How old were you when you stopped having sex.

[whatisforteamum]

I'm 57 and realised that I barely ever have sex now
Relationship issues and dh has had ED since a heart attack does have Viagra though.
I don't have much drive really tbh.
How old where you when you stopped having sex?

Pretty much what I wanted to say really .... Me and DH are both mid to late 50s and honestly we did it four to seven times a week all throughout our 20s, probably three to four times a week in our 30s, and once or twice a week in our 40s.

By our early to mid 50s (we're the same age!) we didn't really fancy it as much and did it last at around 52-53 I think...Luckily just like we both wanted children at the same time (after originally not wanting them when we first met 8 years earlier,) we both went off sex at the same time as well.

Just can't be bothered. No libido at all. Either one of us.

Really did enjoy it at the time. (Probably would have struggled to be with a partner who didn't want to do it.) But now I'm really, totally not arsed. I am baffled that some people say they're still doing it in their 70s and 80s. I just couldn't think of anything worse than having sex now in my mid to late 50s. Let alone 70s and 80s! 😬 Do people really shag at that age?!

Each to their own.

Some people say 'have you tried HRT?; I assume they're saying that because it means you fancy sex again? But I don't want to be on HRT thanks. l sailed through my menopause without incident, and have no desire to pump chemicals into my body, just so I can have a wet fanny.

Or sulk !

@doublec I've been usuing vagifem for more than a year with no noticable improvement,

My neighbours middle aged female dentist, told her that she takes half of a viagra tablet to get her in the mood for good sex.

I'm mid fifties, dh is early sixties. I've been in menopause just over a year and, weirdly, my sex drive has increased, it actually went through the roof at one point, it was all I could think about. I say weirdly, as for many years I'd not had much interest in sex (all throughout peri) and dh had practically given up initiating. Sometimes I forced myself for his sake but I didn't enjoy it, it felt like a chore and I actually started to feel as if I was no longer attracted to him. I really thought that was it for me but then menopause hit and I suddenly became interested again, I even started to fancy him again, something I thought I'd never do as, during a serous bout of mental illness, he nearly accidentally killed me and I kept having flashbacks. It really put me off him. Unfortunately, dh has been very ill both physically and mentally over the past few years and now has no interest in sex at all. He's tried on a couple of occasions with no success and I can tell he's not bothered either way. Ironic really, as I now know how he must have felt previously when I went off it. Leaving him and vice versa isn't an option as he's very ill and I'm his full time carer and we do still love each other.

42, by choice, I hated my husband, and was scared of becoming pregnant again. I'm now 62 and not long divorced, never regretted my decision to stop, but regretted ever being involved with Ex-h apart from the DCs of course, and regretted waiting so long for divorce. I would never want another sexual relationship.

Nowhere near the age group you've mentioned but to answer your question the answer is a big yes

It wasn't meant to be a sad thread.
I used to have a huge interest in sex and wondered how older people felt.
Tbh I have more free time now and do think of all the effort I went to to get sex.
I'm still slim ,I exercise etc but no sex drive.
Meno put paid to that.

Was 45 when split from my ex husband couldn’t be bothered with the hassle of everything and meeting new man again, miss the hugs and kisses ( but not extra baggage) but few years before split it came at a high price so instead love hugging family and friends and the pets 2 cats and a dog, so has been over 15 years now . Forgot to put length without in so had to edit.

Haven’t had it since I was 41 & late forties now. Can do it better myself so I don’t need a man & haven’t got headspace for one anyway

Early 50s. Would love sex but can't find anyone to do it with since I split from DS's Dad. I have resigned myself to it. Sad to think I'll never have sex again though.

I had sex last year (actually January this year too) at age 52 but was in a relationship then for a year with this man and sorry to say, there wasn’t much chemistry on my part and sex with him wasn’t good.

About 2-3 months ago I dated a man for a couple of months who’s 60. He wanted but didn’t get sex on the first date. There was definitely chemistry but long term I’m not sure how it would have worked. He’d had one very long (18 years) relationship but never married, looked good for his age and was confident but a bit cocky. It’s interesting as he’s not tall (average height) and usually in the past I’ve gone for taller or tall men.

You can get sex if that’s all you want through sites like Adult Friend Finder. My best friend did this for a while and is now living with a man (they met up and then bubbled over covid). Turns out he did actually want a partner and less of the AFF casual sex stuff. It’s good for her and him because at least they know they’re compatible in bed.

'Some people say 'have you tried HRT?; I assume they're saying that because it means you fancy sex again? But I don't want to be on HRT thanks. l sailed through my menopause without incident, and have no desire to pump chemicals into my body, just so I can have a wet fanny.'

I doubt women 'pump chemicals into their body to have a wet fanny'. There are many well documented benefits of hrt and of course being able to have a healthy physical relationship is one of them. Each to their own of course and if both parties choose a sexless relationship, fine.

Sadly it isn't usually a mutual decision and that is when relationships breakdown when the one who has had a sexless relationship foisted on them looks elsewhere.

I haven't stopped yet and I don't think we will for quite some time.
I'm 55, DH is 67 and we're both still very keen, on average a couple of times a week.

I agree.i hope I'll have sex again.its not just for the young

It's actually good for you.dont pathologist people who want sex either

Haven't stopped at 55, but almost through menopause (I think - had a surprise peroid last month, after a good 6 months without),and in the last year libido, and also sensation, has disappeared. Just like that.

Am so very sorry to read this. Have you asked for a referral to a gynaecologist? There are other options available and it might be you need more specialist intervention. If atrophy isn't treated, it can become untreatable. (I know someone who this happened to).

when I was 41. Combination of peri menopause and antidepressants dried up what was left of my sex drive.

it wasn’t high to begin with - only really wanted to have sex when ttc

It's really not bragging and it IS answering the question. The question presupposes sex always stops. That's not true - for some it does, for many it just slows down. So it is quite right that there is a wide range of responses.

33 - still going (just pregnant in fact!). But I hope I'm sh*gging until I die!!

With someone else?
😉😁😁

😂

Why isn't more done about it? I have tried so many routes to get help but nothing works and I can't have HRT as my cancer was estrogen fed.
I am sorry for your circumstances and hashtag me too 💐