Son did terribly in GCSE’s

[Kat29]

My 16 year old got his GCSE results yesterday and they were awful. Everything was at least 2 grades below what he was predicted. He only passed 4 although that did include maths and English. All his plans have to do A-levels are in tatters, as is his confidence, and my confidence in my parenting ability. I just don’t know where to go from here. School didn’t care, they were too busy taking photos of their high achievers so no help there.

My friends ds only got 3 Gcses not including maths and English. He did a plumbing apprenticeship and basic skills in English and maths. He then did his gas safe qualification. Fast forward 10 years, he is earning over 50k, no student debt and has bought a house. He is booked up for months (and earns a stupid amount for out of hours boiler breakdowns in winter) There is hope.

As others have said go to an FE/agricultural college. There will be lots of options and lots of support. It’s great that he got English and maths.

Try not to worry, there are many routes to the one destination. It doesn't have to be the traditional route. Your DS will make a success of it his way. There are loads of college courses that he can do to springboard into 2nd or 3rd year of university. All hope is not lost.

Please don't feel your son has limited himself. If he is capable, he will still succeed. I used to work in a school with sixth form and every year we had one or two students who this would happen to. They typically spent a year on the Level 2 programme, often doing resits and BTECs. If they worked hard, they moved onto A-levels, spent a total of three years in the sixth form and often went onto study at uni. It just took them an extra year, and in many cases, boys particularly benefitted from the extra time to mature.

I ❤️ stories like this. Absolutely so many ways of being successful. Not everyone is geared towards academia and that's a good thing as we need plumbers!!!

I'm a university admissions tutor. For my course and many others I know ow, English and maths at 4 is all that is required at GCSE. Literally not interested in any others. He's successfully jumped through the first hoop which more than many other people will have yesterday (I spoke to a candidate yesterday who had failed maths gcse for the 5th time). As long as he can get on a course he is interested in now, he can just draw a line in the sand and move forward. This is not the end of the world, and you sound like a lovey mum for being so supportive to your son

Been exactly here except only son was the only person not expecting poor results. Put him on a level 2 course at college with English resit, then level 3 travel and tourism then foundation degree and now just about to enter final year in digital marketing at uni. So yes, it's a harder route but you can get to a destination. We would make him sit with us in the room to revise but he would still play games on a secret tab on his laptop so what can you do!??? Good luck, tears ahead but absolutely lots of chances still there

I totally agree with this. Also, trying to see the positives; I think things like this force you to pause and reflect on what all the options are, perhaps in a way you (he) wouldn’t do if he had just got his predicted results and gone on to do whatever his plan was. Use this time to really think what could I do with my life that I would really enjoy..? I wish I’d have stopped to think this through rather than just barrelling down the academic route and tying myself up in knots in a different way. There are always positive opportunities even in a set back xxxx

The same here -n predicted 7-9s , place at a great state boarding school or A Levels, wants to stidy medicine/bio med. He’s distraight. He passed everything but nothing high enough to take the A Levels. No clue how it happened. School not helping.

We’re signing him up to retake them next year, possibly using an online/virtual school - but his plans to go to college with his mates are shttered and we won’t know if he can up his grades on a retake until next year so are terrified we’re setting him for another fall. He is broken. As my my DH who feels we missed something and that he should have been supporting him.

The househild is in bts and DS has not stopped crying.

This happened to my brother at GCSE and A level. He is extremely able, worked hard and is now successful as a lead programmer in a social network that everyone has heard of. There was something about exams and teenage years that just distressed him.

There are lots of qualifications that can be picked up over time and which will get him to wherever he wants to be. It's a hard experience but not necessarily as limiting as you fear.

Honestly this is fine!!

English and maths is a great start... Off to college now... don't baby him, encourage him to do some ringing round and research with your support in the background.

He'll be fine!! There are MUCH worse problems to have but don't be hard on him or waste any time with resits... onwards and upwards now.

I’d really try and stay calm, he needs to know it isn’t the end of the world. I remember failing my degree and feeling like my life was over. I re-did a term and passed, but the reality is my degree, or indeed my GCSEs or a-levels have been very little help or relevance in my career. I had a part tome
job alongside my studies and ended up working my way up there and did really well. Exam results are not the bee all and end all, some people just don’t do well in them despite being smart, they just don’t cope well in an exam environment. He might be better with something more practical, an apprenticeship in a trade, or whatever he likes and is good at. It’s horrible how much focus there is on exam results these days when as I say the reality is that in a lot of cases they don’t really mean much, and you can work your way up with on the job training and gain real experience that way which is what many employers will really want.

There’s nothing wrong with doing a resit year, many do it a A level.

