Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Reception Home Visit - felt so awkward😂

389 replies

Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:36

Omg just wanted to quickly vent - just had my child’s teacher/TA round for their reception home visit. I had been extremely nervous about this because although I had consented to it, I was really not keen on having it because I just feel like it’s a massive invasion of privacy - don't get me wrong, I know that them doing home visits serves a fantastic purpose and they get to see your child in a more comfortable and familiar setting and can definitely be a great opportunity for some parents to raise concerns that they might not get the chance to do on the school premises but still - I feel like if I had not consented then you automatically get labelled as that uncooperative parent and it might look like you’ve got something to hide 😳

the visit went well and my child was very pleased to see them and super enthusiastic 😂 but it just felt soooo unnatural to me and I just felt soooo uncomfortable throughout. It’s the first time I’ve had a teacher at my home so maybe that’s why and they were very lovely but still 😂😂😭😭 just curious, has anyone ever declined a school home visit (if it was ever offered at your child/ren’s school?) if yes, did you feel like there was any backlash? Or not? Arrrgh feel like I need to really unwind and destress after this because I noticed the TA checking out the house (she didn’t know I could see her) and her eyes were darting left, right and centre) 🥲

ARRRRRGHHHHH😂 I’m sure I’ll recover …vent complete

OP posts:
Littleme2023 · 03/09/2024 18:25

I work in EYFS and have been on many home visits. You’d be amazed how many kids, even years later will still be gushing and so excited about the time we came to their house 🥰

Do you remember when you saw my dog Miss?
Do you remember when I showed you my Spider-Man toy Miss?
I remember you coming and talking with my mummy at my house Miss!

We are there to check the child actually lives there - for example when people use nans address for catchment areas etc.

It gives a chance for parents to address any concerns privately. Drop off/pick up time can be hectic and is not the ideal time for a proper conversation for either party.

We are there to meet the child and parent in their home environment and yes we are there to see that everything it is ok. We have a duty to be aware of our children in our cares home circumstances. Some people live in some not so nice conditions and that can perhaps explain some behaviour and help us assess what support the child and family may need. 99% of home visits we leave with no concerns.

We’re not there to judge whether you’ve got washing drying in the living room or a plate out with crumbs from a snack, that there’s toys on the floor or that there’s washing up in the sink. We don’t care, that’s perfectly normal. But if the house is dirty, unsafe, overcrowded etc those are things which can be vital for us to know.

We do have people decline - working, can’t find a mutually convenient time, we’ve had a mum about to go into labour any day who just said she wasn’t up to it - all fine.

I’ve also been on the receiving end of home visits which I’ve not massively enjoyed but I understand the value of them. When asked if I need to let them know anything, I had to tell them that unfortunately my child had learned how to give the middle finger thanks to an older sibling so if someone told them she did it, she probably did. Embarrassing but they needed to be warned. I actually work with those colleagues now and they tell me they thought it was hilarious and at least I was honest 🙈🤷🏻‍♀️

Also two of us go so that teacher can speak to parent/carer and as a TA I would usually play with the child to distract a little bit. Usually get the child to do a little drawing or read a story.

MillshakePickle · 03/09/2024 18:25

We had a home visit for dc1 and I was mortified but felt we couldn't turn it down. We were in the middle of renovations and had missing/no skirting boards, patched walls, an incomplete kitchen and just boxes everywhere but our massive TV was set up and fully on display for all to see. We had statted to put the living room back to gether the day before but didnt manage tonsort it enough. I felt very judged.

Dc1 was very happy showing his teachers the dangerous tools and paints daddy has.

MummyInTheNecropolis · 03/09/2024 18:25

I spent all of last week doing home visits for my reception class, it was lovely to see them in their own environments and to be able to get to know the parents a bit and really start to build a relationship. My last school didn’t offer home visits and we always had lots of tears on the first day. My new class had their first morning in school today and we didn’t have a single tear, they all ran in happily. I know there may be lots of other reasons for this, and it probably isn’t only down to the home visits but I did find it interesting. I was also able to recognise all of the parents at pick up time and send the children straight out to them, at my last school it took me ages to learn which child belonged to which parent so pick up time took way longer!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General education
Original poster
Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 18:25

Haffdonga · 03/09/2024 18:24

Think of it from the child's POV. Some dc haven't been to nursery or ever been looked after by any adult outside their own home. Some are only used only to adults who speak their home language. Some are nervous of strangers, shy or anxious in new situations.
If they've already met the nice smiley friendly teacher in their own home where it's all safe and familiar, and their parent behaves happy and pleased to see this new person, then they are much more likely to feel confident and secure when they start school to see that familiar friendly face.
Of course the teacher is getting a quick useful window into the dc's home life but believe me, the things dc innocently tell their teachers about what goes on at home will make many parents squirm!

