Son did terribly in GCSE’s

[Kat29]

My 16 year old got his GCSE results yesterday and they were awful. Everything was at least 2 grades below what he was predicted. He only passed 4 although that did include maths and English. All his plans have to do A-levels are in tatters, as is his confidence, and my confidence in my parenting ability. I just don’t know where to go from here. School didn’t care, they were too busy taking photos of their high achievers so no help there.

The important two are English and Maths and he has those. My son didn't pass many so he did one year at college doing some more level 2 qualifications. One year into level 3 he decided he had had enough of education and wanted to leave. He then managed to get an apprenticeship which he stuck for 2 years.

He came home one day and said he wanted to go to university. He enrolled on an Access to HE course and passed and has just finished his second year at uni studying mechanical engineering and is doing really well and loving university life.

There are always different options to consider and if he does want to go to university he can, not everyone takes the normal route. Don't despair, this is a small set back. He sounds like a hard working lad so he will do well in life.

A levels and a degree are absolutely not the holy grail to having a good or interesting career.

He could do a BTEC or T level or an intermediate or advanced apprenticeship.

Not the end of the world. Retake them. Try harder. Give him a hug.

It feels like the end of the world, but it's not. He won't be the first or last young person that did not achieve their desired results, speak to college.
I've been there and am out the other end, I remember how stressed I felt, but it all worked out, good luck OP

Hi OP and son, Please don't beat yourself up on not getting the grades that you expected/were predicted. Your son's grades are the start of career options and building blocks for further success. I'm sure you feel like you are gocomparing right now and surrounded by people with their top grades( I know how horrible that feeling can be). Your family's previous academic success is not relevant and it is very important that you don't let your son think you are disappointed in him.
There are multiple career opportunities/further education that are open to him.
Please don't think I am being insensitive when I say that this situation is more common than you think.
We all have experience of those telling the world of their child's straight A results.
Give your son a big hug and tell him how proud you are of him. It is going to be OK

No one is ever a failure at 16. Plenty of options at FE colleges. I would never write anyone off at this age.

Remember what Jeremy Clarkson said a good few years ago - he passed no GCSEs but look where he is now!!! Could not decide which of his six top of the range cars to use that day. Think I heard that on Radio 2 Chris Evans show many years ago. Not the best example to use but so true.

Sorry to hear your DS is disappointed. I'm a teacher and a mother of a 16 year old. This was my first time going through the process on the other side, waiting on my DS results, it was an absolutely horrendous feeling. It's certainly changed the way I view the exams, it is so stressful for them and I wished we thought less about them as numbers and targets. As I say to my students who are dissapoined with results... They are a passport to the next stage not the final destination. No one as adults sit at a dinner party and tell people what they got at GCSE, instead they share their occupations and successes in life. He may take a different route to his destination but he will get there.

Glad he's got a place @Kat29 I may be biased but he will have a great experience at an FE college. The student experience is a priority. He won't look back - honest 😊

Goodness and this is a problem? Okay be disappointed that's okay tho he can resit or leave get a job. Seen alot of kids attempt suicide in my job due to various things including feeling pressured into further education.

Hi OP. Just to say that I failed most of my GCSEs and had to re-take maths (amongst others). I re-took my GCSEs and had a slow journey through academia and working life but now am in a highly regarded profession with a Masters. It doesn’t have to be the be all and end all. Not saying you’re not justified in worrying and wanting to make sure he now gets the right support but don’t see this as a complete writing off of positive educational outcomes in the future, particularly if he was in top sets etc.

"He's limited himself" - How can an academic family say something like that? It's extremely naive. Speaking as an academic woman with crap GCSE's. He is still entitled to do his A-Levels and to have a good education. Turning it into a massive drama with no encouragement is going to make his outlook bleak. Be a good parent and push him onwards.

This is really upsetting to be honest - what were the results of his peers like? It feels as though something has gone wrong with his schooling if he was recognised as bright, did enough work and had good attendance.