This happened to DN last year but he only passed one GCSE. He was very upset he wasn’t going to be doing A levels with his peers. He went to an excellent 6th form college and resat his GCSE’s and found out yesterday he passed and is all set to do the three A levels he wanted to do in the first place, sticking at his new college and with a new group of friends. In a way it could help that there is no 6th form at his school so all of his friends will be moving to other places.

@Kat29 not the end of the world!
Richard Branson left school with diddly squat. Look at him now!

What was his plan if he had got the grades he needed? That's the start!

I also believe apprenticeships are the way to go now! Get him to look into it and consider it. He will study, earn and learn new skills with a qualified route at the end with no student debt!

Many options available to him. If he really needs to, he can re sit at the local college.

A couple of my friends re sat their maths at college and are all doing well now.

Give him support,reassure him and emphasise you’re proud of his achievements and at 16yo he’s got a whole range of opportunities. Look forward and involve him in making active choices. He’s not defined by a set of exams.

It's all about him, not high achievement family don’t inadvertently draw comparisons

What did he want to do at A level and after OP? I guess he can either find out what he’d need to do to continue with the path he had mapped out, or make a different plan if that’s not possible. It must be so disappointing but I always find positive actions to be the best tonic for stress.

He might want some time to just be sad too. Is there anything nice you can do together while the dust settles? I’d tell him you will make a plan soon, but first, fun!

@Kat29 following on from my post.

Take a look at this

https://www.skillsforcareers.education.gov.uk/pages/training-choice/apprenticeships?utmmedium=Search&utm_source=Google&utmcampaign=SfL&utmterm=IAPP&utmcontent=2425&gadsource=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjww5u2BhDeARIsALBuLnOQmVIGv6W33m288StFGRYCpuXADNGIgfsfCPr6NlRhaF1HOT46agaAo9hEALwwcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Also I have seen network rail advertise some very good apprenticeships. Witha starting wage of £23k which is amazing.

I work at an FE college l. Ours would take a student on a Level 2 course for a year and if they passed they'd go on to a level 3. We also do a lot of level 1 for those without gcses at all.

Students are worth around £4,500 each to a student there's an incentive to take them at different levels.

My daughter was told she didn't get the 5 GCSEs at four and above that simply just put her on the level 2 for a year, then level 3.

There's so many choices available these days

Don’t make him resit. Find something he is interested in an AE college and move forward.

What does he want to do? I think he can go for it! It’s just GCSE and I think Alevel are more important

https://www.findapprenticeship.service.gov.uk/apprenticeship/VAC1000272231

Just to give you an example.

A lot of the bigger companies offer the apprentices a full time job after completing the course. This is 18 months and a salary of 23k and they teach you everything you need along side a college course.

Wish I had done similar when I was your sons age now!

And I have advised my kids that unless there is a job they specifically need a degree for, then to seriously consider apprenticeships.

I'm sorry your son didn't do as well as expected.

My friend's son was in this position last year, except he failed his English he only got a 2. The college he was going to allowed him to do the course he wanted but he had to go in a level 2 instead of level 3 and resit his English exam. Which he took last November and got 5. He has finished his course this year with distinctions. Edited to add that they both found the college much more useful and understanding then the High School he went to.

Don't give hope speak to the College they are the ones with the expertise in this, they will be able to help him get to where he wants to be.

My DD got much lower marks than predicted. I think she scraped through though.
I'm disappointed because she was predicted 7/8/9 on most of the subjects she cares about.
It does come down to her anxiety though. She falls apart in exams.

Right now, the plan isn't to focus on those results being the be all and end all.

Our kids need to focus on their next step, and working hard in that. In 10 years time, no one's going to ask DS how he did in his GCSEs.

I'm sorry your son is going through this OP, but he has absolutely not limited his opportunities overall. Whilst it is also difficult for you to see this you need to take a deep breath, be proud of him and support him in building a resilient attitude to this so that he can see he can still thrive. There will be lots of opportunities, speak to the local colleges and see what he can do. Does he have a future career that he is aiming for? If so research other entry routes - as others have said there will be foundation courses at colleges that will give the qualifications needed to get onto A levels.

Not all people thrive in exams and I think this can be a really difficult time for those that for whatever reason didn't get the results they were predicted or hoping for. I saw so much celebration within the media for those who did exceptionally well and all over social media posts of congratulation and at that time it struck me how difficult it must be for those who have had disappointing results. One of the posts that was run a local news outlet within social media was that of a young person who a few years ago was hoping to be a vet. Aware that exams weren't her strong point she hoped to go via the diploma route but didn't get the grades required to study animal science at a local college and so did their extended diploma instead. Doing incredibly well at this she then did a bioveterinary degree and got a first and is now starting her Veterinary medicine and surgery degree this academic year. I loved that they run this story - it shows how there are other options available. I just wish that the education system was able to support other options more rather than making the youngsters feel as though they have failed.

Best of luck to your son and yourself.