Son did terribly in GCSE’s

[Kat29]

My 16 year old got his GCSE results yesterday and they were awful. Everything was at least 2 grades below what he was predicted. He only passed 4 although that did include maths and English. All his plans have to do A-levels are in tatters, as is his confidence, and my confidence in my parenting ability. I just don’t know where to go from here. School didn’t care, they were too busy taking photos of their high achievers so no help there.

I know it was a while back (late 80s) but I failed mine miserably, went to technical college intending to do a full time ONC in civil engineering but then secured a trainee / apprenticeship type place at a company after a year so finished second year part time (and paid for). Went on to do a funded HNC, worked hard for the next 15yrs+, moving companies along the way, working my way up, then set up my own consultancy with a senior colleague in 2003 which we eventually sold in 2019 for a handsome sum. Loved every minute of it; don't let anything or anybody stop you if you can listen, learn and improve on the job - I was clearly better suited to work than academia, and it paid off very well. Good luck to your son.

DP, sorry to hear that your son performed poorly in his GCSE's but its not the end of the world. Maybe he's not academic and should look at a trade. We tend to focus to much on quals with University and degrees being the 'holy grail'. They aren't.

I get you are disappointed OP. You are not alone. I currently work in secondary school and prior to that, 17 years in a FE school.

There are no failures, other than the people who give up having not got the results they need. A huge plus is he got his Maths and English. I can’t tell you how many students have to resit these - LOADS. and some resit for years to get them.

Following his results, his career goals should be the same. It will just take him longer to get there. His local college will offer him a level 3 course which will then give him UCAS points to get into Uni.

Don't give up! please tell him that he’s got this. He needs motivation and support. He will get there in the end.

I agree with @bergamotorange . Concentrate on your sons feelings/wants/needs around this not your own. Does he really feel the same way about the desire for academic success in life really or is he just following your wants? My son didn’t do great at school and his exams last year, he struggled so much with the academic styled learning. He retook his English at college whilst on his Motor Technician course and passed. He still isn’t sure what he wants to do in life even now, and doesn’t seem very sure about the course he’s on. Over the summer hols he’s completed a Pool Lifeguard course and passed no problem - I’ve never seen him so happy and animated the whole week - suddenly my boy who couldn’t ever even remember what he had learned that same day at school could recite all the learning with enthusiasm. I don’t care what he ends up doing now, academic or no - I just want to see him happy like that doing something he enjoys!

A friend's child some years back got 4 GCSE's without one of the core subjects
Thought it was the end of the world as from an academic background and all friends were academic at grammar schools so was very an uncomfortable time. The YP ended up being accepted into 6th form college to do A levels despite grades and recently graduated with an excellent degree. TBH there is life and opportunities with or without GCSE's though at the time it may look bleak. There will always be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Exactly this, what @YRAABOFW says.
My ds didn't get the grades he needed, Started a level 2 course not 3. Dropped out before the 3rd year. He went full time in the warehouse he was working in for the summer. At 25 he's earing £40k. He's a warehouse man, for a worldwide company.
The prospects for moving through the company are endless.

Many successful people have had to resit exams, they were just not vocal about it
My dh failed the first year of his degree.,He changed courses and did a finance degree and is now an accountant with his own business

My Dd failed her maths she retook it 3 times but was always a couple of marks short she passed all her other subjects
She’s 19 she went to College straight from school and did a BTEC health and social care course which she passed with a distinction.She has just completed a 2 year diploma course in musical theatre and performing arts with 2 distinctions and a merit and in September is starting a 3 year degree course in the same subjects.

FIRSTLY DON’T ASSUME THAT THE GRADES ARE CORRECT !
Both my children have had GCSE papers remarked in last few years & gone up to the next grade. If his marks are close to the grade boundaries then get them remarked. School’s can be really insensitive about this & just focus on the kids who did well- it really annoys me & I’m a teacher!
Please consider getting them remarked. Try to make an appointment with the school examination officer to discuss your options.