Yeah this is definitely a very good point. Yes I’m always careful about what I discuss around my kid because they always tend to remember what you discussed at the most inconvenient time 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 18:27

MillshakePickle · 03/09/2024 18:25

We had a home visit for dc1 and I was mortified but felt we couldn't turn it down. We were in the middle of renovations and had missing/no skirting boards, patched walls, an incomplete kitchen and just boxes everywhere but our massive TV was set up and fully on display for all to see. We had statted to put the living room back to gether the day before but didnt manage tonsort it enough. I felt very judged.

Dc1 was very happy showing his teachers the dangerous tools and paints daddy has.

Wow😂😂😂😂

OP posts:
MummyInTheNecropolis · 03/09/2024 18:27

I must add that neither me or my TA have ever asked to see a child’s bedroom or looked around the house! We try our best not to be intrusive.

SometimeSomewhere · 03/09/2024 18:27

My oldest is 21 and we had a home visit when he started reception so it's been going on for a while in some places at least. We had one with our youngest 5 years later too.

The visits were fine but I don't think we got anything beneficial out of it. We could have met the teacher and chatted at school.

One of my kids was insistent that they showed the teachers their bedroom. The two teachers glanced at each other awkwardly and said they could but obviously I have to go to. Not that I wouldn't have accompanied them anyway, but to have me, my child and two teachers go upstairs and stand in my child's bedroom was a bit strange. 🤣

Original poster
Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 18:28

SometimeSomewhere · 03/09/2024 18:27

My oldest is 21 and we had a home visit when he started reception so it's been going on for a while in some places at least. We had one with our youngest 5 years later too.

The visits were fine but I don't think we got anything beneficial out of it. We could have met the teacher and chatted at school.

One of my kids was insistent that they showed the teachers their bedroom. The two teachers glanced at each other awkwardly and said they could but obviously I have to go to. Not that I wouldn't have accompanied them anyway, but to have me, my child and two teachers go upstairs and stand in my child's bedroom was a bit strange. 🤣

The going to the child’s bedroom thing is just too much 😂 like, you’re already in my house (reluctantly) and now you want to go upstairs no way

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 03/09/2024 18:29

Yeah I don't think if like that though certainly would make me clean my house a lot

whiskersonkittenss · 03/09/2024 18:29

op does your child start a school with the initials HF as ours was today too.

Original poster
Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 18:30

whiskersonkittenss · 03/09/2024 18:29

op does your child start a school with the initials HF as ours was today too.

No🥰

OP posts:
Demonhunter · 03/09/2024 18:31

MillshakePickle · 03/09/2024 18:25

We had a home visit for dc1 and I was mortified but felt we couldn't turn it down. We were in the middle of renovations and had missing/no skirting boards, patched walls, an incomplete kitchen and just boxes everywhere but our massive TV was set up and fully on display for all to see. We had statted to put the living room back to gether the day before but didnt manage tonsort it enough. I felt very judged.

Dc1 was very happy showing his teachers the dangerous tools and paints daddy has.

😂😂😂 kids never miss a trick to make you die a little inside just at the right time don't they 🤣

Original poster
Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 18:33

Littleme2023 · 03/09/2024 18:25

I work in EYFS and have been on many home visits. You’d be amazed how many kids, even years later will still be gushing and so excited about the time we came to their house 🥰

Do you remember when you saw my dog Miss?
Do you remember when I showed you my Spider-Man toy Miss?
I remember you coming and talking with my mummy at my house Miss!

We are there to check the child actually lives there - for example when people use nans address for catchment areas etc.

It gives a chance for parents to address any concerns privately. Drop off/pick up time can be hectic and is not the ideal time for a proper conversation for either party.

We are there to meet the child and parent in their home environment and yes we are there to see that everything it is ok. We have a duty to be aware of our children in our cares home circumstances. Some people live in some not so nice conditions and that can perhaps explain some behaviour and help us assess what support the child and family may need. 99% of home visits we leave with no concerns.

We’re not there to judge whether you’ve got washing drying in the living room or a plate out with crumbs from a snack, that there’s toys on the floor or that there’s washing up in the sink. We don’t care, that’s perfectly normal. But if the house is dirty, unsafe, overcrowded etc those are things which can be vital for us to know.

We do have people decline - working, can’t find a mutually convenient time, we’ve had a mum about to go into labour any day who just said she wasn’t up to it - all fine.

