Son did terribly in GCSE’s

[Kat29]

My 16 year old got his GCSE results yesterday and they were awful. Everything was at least 2 grades below what he was predicted. He only passed 4 although that did include maths and English. All his plans have to do A-levels are in tatters, as is his confidence, and my confidence in my parenting ability. I just don’t know where to go from here. School didn’t care, they were too busy taking photos of their high achievers so no help there.

my son got 6’s and 5s I pushed him to do A levels. It was the wrong thing to do even with those better grades than your ds he wasn’t that academic or conscientious enough for the massive leap to a levels. Lots of his mates did BTECs and he did one in Busines alongside 2 A levels. BTECs are less pressure, more practical and where as he and his friends came out with Merits (equivalent to a C grade in a levels) he got a D and an E. Having been totally turned off education and having no direction he’s now talking with much more positivity having got a full time job as a stop gap. We all have a different pathway

My son only got 4s in the two English GCSEs. He lad already decided to go do a vocational course and he retook Math and hit a 4. He's now a qualified PT and fitness instructor. He (just turned 21) does that part time and works full time for an independent men's clothing boutique which he's had since 17 (part time while at college). He's still trying to figure out what he wants to do, but lives on his own with all that entails.
His classmate got three As and went to uni. Dropped out second year and is currently working for a landscaper and at a pub, lives at home (so can bank his earnings). He's pretty sure uni not for him.
So, do they both have equal prospects? We shall see. Just saying uni, even for those with good grades, doesn't always work out.

Firstly remind him that these exam results are just a snap shot of one section of a really long journey. They feel like it’s everything and that it’s the end of the world that he didn’t get predicted grades. But it’s not. It really isn’t. Everyone’s academic careers and life journey are so different. Focus on his well-being. He sounds intelligent, hard working and very capable so his nerves and pressure probably got the best of him. Dont let him think badly of himself just because he was nervous.

Next look at grade boundaries and the individual marks - how close was he to the levels above? Are there any that you can request/pay to be remarked? If he’s 1/2 marks off a higher grade it might be worth getting them marked.

Then look at resists - loads of colleges will allow him to sit individual modules to get his higher grades.

Finally look at the breakdown of the results - I was diagnosed as dyslexic after my GCSEs because my teachers realised I was a A student with A course work that for Ds and Es in the Exams. I finished with Bs as a result but the breakdown gave an indication that I had managed and coped well through school with it until I was put under pressure.

however - do not let himself believe he’s limited himself in any way. Do not let him believe he’s done wrong. He’s not slacked off, he’s not skived or messed around. He got nervous, he probably panicked and he’s probably a mess. Go easy on him.

I love responses like yours, its alot of pressure for them, hes defo not failed xxx

you must be gutted but take him to your local FE college and he should be able to get on a level 3 programme (if the ones he passed you mean for 4a or above). He will still be able to get to uni with a level 3 or even an alternative but better route. Xx

My son is 21 now. I think exams make him anxious. He got relatively poor GCSEs. He didn't do A-levels because of covid but he has failed his driving theory test 5 times ish. He's really intelligent and has been fortunate that the degree he's doing is entirely assessment based. He's also a lazy monkey but this has saved him. Your son will find his way. Also my husband got 2 o-levels on his first go and is now a highly paid IT consultant. Lots of people just have a different route. I cried outside on GCSE results day and now my son is about to start his final year of his degree. He'll be fine.

Thank you so much. It’s actually a podcast interview, which you can find on Parenting Teenagers Untangled next Wednesday. His book is book of the week on the BBC, so you can listen to an abridged version for free if you would like. It’s really, very good.

I did shite in my GCSEs and I’m now on 40k a year, managing a caseload etc. my skill set was elsewhere ☺️ I’m 30

Hi Kat29

what A levels did he want to do? Maybe there might be a diploma course or Btec that he can do there’s also some others that give the equivalent of 2 or 3 a levels he he had plans to go to university afterwards this would still give him that option all maybe google- what courses at college or 6th form give the equivalent of 3 a levels this will give your son an idea of what course he can do to get the desired outcome- if he did not have a plan to go to university he could also look at apprenticeships which is another idea check gov.uk apprenticeship which will train him for a career and pay at the same time and eventually he could end up earning well . The good thing is that he passed his English and Maths and that is an amazing achievement all is not lost mum everything will be ok. Not everyone passes the Maths and English so encourage and make a big thing of that to get his confidence up.

