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Original poster

Reception Home Visit - felt so awkward😂

389 replies

Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:36

Omg just wanted to quickly vent - just had my child’s teacher/TA round for their reception home visit. I had been extremely nervous about this because although I had consented to it, I was really not keen on having it because I just feel like it’s a massive invasion of privacy - don't get me wrong, I know that them doing home visits serves a fantastic purpose and they get to see your child in a more comfortable and familiar setting and can definitely be a great opportunity for some parents to raise concerns that they might not get the chance to do on the school premises but still - I feel like if I had not consented then you automatically get labelled as that uncooperative parent and it might look like you’ve got something to hide 😳

the visit went well and my child was very pleased to see them and super enthusiastic 😂 but it just felt soooo unnatural to me and I just felt soooo uncomfortable throughout. It’s the first time I’ve had a teacher at my home so maybe that’s why and they were very lovely but still 😂😂😭😭 just curious, has anyone ever declined a school home visit (if it was ever offered at your child/ren’s school?) if yes, did you feel like there was any backlash? Or not? Arrrgh feel like I need to really unwind and destress after this because I noticed the TA checking out the house (she didn’t know I could see her) and her eyes were darting left, right and centre) 🥲

ARRRRRGHHHHH😂 I’m sure I’ll recover …vent complete

OP posts:
Maray1967 · 03/09/2024 18:41

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 03/09/2024 15:49

Is it a fancy private school? How on earth do they have the time/resource to go and visit everyone's home individually?

Probably not. Home visits were done for state school entry 20 years ago in Sheffield but not here in Liverpool. Seems to be a very localised thing.

Nottodaythankyou123 · 03/09/2024 18:42

StMarieforme · 03/09/2024 16:23

I visited a school in Harrow and they do this there. Awful imo. I'd have hated it. What's it for? It will mean that they judge the children. Just awful.

Not a dig at you, but I think the posters that can’t understand why this might be useful don’t fully realise the living situation some children are in. I’ve had the (mis)fortune of doing some safeguarding work and it is eye-opening. Unfortunately they can’t tell just from the application who might need a home visit and who doesn’t, so if that’s school policy it’s far easier just to do it for everyone than try and guess which child there could be safeguarding concerns for, which child might need more support, which child would just feel more comfortable meeting the teacher at home.

PonkyPonky · 03/09/2024 18:43

Our school visited all the children at their nurseries or pre-schools. I thought this was quite a nice happy medium as they were in an environment they were comfortable in but it wasn’t invasive. I did wonder what they did with the children who didn’t go to nursery at all though, maybe they got home visits. I wouldn’t like it, I’d be uncomfortable but I do wonder if this is quite a good way to spot neglect or signs of abuse.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General education
Ghostgirl77 · 03/09/2024 18:43

My son’s school did it and the kids loved it. It made my son feel valued and important because his teacher had taken the time to come to his house. I felt a bit awkward but it was only a 15 minute visit.

I think it’s a good idea from a safeguarding point of view though. If there are parents who are really struggling or there are issues at home it’s a way for this to be picked up and signposted to services that can help. I’d rather put up with nosy teachers in my house for 15 mins than an opportunity be missed to help a child being neglected.

Original poster
Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 18:44

babyproblems · 03/09/2024 18:41

I find this so so wierd that teachers come and visit the home. I agree it’s a huge invasion of privacy! And I think it’s pointless. I cannot imagine any issues that a parent couldn’t raise at school or just before. It doesn’t need to be in your home!!! I said this once before on another thread about this and was absolutely flamed so I’m happy to see I’m not alone in thinking this here 😂

You’re absolutely not alone in thinking this. I agree 100% that on a safeguarding perspective these visits would be vital but my post was coming from a totally different angle in terms of preserving the respect for privacy/home life. Like for example, I take a lot of pride in my appearance usually (like hair/makeup etc) but today I was very busy in the morning so didn’t get a chance to shower and my hair wasn’t looking too great and my clothes were probably stained - the house was generally fine but I guess someone who has never met me before might immediately jump to conclusions 😂

OP posts:
Grammarnut · 03/09/2024 18:44

In England. Several GC at school. Have never, never heard of 'home visits' in this way for any of them.

