Page 16 | How old were you when you stopped having sex.

whatisforteamum · 2024-08-30T07:51:48+00:00

I'm 57 and realised that I barely ever have sex now Relationship issues and dh has had ED since a heart attack does have Viagra though. I don't have much drive really tbh. How old where you when you stopped having sex?

BunnyLake · 31/08/2024 21:20

ElectricLegs · 31/08/2024 20:55

Still at it in mid-60s, but down to once a week. I love just snuggling up together in bed too. So does DP. We don't have much, but we do have each other.

I feel sad when people say that they are not even getting any hugs.

It’s only sad if you want sex or hugs and are not getting them. I don’t want sex and I’m single so no hugs but I don’t miss either.

Anda001 · 31/08/2024 21:21

I was 48 when my husband got cancer and sex just sorting of dropped off. Even now the cancer is managed we both don't want to have sex. I'm 56 now and to be frank I'm quite happy with a cup of tea in bed, with my husband, while watching late TV.

Plus since I went into the menopause I don't even masturbate now, can't be bothered really.

Zigzagga · 31/08/2024 21:23

Cerealkiller4U · 30/08/2024 11:42

I had no sex drive from the age of 32-44. But then it went crazy. Like 3 times a day crazy and still is

That's so fascinating - do you have any idea why it went away and why it came back?

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 31/08/2024 21:23

sunnyandrainy · 31/08/2024 20:48

It is interesting people’s perspectives on libido and just growing out of it. In my experience there is no such thing as growing out of it or losing interest. Just not the right person. I’ve done years of celibacy and thought I’d lost all sex drive and didn’t care. Now at age 45, my partner (of 3 years ) and I have sex sooooo much, a couple of times a day on the weekends and once a day in the week when we are together. I thought I’d resigned myself to celibacy. But actually I just wasn’t with my right person.

But you are 45.

Most people who have gone off it are post menopausal.

BunnyLake · 31/08/2024 21:23

sunnyandrainy · 31/08/2024 20:48

It is interesting people’s perspectives on libido and just growing out of it. In my experience there is no such thing as growing out of it or losing interest. Just not the right person. I’ve done years of celibacy and thought I’d lost all sex drive and didn’t care. Now at age 45, my partner (of 3 years ) and I have sex sooooo much, a couple of times a day on the weekends and once a day in the week when we are together. I thought I’d resigned myself to celibacy. But actually I just wasn’t with my right person.

Maybe that’s the difference. You had resigned yourself to celibacy but someone like me, who chooses celibacy, can be very happy with that choice. I don’t think I’d ever want to go back to having a sex life even though I’ve had some great sex in the past.

Mt61 · 31/08/2024 21:26

SlashBeef · 30/08/2024 12:19

33 and I would happily never do it again. My medication saved my life but unfortunately killed off my libido. I think the last time was a few months ago and about a year before that time.

What meds if you don’t mind me asking?

mummyhat · 31/08/2024 21:26

This thread is interesting and the opposite of depressing, for me. It’s made me feel much less abnormal for being effectively, asexual.

Thanks for starting it op. To answer your qu. I was about 43; before that it had been very seldom following birth of 2nd DC aged 36.

JoyousPinkPeer · 31/08/2024 21:27

Mebebecat · 30/08/2024 10:34

This thread is brilliant! So many people try and pathologise people in their 50s 60s 70s not wanting sex. It's a perfectly natural stage of life for many if not most people. And nothing is wrong with that!
Good for you all you out and proud sex free people!

And good for you lot who are still 'at it' and enjoying it. Long may it continue!

Mt61 · 31/08/2024 21:28

mummyhat · 31/08/2024 21:26

This thread is interesting and the opposite of depressing, for me. It’s made me feel much less abnormal for being effectively, asexual.

Thanks for starting it op. To answer your qu. I was about 43; before that it had been very seldom following birth of 2nd DC aged 36.

It certainly is, much more interesting than politics 🤣

Yoonimum · 31/08/2024 21:28

Misunderstoodagain · 30/08/2024 13:19

This has been really eye opening. I'm 38 and love sex and frequently have sex with my husband (-4-5 times a week). The thought that could change in the next 10 years really upsets me 😕😔
I imagine still getting a feeling in my 80s 🤣🤣

You might...I know my parents had sex into their very late 70s because at the time my mum overshared about the anatomical improvement her pelvic floor surgery brought! But both myself and DH have found libido has ebbed away over the last 10 years. We are mid 60s and very occasionally have sex on holiday although not this year so maybe that's it! I'm just pleased we are a 'matching pair' in terms of libido and both very tactile and affectionate in a non-sexual way.

