Son did terribly in GCSE’s

[Kat29]

My 16 year old got his GCSE results yesterday and they were awful. Everything was at least 2 grades below what he was predicted. He only passed 4 although that did include maths and English. All his plans have to do A-levels are in tatters, as is his confidence, and my confidence in my parenting ability. I just don’t know where to go from here. School didn’t care, they were too busy taking photos of their high achievers so no help there.

Genuinely fail to see the issue? He did his best- how is that a failure? There are LOTS of opportunities for him.. School is not the be all an end all... This is a blessing in disguise, in a sense!

I left school with zero GCSE's... Now have a foundation degree in an area I love.. Then went on to do my degree in another area that I love! My aim for the future is to get a PhD, but I know that's a way down the line, but is but possible.
So your son for one is doing amazing with 4! Id be bloody well proud of him. No matter WHAT he does, he will do it his way, and develop more skills/education.

Well done to your son for achieving his grades!!!

One of mine had a rocky road through school exams. Eventually did equivalent to A levels at an FE college, which unis accepted for admission. Can’t remember what they were called, but it worked. Please don’t worry. Your son’s got the most important two, maths and English. Tell him not to despair. There are lots of options. Took mine two sixth forms and two FE colleges to achieve. Now happily married and gainfully employed!

Aww how disappointing for him , I hope you're not being too hard on him, any particular reason why? My middle son had a terrible set of results too, he said he was revising St school when I asked him and did he want help, he had a younger brother who he had to share a room with that didn't help and few other issues) But he was told by teachers and family how good he was with children, so he was still able to stay on in 6th form and he went down the nvq route , got a qualification and has done really well since , so not end of world , the fact your son has got his Maths and English is hugely advantageous ( there was an advert once for BT. boy rang his grandmother that he'd not done well , she looked on positive, he got an ology!!! Point being your son got maths and english at least and 2 others) He'll be fine, don't worry, maybe an apprenticeship is another option.

Revising At school*

I know quite a few plumbers and tilers earning 7-10k per month. Maybe he isn't academic and would benefit from a more hands on job?

My husband could not do exams! He just put his name on his paper and then went blank. He took his paper home and his elder brother went through it with him, he got everything right! Just could not face the exam situation. Has done very well having got himself a job and just got on with life. There is no need to panic as there are many paths to success.

Is your son interested in the Arts? Music, art, performing arts, dance etc?
Plenty of future career opportunities (despite what the Tories say).
Studying something creative can often prove therapeutic and good for mental health .
Wishing you all the best, OP. Once you and he have looked at the available pathways, you'll both feel better I'm sure.
Also wanted to add that the Arts college near me does diplomas in lots of creative tech eg computer game design, which might appeal.

Just saying: lots of colleges don't like to deal with Mums. They tend to expect the student to enquire. Might just make him feel more empowered too. Wish him luck!

Hi OP, I can sympathise, although your son tried, so please don’t be hard on him or your self x
My son didn’t actually revise to be honest and was always gaming despite anything I did. When the console was taken away, he now admits he didn’t really do anything at all! He finally pulled his socks up when it was too late and did a weeks worth of solid revision at the most. He managed all 4s a 2, a D1 and M1. He has totally missed his college offer and now needs to see if anywhere will accept him to do A levels or a level 3 BTEC, now the reality has sunken in. I think he needed this as had he got his grades, I honestly believe he could have carried on with the same attitude and totally flunked his A levels or whatever he chose to do .

Good luck to your son and you 😊

I think my child is the same...better the wake up call now than later. My child has not been accepted on the chosen course due to poor results (due to very little revision) and is going to have to do a GCSE equivalent year...I actually think this is no bad thing now after the upset of last week has subsided. She will have to learn how to learn, revise etc in order to get to the next step and it being in a different environment with different teachers will hopefully be motivating.

Glad to hear all the positive stories, my DD got 2 GCSE’s, passed both English, which we have celebrated, maths is having marking reviewed as 1 mark away from a pass. For DD we always knew she would take college route, but will start at level 2, instead of 3. I don’t see this as an issue, she’s summer born, so what she gets 3 years at college instead of 2, more time to decide what she actually wants to do. Hoping she will find her tribe at college, secondary school was not a great time, I was more focused on just getting her through, keeping her mental health intact after a horrible period of bullying.

I really wish more people would have this attitude though, taking exams is not for everyone and actually even for the 'better' apprenticeships the kids often start at L2 as are learning a trade from scratch so it makes more sense anyway. My DS is doing his L2 apprenticeship (even though he has the grades for L3) and most of the other apprentices are age 40+ doing L2 and 3.

People get very snobbish about L2 but it is honestly a great route for students and they often thrive and fly through L3 as they have that bit more maturity and also more drive for studying.

I hope your DD is ok, college is often such a great time compared to school, so many of my friends DC really find it a million times better than school.

Thank you @PugInTheHouse , that’s really encouraging, she’s looking forward to a fresh start.