If it's any help my sister in law went to a really academic school where she was unhappy (parents ignored this!) and failed all her (then) O levels. Then went to local sixth form college (very bog standard) for a resit year and got them all! The more relaxed learning style suited her and most important she was happy. Has gone on to have a great career in nursing! Honestly this is not the end, he just needs to find a different way. Most schools are very ' one size fits all'.

It's really not the end of the world. I haven't got a gcse to my name. I worked from the age of 17, I travelled throughout my 20's. At 27 I went to college to do an access course which got me into uni. I qualified as a nurse at 30. I was a late bloomer, all is not lost.

Could he do A-levels in 3 of the ones he passed. A-levels supercede GCSEs.

Surely a college will take him especially with Maths and English. Exams are all a gimic at school anyway. Once you're 19 colleges and even universities will accept a student on their own promise that they can undertake the work. I don't know why parents act like a few failed exams at 16 mean they don't have their entire lives to fix it. They're too young to even know what they want to do.

Exactly this. All you need is a few years maturity and they'll take you on to do what you want. If anything kids could all do with it after having been yelled at and demanded of for their whole lives. A few years experience working somewhere and then into college.

Could he go to an independent school for a year or even a term to resit his exams? Most of them are quite expensive but worth it as he would get more help and support.

These results do not mean the end of the world, he can re-resit the subjects where his grades are not high enough then go on to A-levels, or equivalent.His talents may lie in other areas than academic.
If he cannot obtain a place at a traditional university there is always the OU - acceptance for their courses does not depend on qualifications and there is no age limit - I graduated age 61 and have heard of graduates in their 80s! So ideal for ’late developers’ They are extremely supportive and students can pace their degrees over six years, so ideal for simultaneous experience in part-time work.

Can't he do resits at college and then choose A levels next year?

Don't be depressed. My son did the same while all the mothers were bleating on about their kids. If necessary tell a white lie he got 6! He's still more than capable of A levels don't be put off it maybe a good idea to get private tutors at home to encourage and motivate him. My son was the same and pulled his socks up at A levels went to university and has a good job in advertising.

A lot of this 20 year old reminiscing is really unhelpful to the OP, although well- intentioned. Colleges are tied in knots with funding rules and targets and although there will be something, it’s unlikely to be a straight route to the original plan. But do get the component breakdowns OP, it may be worth looking at a re-mark or two.

You need to rethink your attitude This doesn't define your son now or in the future ! He can do resits or take other GCSE subjects at a Further Education College It's only GCSE results not the end of the world!

I'm really sorry. It sounds like you have a good plan though. Is there an advisor at the college he can speak to? Can he do a year long course plus get the additional GCSE under his belt then carry on with plan A? Hope he bounces back soon. It's hard when their confidence takes a hit.

It's really important that you make sure your son understands that his grades don't define the person he is, for some kids the whole sitting down for an exam can be really hard despite how hard they work in school. Has your son looked into apprenticeships for his chosen career? It might be something that he would be good for him,as he'll get paid as well.

It might feel like it for him now, but this really isn’t the end of the world. He can retake his GCSEs over one or two years, and progress to A levels a little later. As a 34 year old woman about to start my last year at university, which I am absolutely smashing, some of us don’t get into the right headspace until a little later on in life. Some of us don’t get there until nearly 20 years after we leave school! Please, please encourage him and support him to know that it’s ok and he can try again.

If he feels he can do better in some of the subjects he should re-sit them at college. Perhaps focus on this for a year then next September apply to do A levels or BTECs at college.

Sadly, predicted grades are just that, a prediction. For myself, I think everyone would be considerably better off if such grades were not given out - they give a false sense of security.
So sorry for your son. The local FE college may have some useful options, and also the ability to do resits. This might be the best option, and only resit what he needs - the rest do not matter so much.
Also, it's not the end of the world, nor such a disaster as it now appears. It will come right and he will find the right/best course for him. Give support and love.