Itstimetoquit · 31/08/2024 21:31

Haha I love this thread,after being married for 20 years (he cheated) then a 15 year relationship (he also cheated)I've been single 3 years so 53 the last time! Now I did like a bit of w*lly every now and again...but im not overly fond of what it's attached to ! X

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 31/08/2024 21:43

I understand that not everyone feels like sex at every (or any) stage in life, but it's simply not true that women's desire and appetite for sex and simple human connection evaporates at the menopause

But it is true for a lot of the women on this thread.

Dymaxion · 31/08/2024 21:48

About 12 years ago, I was up for it but DH made some really unnecessary and derogatory comments about my body, which rather killed the moment for me, add in my burgeoning weight and his ill health and the fact that we haven't slept in the same room for 14 years and the opportunity simply doesn't arise. Which is a shame because I really enjoyed sex and being intimate. I think if we tried now, I might inadvertently kill him !

Wellretired · 31/08/2024 21:52

I'm 72 and have regular weeklyish sex with hubby 74. No spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor but we set aside time to be with each other and have sex if we want to, or whatever physical closeness we want. It's lovely and a valued part of our time together. I need hormone replacement vaginal cream and vaginal moisturising cream but that's to be expected. As others have said, it's hard to be without physical closeness even if that isn't, for the people involved, about penetrative sex.

DollydaydreamTheThird · 31/08/2024 21:53

WearsblackLoveschocolateAvoidspeople · 30/08/2024 10:40

I am 51 and still in perimenopause.

I used to have a high sex drive but it's reducing by the month now. Had sex with dh a few weeks ago, before that it was around 3 months.

I feel sad that I no longer desire sex and feel bad for dh but I can't go on hrt so probably will lose my sex drive forever over the next few years.

Even though I don't look or act old my loss of sex drives really makes me feel that way.

You should speak to GP about loss of libido. You can get testosterone patches that help with it. Google it. If you can't speak to GP you can go private on superdrug etc for testosterone for women in menopause. Worth a try....

7catsisnotenough · 31/08/2024 21:55

57, DH 60, a couple of times a month, but plenty of hugs, cuddles in between

Mt61 · 31/08/2024 21:55

shuggles · 31/08/2024 21:15

Viagra only causes an erection. It does not induce sexual desire.

Show quote history

Oh right, learn something everyday ha

Honest00lad · 31/08/2024 21:57

38, male.
Nowhere near as active as I was.
I don't know if it's me declining or the fact I've been with same woman for such a long time. Maybe a combination of both.

Sunflowerinherfifties · 31/08/2024 21:58

Early thirties divorced single over 25 years

Honest00lad · 31/08/2024 21:59

Itstimetoquit · 31/08/2024 21:31

Haha I love this thread,after being married for 20 years (he cheated) then a 15 year relationship (he also cheated)I've been single 3 years so 53 the last time! Now I did like a bit of w*lly every now and again...but im not overly fond of what it's attached to ! X

Username and comment aligned there! 😂

OnceUponATimeInTheWest · 31/08/2024 22:03

TheMadGardener · 31/08/2024 21:03

❤️ for you.

My husband died from cancer 5 years ago. About 6 months before he died he became too physically frail for sex. I was 48 then.

I really miss the intimacy and it makes me sad to think that I might never find another person to share that kind of intimacy with.

Show quote history

Thank you for sharing your story and my heart goes out to you and all of the others who have posted and are in a similar position. It is a timely reminder to make the most of your husband\wife\partner while you can, regardless of whether that involves sex or not, as you never know what is just around the corner.

shuggles · 31/08/2024 22:05

Honest00lad · 31/08/2024 21:57

38, male.
Nowhere near as active as I was.
I don't know if it's me declining or the fact I've been with same woman for such a long time. Maybe a combination of both.

Very normal for 30+ men.

NotyouraverageAimee · 31/08/2024 22:06

I haven’t had any action in almost 5 years but that’s not by choice

Iloveanicegarden · 31/08/2024 22:06

2006 A bit of a story. We were having issues so went to Relate. There we were told to stop sex and focus on Sensate focus. That was weird. Then our therapist stopped doing the work due to issues of her own. We weren't offered another counsellor, so we sort of got stuck - and never resumed. Then I developed Lichen Sclerosis and that was so painful it sounded the death knell for sex. DH didn't want any manual help so that was that

Honest00lad · 31/08/2024 22:07

shuggles · 31/08/2024 22:05

Very normal for 30+ men.

Show quote history

If the decline continues I reckon I won't care by the time I'm 50. But I read on here many 50+ active folk