Although it may seem it now, it is not the end of the world. I would look in to resitting. And do this someplace else as the school has shown you that they’re not interested in offering support nor help.

poor results, even unexpected, are not uncommon and the school should have someone dedicated in the day to support this’s in your son’s situation. This is one major reason to move to another school.

do research thoroughly before choosing. Think and review carefully what you think may be an area that may not have been a good fit with your son and this school so the next school could be better in particular area.

maybe also think about a tutor and a revision course during school breaks.

we did these options with one of our children who needed a little extra at that age.

draw a line under what happened. Tell your son that these things can happen. Let’s think about what you can do to move forward. That it is not the end of the world.

Hi Kat29, don't worry. GCSEs are just one stepping stone. As a teacher. I thought both my kids should do A Levels. They proved me wrong. My daughter did a BTEC and didn't want to go to uni. She started an apprenticeship on 36K! My son is also doing a BTEC because he too didn't get high GCSEs. He is doing it in engineering and do much happier. Apprenticeships are excellent. I no longer believe A Levels are the key to success

Hi

This happened to my son during Covid with teachers assessment grades.He got very low grades .He got 2 grades lower for almost everything and in fine art 3 but he put the most affort with the drawing.Teachers just considered random work rather then the best one.No zoom classes during Covid .This was crime to youths.School didn’t care.And the grades were awarded by teachers who not even were his subject teachers He tried BETC at the same school but he was always compared to his sisters rather be treated as an own individual .He also retook some GCSE and got his better Maths grade .I should have register him to retake all GCSE subjects ..He moved to collage done 2 years and soon moving out to uni.Time gone quickly,he is fine ,very happy with his outcome so far.So I guess things happens for a reason .Your son will be fine..And college students go to uni as well.

My brother was unlucky with his GCSEs in that his birth was sandwiched between 2 sisters who were both academic and it has since become obvious that he was an undiagnosed dyslexic. His school (in those days) knew nothing about how to help so he left and (briefly) became a petrol pump attendant. He then went into the army where he gained lots of technical qualifications as well as an HGV licence. As a result, he gained a very good job in a petrol refinery where he was in charge of making sure it didn't blow up Southampton!
I have 40 years' experience in education and I despair that as a country we STILL haven't recognised that there are many different ways of being clever. Don't forget we had as PM someone who could quote Latin and Greek and look where that got us!
Your son will need to try a few things, find his way of being clever and then go for it. With support from you, he will be fine.

I have 40 years' experience in education and I despair that as a country we STILL haven't recognised that there are many different ways of being clever.
I'm.not sure what can be done about this. Its an issue we have in society. As we have seen from threads on here, disparaging vocational courses, telling other people that their children should be plumbers if they don't get all grade 9's at gcse and all As at A Level, sneering at children who don't do A Levels and devaluing their efforts and achievements. It's endemic in the UK in a way that it is not in economies like Germany. Frankly, I am academic but I'd be earning a fuckton more money if I'd trained as a plumber than did my English degree. And that was when it was free. Most people end up doing ordinary jobs that are sometimes boring and sometimes interesting, most people do other qualifications after they start work. Yet we make children feel like failures and write them off at 16 if they don't go onto A Levels. And that does not include the children who have been written off already because they don't get an arbitrary grade 4 in maths and English in an exam that goes far beyond competency in maths and English.

@DramaLlamaBangBang you are so right. There are so many posters complaining about how distressed their DC are because they got an 8 amongst all 9s and then there is a thread recently discussing how someone has told relatives their DC has done A levels but its only a BTEC. I honestly despair over it, I have a DS who is not academic and has various learning difficulties and it constantly feels like you have to justify why you are happy with 4s and 5s with the odd 3 at GCSE. I hate it.

Someone told me that they would feel like they had failed as a parent if their DC didn't go to uni. The funny thing was that it was my assistant who was older than me, who had gone to Uni herself but I hadn't. Makes no sense.

Exactly. And it's no skin off anyone else's nose if someone they don't know has got onto a uni course with a btec. If they end up on the same course and pass it, then it doesn't matter how they got there. They aren't taking a place away from an A Level student. If the person they don't know fails the course then that's no skin off their nose either. Qualifications don't exist so that parents can brag about their DC's!

Something that might be worth doing to help inform you and him about his strengths and weaknesses would be to recall the scripts for some of his papers to see where he lots marks and why. Is he running out of time and not finishing? Does he misread the Q? Was knowledge wrong or is he structuring answers poorly? Where did he pick up marks in the papers?

This knowledge and understanding will help you to put in place support at college for him.

Requesting copies of scripts is generally free and quick to do. You should be able to get a form from the school.

Plenty can be done about it. We need to adjust our ideas about intelligence and cleverness, both within society and within education. The work of Howard Gardner (Multiple Intelligences) provided a brilliant starting point. But we all know that counting the number of level 4+ at GCSE is not much of an indicator of future success. Two school "failures", Richard Branson and Jamie Oliver were both dyslexic but (like my brother) they've done all right, haven't they?
Also in Germany they've had unversities for people with technical skills for years, turning out engineers. And now half of us buy German cars...

Absolutely what Leeds3 says. It's an awful time. My ds failed all of his - but that's a different story. He is however on the College course of his choosing with a chance to resit what he needs. Your local colleges will be a wealth of advice. Good luck🤞

My DS failed 3 of his 9 but maths and English being 2 of them!
Rest being 4's and 5's
I don't know what to do about resits and I feel I have failed him
I got extra tutors and all the help I could get from school
But time management seems to be an issue
I don't know where to go from here