Also mum have a look at T-levels they also give the equivalent of A levels usueful for those who didn’t get there desired outcome all the best keep your head up things will work out stay positive and he will be also

DS who is autistic got a U in maths. I was expecting it to be honest as he’s SEN and for the most part of year 9 & 10 was in a Sen room due to anxiety and then he had a massive bust up with his maths teacher in February, resulting in a few months out until jus5 before the exams started when he was put in a new class. He absolutely despises it and can’t concentrate at all. I’m not sure what that means for for his course because he’s only chosen one, which you need relatively low grades for entry. I’m hoping because he passed the English and and his other subject which relates to the course, that they take pity on him, otherwise I will have to deregister him and homeschool or perhaps do an online course. He doesn’t want to study anything else, he doesn’t even want to go to college he’s only going because he has too, he’s hated school since reception, we’ve managed to get him through high school. There’s no hope of him getting a job unless it’s with limited people or working from home.

Sounds like you have a good plan now OP and that’s great. My DD is in a similar position although her school have been supportive.

It’s so hard,especially when people are praising how well their kids have done on FB while your child has had their confidence knocked.

Best of luck.

By the way,my brother completely failed his A levels the first time round and now is a very high flyer,very successful and earning a fortune. Not everyone does well straight away.

There’s little opportunity to do GCSE resits other than maths and English - thanks Gove - but you might find some packages somewhere. Take an academic as possible L2 course if he wants to ultimately do A levels (ie L2 Business rather than L2 bricklaying) and he should get onto A levels on Sept 25. The best bet is to go to the local FE college and be clear that ultimately he wants to do X, he’s got Y in the bag, what’s the route? I can tell you it happens- 25 years of A level admissions and more distraught kids than I care to have had to have shepherded elsewhere.

Does your son need to go to uni for the profession he would like to do,?....There are so many apprenticeships today and the majority ask for maths and English....

I understand your feelings, it can feel like he hasn't a decent future to look forward , it is very upsetting, but be careful, you don't want him to think he has disappointed you, because the rest of the family is academic .....
You have been given some great advice, like FE colleges, where he can study a level 3 B/tec which are equivalent to 3 Alevels, these are accepted in terms of ucas points
There are many courses , from engineering, IT, science, etc, you maybe pleasantly surprised.....Just reassure your son, it is not the end of the world and colleges will do all they can to help. Good luck

My heart goes out to your son. I can understand from many years ago and wish I had dealt with things differently. I know so many people these days who develop the best skills that are so needed, eg plumbing, joinery etc, just to name a few and they are earning much more and soon can start their own business.

It sounds like you son is intelligent, sometimes nerves and anxiety in examinations can take over. I know a bit about that, It really is not the end of the world for him and some learn even more from past failures, that they do so much better in the end.

I wish all the very best for him and I hope he gets all the encouragement and positivity at this time.

Academia in this day and age is not all it is cracked up to be unless the goals are very focused to a certain profession. I know so many people with degrees and masters, earning minimum wage too, They sound more indoctinrated and brainwashed rather than being able to critically think.

So Sorry to hear your disappointment and upset but he’s done so well passing English and Maths.
like other posters have said- this is just a different challenge now. You mention your family are academics- what route did you son want to take? I only ask this because I know so many young people who got into the trade via apprenticeships and are so successful- financially and happier being their own boss. Good Builders, plumbers and electricians are like gold dust these days and I know so many who retire early because they can comfortably. My DP family are all academics (mostly teachers) and they wished he had gone into a trade at a young age. DP retrained as an electrician 3 years ago aged 38 and wishes he’d done it years ago! He’s never short of work, is his own boss and it fits around family life so well. Good luck moving forwards- things will work out

Get a grip, only thing limiting him is your pessimistic outlook. The kid is 16 years old let him live his life and find his own way not your tunnel vision of the way life should be.

Op, you have been given lots of great advice.
Mumsnet at its best.
My only piece of advice is to reiterate what some other posters have said which is to try not to show your disappointment. It is all about your ds.
Be positive , proactive and give him lots of love. This will give him the confidence . He will
forever appreciate the support

Next year you will be back on MN saying how well he is doing

Btw -Op, your son is academic, which is why he was predicted good grades. He was probably very nervous

Don't think for a moment this reflects on you. GCSEs are just part of your son's development and while I know exams are important, being a good human being is just as important and I'm sure he ticks that box.

He can retake, follow a different path and recognise other talents. School results are not the be all and end all.

He's got the key subjects so if he takes the time to focus on the others, he'll soon be back on track. When you think of all the years ahead of him, one more year is nothing.

I think your reaction shows how much you care and with that behind him, he's bound to thrive.

Please don't think this is the end of the world life is not all about exams .My son did terribly in his gcses never did any A levels went on to work in mcdonalds then started to learn to be a chef at college and got a job in a restaurant .Then when he was in his early twenties decided this was not for him .He got in at university as a mature student to do a computer science degree .went on to get a first class degree and a masters and now he has a really good job as a software developer .So you see there are always possibilities in life

The school could query his results or you can - contact the exam board. Mistakes do happen - I hope in his case there have been mistakes, good luck.

Ref courses - we all know academic quals don't always lead to a specific career, don't we? So get him onto a course he'll enjoy and it'll help him make choices. Plumbers earn as much as lawyers, for example! Project management is well paid and your gcses bear no relation to future prospects, same with procurement. Health and safety jobs don't require degrees. And there are plenty of other jobs/careers that he could get into and excel.

GCSE results don't dictate who successful you'll be, they're a stepping stone to other quals or work initially. They will soon bear little relation to work and career.

For me, the things his cv should state are not just exam results but behaviours - 100% attendance, for example.

Good luck to him.

Tell him not to worry. I took my GCSE's a year early but did not study enough and thought I would cruise through them as I was in the top class at school however I failed them all apart from the woodwork subject where I got the bottom pass grade. This was a wake up call and after that I really studied hard used to ask the teachers if I could view the data they were given by the exam boards to ensure I covered all of the boards requirements and after that I did really well. Everyone thinks you need to get good grades and go to University but employers will often assist with professional and vocational qualifications for subjects for different jobs like accounts, marketing and construction so that you can earn a salary whilst studying and those courses are well valued in each industry.

My DS was the same. He was predicted 2 grades higher in everything except maths, has 7 gcses grade 4 and 5 but the ones he needed for A Levels- English language he got a 4 and needed a 5 and maths he got a 3. We were all gutted, because he worked so hard. We spent Friday at the FE college trying to decide on alternative courses, as the vocational course he wanted to do was full. After calming down at the weekend he's decided to spend a year resitting his gcses and then reapply next year.
We are also an academic family where most people go to Uni , but the interesting thing when they found out that DS hadn't got what he hoped were all the stories. My MIL and DH failed A Levels and resat, my dbro and sil failed gcses, I sailed through both those and crashed and burned in my first year at Uni, was miserable and failed the first year. We have now all got careers and degrees.

@Kat29 so glad he has got into a course. I do think though since he has 4 passes, that it's worth looking at his results sheet and look at whether any of them are very near to the next grade boundary - in case there are one or two papers that are worth requesting to look at and then whether it's worth sending for a review of marking. There are inaccuracies of marking in some subjects and it might be if you have a couple of GCSEs near to the grade 4 boundary, they might go up on a review of marking and then he'd have 6. That would change his profile completely. You need to look at the overall marks, and then look at the component marks and see if any papers are totally uneven or indeed whether one paper might be the obvious one to send back. His original school should help you with this... and if not, put pressure on them to do so - it will help their own results go up of course, too.

I left school at 16 with 2 GCSE's and I've now got a PhD. Many boys at 16 are just not ready to do well at school - he should just get a job for a couple of years, decide what he wants to do and then, when he's ready, have another go at academia.