Can you call anyone to get some feedback in situations like this? It really doesn't seem fair to not help him avoid making the same mistakes in future assessments.

Does he have subtlety/ can he get fixated on or blinkered about things? The only thing that might have occurred is that he's interpreted the questions incorrectly but been of the mindset that he's completely right, so missed some important nuance. I still feel that should have been picked up by the school though. I hope you get an explanation.

brilliant, wishing your daughter success and happiness on her course

I’m sorry. We had that situation a few years ago. Just protect his mental health right now and figure it out later. It will work out one way or another. My child did and is doing great now.

My son crashed and burned in the seventh form. He had done very well up to then. People were always telling him how bright he was. I think he believed everything would come easily to him. He says he hadn't learnt good study skills. He scraped into university. Next year, all going well, he will qualify as a doctor. He got into medical school after doing a science degree

I think your son needs to concentrate on study skills. Critical reading of material, making sure he understands stuff as it is being learnt rather than trying to understand and revise, decent study notes, and online or manual flashcards. It means revising the bits he doesn't understand rather than the bits he does.

Look everyone makes out that you need to be a high achiever in school but really they don't they can attend a college or the armed forces the navy or air force, am sure he will find his own feet it's not that you've failed as a parent lots of people left school with les than your son and became very good in life at what they chose to do in life, he will be disappointed but now you can sit to him and say positive things like you can achieve whatever you want trust me there's so much out there for you to learn other than gcse results university there's a whole big world out there thriving in opportunities that will welcome.e him and get him to thrive in whatever he chooses so go big up your son for what he has achieved take him out treat him hes not a failure and neither are you

There's lots of options, it's just a shame you have to make a decision under pressure. Think about what career he had in mind, call the local college and ask them what courses could lead to that career. As an example, my daughter wants to do architecture. She's doing a level 3 diploma at college that needed grade 4 in maths and English. If she didn't get that, the college would still take her but make her redo those subject at the college. No big deal. After college she can do an apprenticeship or apply to uni, just like A level students do

The wretched exam- based system is not fit for purpose. Have you considered applying to an IB course for the final two years? It’s much more enlightened and broad based. See if any of your nearby schools offer this

With 4 GCSE grades, he could do what I did when I got very much lower grades than was expected, apply for the Civil Service, I worked there from age 18 for 26 years, they even do apprenticeships & you can do further qualifications while there, I have NVQ level 2 in IT & a level 3 in Business administration.

If he did hugely different than expected, and there’s an area that he’s interested in pursuing and has a sensible teacher at the school (lot of ifs I know) then it may be beneficial to request a copy of a couple of the papers and sit with the teacher and look at where went awry.

Not to beat himself up further, but to help understand how to avoid a repeat in future as sounds like wasn’t for lack of trying or having underlying capability. There’s an exam technique thing here that’s not working for him.

Oh bless him, sounds as though his school were pretty remiss in their predictions! But what a horrible shock for him!

What were his longer term goals? Hopefully things will work out but of course he must feel stunned. I would definitely be fed up with his school.....

Some brilliant advice on here for you OP. I'm pleased you have had a discussion and figured out more of a pathway for your son.
I wish him the best of luck, and the same to anyone else whose results weren't as they expected.

If your DS does decide to resit, consider getting him some exam technique coaching. It can make a huge difference, and many schools just don't teach it.

The DS of a friend of mine didn't get the grade he needed in one of his A-levels to become a dentist, so I coached him for his re-sit - not in the subject matter itself, he knew his stuff, but how to be as effective as possible in the exam. Stuff like time management, writing super-concisely, answering to fit a marking scheme etc. He got through with flying colours second time around.

What does he think how he did in the exams? If he is confident that he did well then might be worth getting the papers rechecked

He might be able to do A levels at an FE college. It could be an opportunity for him to do an apprenticeship rather than go down the university route. No debt and on the job training.