I’ve also been on the receiving end of home visits which I’ve not massively enjoyed but I understand the value of them. When asked if I need to let them know anything, I had to tell them that unfortunately my child had learned how to give the middle finger thanks to an older sibling so if someone told them she did it, she probably did. Embarrassing but they needed to be warned. I actually work with those colleagues now and they tell me they thought it was hilarious and at least I was honest 🙈🤷🏻‍♀️

Also two of us go so that teacher can speak to parent/carer and as a TA I would usually play with the child to distract a little bit. Usually get the child to do a little drawing or read a story.

Edited

The TA just sat and was staring around whilst the teacher asked the usual questions squirms

OP posts:
Florafleur · 03/09/2024 18:33

Yes, I've carried them out.

The most notable was the single mum who had been out clubbing the previous night. She had forgotten our appointment and was asleep on the sofa, full ‘last night’ make-up and clothing.
Her young brother opened the door and let me in, without telling me. I'm not sure who was the most embarrassed.

viques · 03/09/2024 18:33

Try doing it from the other side of the fence. It is also extremely embarrassing to be the visiting teacher. Drinking tea you don’t want but it would be rude to refuse, hoping you don’t need the loo in case they think you are having a crafty sneak……

HundredMilesAnHour · 03/09/2024 18:34

Feelingstrange2 · 03/09/2024 15:50

We had this when my DD went into reception...24 years ago! Interestly though....not when my son went 2 years later.

I've always felt suspicious since!

Back in the 1980s(!), my mother worked as a 'home liaison teacher'. This meant she taught infants part time and visited homes part time. This was at a primary school in the North West in a predominantly ethnic area. She actually learnt some Urdu to help in her role and she used to bring back all sorts of interesting ethnic food she was gifted by grateful parents.

Littleme2023 · 03/09/2024 18:34

Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 18:33

The TA just sat and was staring around whilst the teacher asked the usual questions squirms

Show quote history

That’s a bit rubbish, I usually take in the role of children’s entertainer while my teacher goes through a form with the parent.

I meant to say as well that we’re not allowed to do home visits alone, we always go in pairs because of our lone working policy.

lemonyellows · 03/09/2024 18:36

They don't do home visits here. They visit the children at their pre-school setting.

Depressedbarbie · 03/09/2024 18:37

supportpangolin · 03/09/2024 17:04

Of course not.

The issue was, the school did not tell the parents why the reception class teacher was not in school and it was weeks before we established that she was not going to be coming back and that a supply teacher would be taking the reception class for their first two terms.

Show quote history

Far from ideal. However, the school probably isn't know. They are not allowed to give out the teacher's personal information e.g. that theybare off sick. They may have self certified, then got 2 weeks from the doctor. The teacher is an employee - there's nothing they can do. Also, from a comms perspective, saying that they don't khow what the arrangements will be worse - much better to give parents certainty once they have it..

SometimeSomewhere · 03/09/2024 18:39

The going to the child’s bedroom thing is just too much 😂 like, you’re already in my house (reluctantly) and now you want to go upstairs no way

I can only blame my child for that. 😬 Although one of teachers was having a good nose around and commented on other bedrooms and an office as we all traipsed to my child's bedroom

Also, when they arrived my child was watching a film that was classed as PG rating and one of the teachers sort of questioned its suitability for my child. That annoyed me for ages afterwards. 🤣

Mycatisbetterthanyourcat · 03/09/2024 18:40

We have them here, all the schools do it. I didn't particularly mind but it was a pain in the arse cleaning all morning and trying to make sure the house didn't smell of cat all for the sake of 10 minutes...

EerieSilence · 03/09/2024 18:40

Wow! What's next? Employer doing a home visit to see if your home environment is suitable and stimulating so you can work better? I find this whole idea ridiculous.

Original poster
Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 18:41

SometimeSomewhere · 03/09/2024 18:39

The going to the child’s bedroom thing is just too much 😂 like, you’re already in my house (reluctantly) and now you want to go upstairs no way

I can only blame my child for that. 😬 Although one of teachers was having a good nose around and commented on other bedrooms and an office as we all traipsed to my child's bedroom

Also, when they arrived my child was watching a film that was classed as PG rating and one of the teachers sort of questioned its suitability for my child. That annoyed me for ages afterwards. 🤣

oh gosh🥲🥲 how were you feeling at that time

OP posts:
babyproblems · 03/09/2024 18:41

I find this so so wierd that teachers come and visit the home. I agree it’s a huge invasion of privacy! And I think it’s pointless. I cannot imagine any issues that a parent couldn’t raise at school or just before. It doesn’t need to be in your home!!! I said this once before on another thread about this and was absolutely flamed so I’m happy to see I’m not alone in thinking this here 😂

Original poster
Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 18:41

EerieSilence · 03/09/2024 18:40

Wow! What's next? Employer doing a home visit to see if your home environment is suitable and stimulating so you can work better? I find this whole idea ridiculous.

Exactly!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread