Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Reception Home Visit - felt so awkward😂

389 replies

Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:36

Omg just wanted to quickly vent - just had my child’s teacher/TA round for their reception home visit. I had been extremely nervous about this because although I had consented to it, I was really not keen on having it because I just feel like it’s a massive invasion of privacy - don't get me wrong, I know that them doing home visits serves a fantastic purpose and they get to see your child in a more comfortable and familiar setting and can definitely be a great opportunity for some parents to raise concerns that they might not get the chance to do on the school premises but still - I feel like if I had not consented then you automatically get labelled as that uncooperative parent and it might look like you’ve got something to hide 😳

the visit went well and my child was very pleased to see them and super enthusiastic 😂 but it just felt soooo unnatural to me and I just felt soooo uncomfortable throughout. It’s the first time I’ve had a teacher at my home so maybe that’s why and they were very lovely but still 😂😂😭😭 just curious, has anyone ever declined a school home visit (if it was ever offered at your child/ren’s school?) if yes, did you feel like there was any backlash? Or not? Arrrgh feel like I need to really unwind and destress after this because I noticed the TA checking out the house (she didn’t know I could see her) and her eyes were darting left, right and centre) 🥲

ARRRRRGHHHHH😂 I’m sure I’ll recover …vent complete

OP posts:
Glassfullofmilk · 03/09/2024 15:38

It has to be said I have never had someone from my DC's come to the house or heard of it either. Was this something that was mentioned to you/put in the T&C's when you applied to the school?

Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:40

Glassfullofmilk · 03/09/2024 15:38

It has to be said I have never had someone from my DC's come to the house or heard of it either. Was this something that was mentioned to you/put in the T&C's when you applied to the school?

Yes when I went to the initial tour of the school they mentioned something about “doing home visits” and I remember thinking to myself “don’t tell me they mean they’ll be actually coming to my home”😂😂

OP posts:
fizzymizzy · 03/09/2024 15:41

I don't know if it's because I'm in Scotland or just it's more recent than my DC early school days but I have never heard of this.

I would have declined bc my DC always struggled with having people in the house.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

TeenagersAngst · 03/09/2024 15:43

Yes, we had this for both. It didn't bother me in the slightest but if you don't like people coming into your home who you don't know or you're socially anxious, I can understand why it would.

Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:45

TeenagersAngst · 03/09/2024 15:43

Yes, we had this for both. It didn't bother me in the slightest but if you don't like people coming into your home who you don't know or you're socially anxious, I can understand why it would.

Edited

Hmmm, I think for me it’s more about people I don’t know coming to my home. And also I just feel like everything we discussed could have been done at school 🤔 like, a more neutral setting 😭

OP posts:
Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:45

fizzymizzy · 03/09/2024 15:41

I don't know if it's because I'm in Scotland or just it's more recent than my DC early school days but I have never heard of this.

I would have declined bc my DC always struggled with having people in the house.

Hmmmm, yeah I’d never heard of it before either 🤔

OP posts:
Glassfullofmilk · 03/09/2024 15:46

Well i suppose they thought you had signed up to but seems a bit over the top to me. Our DC had to do exams and assessments and we all had to go in to the school so they could check us out as a family but i wouldn't have expected the head of admissions or the bursar at the front door

Comefromaway · 03/09/2024 15:47

My children's school didn't do it but I would have declined because at the time dh worked from home (before WFH was a thing) and it wasn't appropriate to have people round during his working hours.

Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:48

Glassfullofmilk · 03/09/2024 15:46

Well i suppose they thought you had signed up to but seems a bit over the top to me. Our DC had to do exams and assessments and we all had to go in to the school so they could check us out as a family but i wouldn't have expected the head of admissions or the bursar at the front door

Yeah deffo over the top. I just don’t see the need…

OP posts:
TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 03/09/2024 15:49

Is it a fancy private school? How on earth do they have the time/resource to go and visit everyone's home individually?

FluffMagnet · 03/09/2024 15:50

I didn't have it with school but did have it with nursery. I agree it feels very invasive as they are coming to "get to know" you, your child and your family. Let's face it, everyone makes judgments from your home, and a lot of assumptions can be made from the type of house, pictures, art, toys, books (or lack of), neighbourhood etc. I didn't like the midwives and HVs dropping by either.

Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:50

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 03/09/2024 15:49

Is it a fancy private school? How on earth do they have the time/resource to go and visit everyone's home individually?

I have no idea how they’re making it work but perhaps it’s easier because it’s just reception?

OP posts:
Feelingstrange2 · 03/09/2024 15:50

We had this when my DD went into reception...24 years ago! Interestly though....not when my son went 2 years later.

I've always felt suspicious since!

Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:51

FluffMagnet · 03/09/2024 15:50

I didn't have it with school but did have it with nursery. I agree it feels very invasive as they are coming to "get to know" you, your child and your family. Let's face it, everyone makes judgments from your home, and a lot of assumptions can be made from the type of house, pictures, art, toys, books (or lack of), neighbourhood etc. I didn't like the midwives and HVs dropping by either.

Omg yesss this!! They 100% make judgement whether it’s intentional or not. It’s just part of being human I think. They were lovely don’t get me wrong but I just wanted the visit to be done 😂😂

OP posts:
GigiAnnna · 03/09/2024 15:52

I've got 4 kids that have been to various different schools over the years and only one did a home visit. It was a school nursery when my son was 3. I didn't see the point in it. They were there 5 mins and asked a few questions before leaving. It seemed a sneaky way to gauge a child's home situation. No other school I've been involved in did this.

Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:52

Feelingstrange2 · 03/09/2024 15:50

We had this when my DD went into reception...24 years ago! Interestly though....not when my son went 2 years later.

I've always felt suspicious since!

Wow they did this 24 years ago? 🤔

OP posts:
Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:54

GigiAnnna · 03/09/2024 15:52

I've got 4 kids that have been to various different schools over the years and only one did a home visit. It was a school nursery when my son was 3. I didn't see the point in it. They were there 5 mins and asked a few questions before leaving. It seemed a sneaky way to gauge a child's home situation. No other school I've been involved in did this.

In my opinion, I think it’s a way to get a bit of a sneak peak into your home life. Because I don’t personally see how that 10-15mins they spent in my living room will help assess my child for this new term…

OP posts:
FrenchandSaunders · 03/09/2024 15:55

My DDs are 23 now and we had a home visit before starting reception (London).

FluffMagnet · 03/09/2024 15:55

Also to say two of my friends had this with their boys starting reception (state, 2 form entry) last year. One didn't mind, but her house is always immaculate and she works very part time so was already free all day. The other did mind - her house is more like mine (very much "lived in" 😂) and she and her DH work full time in very demanding jobs, so it impinged on their work too.

Cryingatthegym · 03/09/2024 15:56

I've never had one of these but have heard of them. I always assumed they were to make sure you actually live at the address you've used to make the school application? But then I live in an area where all the schools are very over subscribed so perhaps I'm paranoid!

CaptainMyCaptain · 03/09/2024 15:57

Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:50

I have no idea how they’re making it work but perhaps it’s easier because it’s just reception?

Unless the school provides cover during the Teacher's working hours then they are probably doing it in their own time. Quite a few school in my area do or have done home visits but as a Nursery and Reception teacher I would never do it.

Advocates say the child is more relaxed and likely to chat in their own home but the parents clearly aren't judging by the OP and other similar threads. Nobody is supposed to be snooping round your home though. I refused to do the visits on my own time as I had enough to do.

Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:57

FluffMagnet · 03/09/2024 15:55

Also to say two of my friends had this with their boys starting reception (state, 2 form entry) last year. One didn't mind, but her house is always immaculate and she works very part time so was already free all day. The other did mind - her house is more like mine (very much "lived in" 😂) and she and her DH work full time in very demanding jobs, so it impinged on their work too.

I think perhaps deep down I’m a bit too hard on myself and felt like they were coming to judge the house😂😂 I’m usually quite home-conscious because I’ve worked in childrens safeguarding before so you just automatically start overthinking 🥲

OP posts:
Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:58

Cryingatthegym · 03/09/2024 15:56

I've never had one of these but have heard of them. I always assumed they were to make sure you actually live at the address you've used to make the school application? But then I live in an area where all the schools are very over subscribed so perhaps I'm paranoid!

Hmmm yeah I heard something like this too about postcode🤔

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 03/09/2024 15:58

Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:57

I think perhaps deep down I’m a bit too hard on myself and felt like they were coming to judge the house😂😂 I’m usually quite home-conscious because I’ve worked in childrens safeguarding before so you just automatically start overthinking 🥲

I'm sure that wasn't the purpose.

Feelingstrange2 · 03/09/2024 15:58

Cheekychiq · 03/09/2024 15:52

Wow they did this 24 years ago? 🤔

Yep! For my first born.

They never came for my second (same school, two years later).

They knew me then of course....but that just adds to the suspicion

Swipe left for the next trending thread