Son did terribly in GCSE’s

[Kat29]

My 16 year old got his GCSE results yesterday and they were awful. Everything was at least 2 grades below what he was predicted. He only passed 4 although that did include maths and English. All his plans have to do A-levels are in tatters, as is his confidence, and my confidence in my parenting ability. I just don’t know where to go from here. School didn’t care, they were too busy taking photos of their high achievers so no help there.

Don't worry about it and please try to help your son not to worry.

We're quite an academic family and my son did terribly in GCSE's but he did pass English and Maths - after I paid to get the Maths exam papers remarked. Then he went up to a 4. He was able to attend a 6th Form College and do some new subjects at GCSE level. I've told him to choose subjects he enjoys and he's gone for BTEC qualifications.

Ask around and look for options. These days what with all the debt involved in going to university sometimes it's better to go a different route. If university is really what HE wants, there are other ways to get there. His happiness is more important. And this is a big challenge so please help him regain his confidence. It may take time but he'll be stronger for it.

Education is always there no matter what age you are. This isn't a huge deal op, he's only 16 and still has plenty of time to decide if college or the working world is his next step.

I understand your disappointment for him, it’s not the path you had hoped for , maybe his friends all did well and he didn’t . But in life we all know it’s about attitude and not academics . I know some stupidly bright people, one with PHD that can’t hold down jobs or relationships. My 26 year old brother failed all his GCSE’s and dropped out of college, went to do an apprentishio with a fintech start up and is earning £80k at 26!
It’s not a disaster, it’s just different and whilst that is hard to get your head around it’s not the end of the world. My Dad went to boarding school, and then to Oxford and hated every minute of it all . As long as he works hard and enjoys whatever he does he’ll be fine . They have marked so harshly this year and also remember that people really flourish at different times in their lives. Surely he all still be able to A Levels somewhere and then university too!?

I haven't rtft, just your posts. I don't have much experience of this but just to give your son some heart, especially as he is going down the more vocational route. DH passed 0 GCSEs. Granted this was in the 90s so things may be different now. He got an apprenticeship (didn't need Maths or English for it then) and got a trade. He runs his own business, several staff and earns more than I ever did with my excellent GCSEs, A-levels, degree and further industry qualifications. He loves his job and has a great life. GCSEs are not the be all and end all. I wish your son lots of luck on his course.

Just get him into something building, surveying, electricity related.

He can easily go to uni degree with apprenticeship bulked up and spend first year after graduation working for them.

This would make him more career prospects and income than any medical/french gothic novel/architecture ever would

Aww OP, your son will bounce back. Hopefully there is a collage close by to you that he maybe able to resit those he failed. My daughter has just done an English resit alongside the course she wanted and is now onto a new career choice.

25yrs ago I aced mine, but had no idea what I wanted to do so did a levels which meant nothing to me. Took me another 20yrs, after retail work and kids, to retrain in the career I finally wanted. My husband failed most of his and is a successful plumber.

Your son will find his way and I'm sure you will support him even if it's not what you or he had initially wanted.x

Glad to hear he is sorted. And wow he's got a summer job the skills from that he will take to college.
I hope he can start college feeling positive and I hope you are proud of him for having get up and go. 🎉

Big breath. First thing - your son will be devastated. But, and I tell my students this all the time, it will be OK.
He has a few choices. College is an option, but so are retakes. I’m not sure of your ability to help him to get tutoring (in person or online), but if you are, he could retake key subjects next May/June (he could be home educated during this time.) He has maths and English, but if they are not a 5+ he may wish to sign up to college to retake them. There may be the option to retake other GCSEs too.
He may also find that an apprenticeship is interesting to him too. Or more vocational courses (remember BTECs at level 3 will allow progression to university too.) Don’t compare him to anyone else.
If he decides to resit, I know when you’re 16 an extra year sounds like eternity, but we know it’s not. If I were you, I’d arrange a meeting with the school and ask them to allow him to resit exams for free next year - remind them how far off their predictions were and suggest you will raising concerns through their complaints policy (a subject access request often worries schools too.) Obviously we - all hate causing a fuss, but any decent school will be helping him to look at options (and you don’t want to cover the cost of exams as an external candidate - costs a fortune!) They may wish to placate you by offering this for free (get it in writing.)
Ask for careers advice from the school - they must provide support. His school will be measured on the fact he is in education or training in January 2025 so they will want to ensure he has a pathway moving forward.
Give that boy a hug from all of us. Remember a door has closed. It’s not the right door right now. Other opportunities will open up. It will be OK.

There are so many careers that don't rely on traditional higher education! My mum was a project manager for a big firm and a v high earner - she couldn't afford uni so she just got a BTEC.