Liv999 · 03/09/2024 18:44

I had never heard of this at all, until I seen another poster a few years ago on MN talking about this too, is it just in the UK this happens? I'm in Ireland and I've never heard of a teacher turning up to your home for any reason

Donewiththisshit · 03/09/2024 18:44

I know a teacher who does these. She works in a deprived area and seeing the child’s home circumstances to understand them better (which also includes any safeguarding concerns) is the purpose. They are human, they do judge no matter what anyone says.

MovingTooFast121 · 03/09/2024 18:46

We had a home visit with DS going into reception last year. It was nice. He had two class teachers and they both came. It gave us an opportunity to have a less formal chat in an environment DS felt relaxed in. And it let them get to know his interests etc. and meant that they had appropriate colouring sheets, books etc. to engage him and make him feel more comfortable when he started the following week.

RobinEllacotStrike · 03/09/2024 18:46

I just said "no thank you"

They aren't compulsory

Original poster
Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 18:46

Donewiththisshit · 03/09/2024 18:44

I know a teacher who does these. She works in a deprived area and seeing the child’s home circumstances to understand them better (which also includes any safeguarding concerns) is the purpose. They are human, they do judge no matter what anyone says.

Yes I think a lot of us sometimes forget that teachers are also human and even though they perhaps try to keep an “open mind” let’s be honest we know they certainly judge 😂

OP posts:
NewName24 · 03/09/2024 18:48

Glassfullofmilk · 03/09/2024 15:38

It has to be said I have never had someone from my DC's come to the house or heard of it either. Was this something that was mentioned to you/put in the T&C's when you applied to the school?

Ha Ha.
You've obviously not been on MN much.

This thread comes up year after year Grin
There's always people saying they've never heard of it, and others saying it happened when their adult dc were starting school.

Fathercrispness · 03/09/2024 18:49

Sorry that you feel awkward. Count yourself incredibly you don’t have a child that has SEN for who seeing his teacher in his home environment is an incredibly important part of the transition.

fetchacloth · 03/09/2024 18:55

I've never heard of home visits as a standard requirement before.
I used to work in secondary and, apart from school attendance visits, other home visits were for a more serious reason where a member of the pastoral team would visit alongside a social worker, but these were rare.

Elphame · 03/09/2024 18:57

Laszlomydarling · 03/09/2024 18:11

This is a ridiculous comparison. As teachers, we have a legal duty to protect and safeguard children.

Parents of those children have no responsibility to safeguard us.

There is no invasion of privacy. No personal questions are asked and certainly there would never be any snooping. Just sit in whichever room we're invited into to chat for 20 minutes or so. Or alternatively a quick introduction on the doorstep.

The vast majority choose the visit as they know it's best for their child to spend as much time as possible with the adult they're going to be left with from next week.

We also must challenge parents who use false addresses to get places in over subscribed schools. Taking school places from children who genuinely live there.

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There is no legal requirement for this so I would be quite within my rights to refuse and refuse I most definitely would!

Of course it is an invasion of privacy. You are presuming you have the right (which you don't) to visit my home. Most people will of course comply, as you will lead them to believe that they have to.

Grammarnut · 03/09/2024 19:01

Former teacher. I have done home visits (though none of my GC's parents have ever had one). I visited children who were English second language speakers i.e. family were recent immigrants. The visit was entirely to assess the home (some were achingly poor) and language skills of child/parents. The Senco also did visits, as far as I remember. But afaik it's not general practice in the UK.

MotherofAllMatriarchs · 03/09/2024 19:03

We had a visit today (state school in London) Not a big deal and I didn’t bother tidying because I’m having a crap week and it’s not like they’re going to report me to social services for failing to hoover the rug (i hope!)

GlitteryFarts · 03/09/2024 19:06

I remember our nursery teacher and teaching assistant come to visit my 2nd eldest when he first started around 9 years ago now.
My eldest had already had her the previous two years so they knew our family well already but it was a new thing the school introduced that year to get to know the kids in their own environment.
They came in and sat talking to him and he proudly told her "Mummy cleaned up lots before you came!"
Our house is pretty neat and tidy anyway but I did the obligatory hoover etc before visitors as you do. He made it sound like we normally lived in a pigsty! They both burst out laughing and took it well and said to him people always clean for visitors its ok. Kids have a way to drop you in it sometimes but they made me feel less awkward in a split second by their reactions.
They aren't there to judge or intrude just to meet your little one somewhere they feel more able to express themselves in a comfortable environment.

ladycarlotta · 03/09/2024 19:07

CaptainMyCaptain · 03/09/2024 15:57

Unless the school provides cover during the Teacher's working hours then they are probably doing it in their own time. Quite a few school in my area do or have done home visits but as a Nursery and Reception teacher I would never do it.

