Honestly, teachers go out of their way to offer this on top of the shit tonne of work they already do - it's not even compulsory - and people complain about it.

If you don't want it then just decline.

We've had people who don't want us to come inside, but when we've explained that we need proof the child lives there, they have been fine with us saying hello on the doorstep and introducing ourselves to their child. It doesn't look bad, we know everyone is different. At the school I work at, the child can't start until we've seen them at their house. Same for mid year transfers. It's the academy policy.

I was a bit about it, as it was the Yr1 teacher and an HLTA (who also did not work in Reception) but they were nice, didn’t stay long, definitely didn’t sweep the house with their eyes or anything and accepted a biscuit I’d put out (so obviously didn’t see my house as a health hazard). I still don’t see what the point was, as DS didn’t meet either of them in an educational capacity for at least a year. But it was nothing to worry about. I could tell they didn’t believe me that DS could already read, so that was a bit awkward

Oh goodness. I guess they then had you down as "that" parent.

But then they'd have you down as "that" parent if they saw something in your house they were judgey about.

Parents (mums) just can't win.

The reception teachers do the home visits during the first couple of weeks of term, before the reception students start. So it's easily resourced. The purpose of it is for the children to meet their new teachers in their own environment where they feel happy and safe. It helps them build a positive relationship with the teacher and also makes them feel more comfortable when they walk into the classroom for the first time.

Of course not.

The issue was, the school did not tell the parents why the reception class teacher was not in school and it was weeks before we established that she was not going to be coming back and that a supply teacher would be taking the reception class for their first two terms.

Not for school but for nursery we did. I'm an ex foster carer, kinship carer and one of my boys is adopted so I've been through massively invasive processes before and had every man and his dog in my house at some point so obviously didn't bother me. They were pleasant visits in the scheme of things 😂

I can understand how intimidating it can be to feel you're being silently judged though.

I’ve done them with children starting nursery
teacher talks to parent/s bout family, who will be dropping off/ collecting, allergies, special toys etc
TA (me) engages with child to get them to talk/ count/ colours and just basic stuff to see what/ how much they know, how their speech it and stuff
certainly don’t judge housing