I also got a BTEC and got a v competitive job at an ad agency - you don't need a uni degree to become a creative director which can be high 6 figure salary.

First of all, congratulations to ds on the good results!
Lower than expected grades can feel like an absolute disaster. The feelings of disappointment and even failure can be so intense. Not only that, one can feel isolated from friends who have done as well or better than expected. Their celebrations while you're feeling awful can make one feel like an outsider.
But these horrible feelings are only natural in the face of disappointment and will certainly fade as new & different opportunities appear.
It feels like the end of the world, but it really isn't.
My best wishes for the future.

Don't panic, it's not the end of the world, and there are plenty of options still open to him...

I taught adult ed evening classes in English, first at O level and later at GCSE, for about thirteen years. Age range was from 16 to about 70. I had a lot of students who took the class after getting low grades at GCSE and all of them did better second time around. I know your DS has English and Maths, but an adult ed class in something he did poorly in is probably the least expensive and intrusive way of securing another couple of passes, and most of my students were working during the day.

My condolences to your disappointed son.....his school sounds horrid....they should be concentrating on boys like your son who need support and advice. If I were you and if it's possible, I would remove him and send him to a specialist sixth form college. it's not the end of the world.......various famous achievers have had hopeless academic results. .. I wish him all the very best for the future!!!

My GCSEs were rubbish too. Depending on what he wants to do there’s also the option of the Open University once he’s 18. No previous qualifications are needed. I completed my degree while having my second child from home x

The college will advise him and he can re-sit any that they think he needs to, please don't beat both beat yourself up about this, sometimes things happen for a reason and a new path beckons. Good luck.

I haven't read all the replies on this thread but perhaps he could look to an apprenticeiship in plumbing , joinery, heating/air conditioning. The govt/everyone has been promoting degrees as the way to go but plumbers, electrions etc are in huge demand. I know this from a personal point of view. He could develop the skills ha has from is interests and push out in a totally different direction. Each to their own.

@Buildabearbunny I completely agree. So sick of reading in our local papers about kids getting straight 9s. What about students who’ve worked really hard to achieve passes?

Personally I think as now they have to stay in education until 18, GCSEs and the grading system should be scrapped. Have a low pressure school qualification to include maths and English.

Totally agree.

Maths & English are the two key ones that are good to get.

It’s a long time ago now, but my DP did terrible at school. He wasn’t academic at all and only did ok in things like PE and CDT. He is also dyslexic and colourblind. So odds were stacked against him (especially as dyslexia wasn’t really supported in schools back in the early 90’s).

He did a YTS and now runs his own successful business.

There are far more options available now than there were when I was doing my GCSE’s. Apprenticeships, other entry courses and training etc. I re-sat my maths GCSE at college whilst doing A Levels.

The irony is every job I’ve applied for since didn’t require my GCSE results and some even got me to do separate English and maths test regardless of my GCSE results.

Whilst I know times have changed, they have changed for the better in the sense that there are more options available now than there were 30 years ago when I finished school.

Just a case of exploring those options.

Try not to worry. I’m sure he’ll be fine 💐

LOVE THIS! THIS REFRAMING IS JUST PERFECT.

@Kat29 any chance he could be dyslexic and not know it? My friend got to uni finals, genuinely cleverest person I know in a STEM course. Failed at finals due to undiagnosed dyslexia. Got diagnosed, resat and now is PHD level.

My daughter did badly in her GCSEs. 4 passes. None of the brilliant and didn’t get Maths. Plan was for her to go into A levels but it was no longer an option and linecOP, school not interested. Spoke to the local college. Got her enrolled on a level 3 Higher National Diploma course. She really found her niche! Retook Maths abd passed. Achieved 3 Distinction stars which had the same UCAS points as 3 A* at A level. Got offers for university places to do social work degree. Passed with honours and is now a senior social worker at age of 28. I am sharing this so that you know that actually, you can get a uni place with 4 GCSEs and there other qualifications other than A levels that will get you there.

I hope it works out.

Hug him, love him and support him whatever his next moves are. Kids feel so much pressure these days, but there’s no set trajectory, he can and will get there in his own time xx

This is a brilliant post and I'd love to read your interview!

I guess your role now OP, is to encourage him to write his own script....whatever that may be, there is an exciting world out there. If there are undiagnosed needs that could be addressed perhaps retakes are the way forwards. If not - what does he enjoy, what is he interested in/knowledgable about, what kind of impact does he want to make?

Please don't worry. My son has failed his exam so he can't do his last year at uni. He is depressed and angry. They'll find a way. A different way. As long as they're happy in the end.

That's great news, well done.