Advocates say the child is more relaxed and likely to chat in their own home but the parents clearly aren't judging by the OP and other similar threads. Nobody is supposed to be snooping round your home though. I refused to do the visits on my own time as I had enough to do.

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The teachers certainly aren't doing it in their own time at my child's school. Reception aren't in for the first week of term - that's blocked out for home visits only. It's then a staggered start for the kids the following week.

Personally I really appreciated the visit (was nervous to have house judged but I really did get the sense they weren't at all bothered and they assured us beforehand that they would never, for eg, go upstairs). It was helpful for my child to meet her teacher and TA one-to-one in her own space. I think it made a gigantic difference to her confidence in starting something so new. I'm surprised so many posters are saying they've never heard of this.

Paisleydad · 03/09/2024 19:07

"my child was very pleased to see them and super enthusiastic 😂"

Says it all for me.

Child gets to meet important people in their lives on their own territory. Great.

TA doing a rekkie. Of course (as an ex SW, I can tell you that home visits are absolutely invaluable). It's not about being nosey or making judgements.

CaptainMyCaptain · 03/09/2024 19:09

ladycarlotta · 03/09/2024 19:07

The teachers certainly aren't doing it in their own time at my child's school. Reception aren't in for the first week of term - that's blocked out for home visits only. It's then a staggered start for the kids the following week.

Personally I really appreciated the visit (was nervous to have house judged but I really did get the sense they weren't at all bothered and they assured us beforehand that they would never, for eg, go upstairs). It was helpful for my child to meet her teacher and TA one-to-one in her own space. I think it made a gigantic difference to her confidence in starting something so new. I'm surprised so many posters are saying they've never heard of this.

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I wasn't offered any paid time to do visits. I think there would have been a lot of hostility from parents to having to wait 2 more weeks to start school. I didn't feel it was any disadvantage.

SussexLass87 · 03/09/2024 19:12

I used to be a Reception teacher and persuaded my school to cancel them, in huge part because of what you've written OP.

I had to go along with it the first year, "because that's what we do", but it was just awful.

The parents seemed so lovely, and so stressed. Which wasn't a great start to our relationship. My school also wanted us to only stay for 10 minutes, which isn't enough time for a proper conversation.

It also took up 3 days, when I could have been doing any of the millions of jobs teachers have in September.

I replaced them with (optional!) 15 minute chat or phone call in the school at the start of the term...with a huge emphasis on optional. Of course, any child with additional needs we made sure to make the chat longer.

But I hear you...now I'm a parent I'm so glad my child's school doesn't do them!

Onelifeonly · 03/09/2024 19:25

Where I live it's common and considered best practice. The focus is on getting to know the child in a situation the child feels comfortable in. Nearly 20 years ago both my children had a home visit but it was for the nursery attached to their school. I don't know if children only joining the school in reception had one. It didn't bother me, though I'd already been a teacher for many years at that point.

The staff aren't there to judge but obviously if circumstances aren't great, they will notice - undue degree of mess, no toys, abusive / rude behaviour from parents are the sort of things they might comment on afterwards. Some people aren't in at the given appointment time which wastes staff time.

ladycarlotta · 03/09/2024 19:29

CaptainMyCaptain · 03/09/2024 19:09

I wasn't offered any paid time to do visits. I think there would have been a lot of hostility from parents to having to wait 2 more weeks to start school. I didn't feel it was any disadvantage.

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OK?

You didn't but that's literally what they do at lots of schools. Reception starts later and part time.

mrsed1987 · 03/09/2024 19:32

We had one last year. It was fine but I didn't understand the point really. They just asked us if he could use the toilet, do buttons and use cutlery and what he was interested in....could have easily told them that on the phone or wrote it on any of the forms they sent out.