MN has spoken, fascinators are awful, wide headbands are OK, your thoughts on this one please

[beachwalking]

I am soon to be going to my first wedding in many a year. Will be full of young slim fashionable types. I am none of these things, being almost 50, overweight and a bit of a slob.

MN has decreed fascinators at weddings are bad. A thick headband is acceptable.

Genuine thoughts on this one please, be as brutal as you like. Maybe with a kindly offered link to anything better. Thanks.

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/982439618/

That is really chic - I love it. But do you? You really should wear what YOU like.

Bloody hell, OP. You are not frumpy - that dress you have bought is lovely and chic. And "nearly 50" is not old. Please stop being down on yourself. Yes, a 49 year old with a lovely dress can definitely wear that chic headpiece.

The dress is gorgeous. If you have a waist you are not fat and frumpy.

Beachwalking, why would you think you might look a "complete fool"?
Please get some confidence. Your dress is lovely, the head band is lovely.
If you don't feel confident, fake it. Then it might start to be real!
I guarantee you will not look a complete fool.

Those that said fascinators are awful have disappeared up their own arses.

That dress, that lovely little velvet hat - just gorgeous OP! I think you will run rings around every other guest no matter how young or old they are. You will be the best dressed person there. Beautiful, just beautiful.
But - it's a bugger that there's always a 'but' in life - but - there it is again! I'm concerned about how you talk about yourself. Just a stranger here so I apologise for going off the topic and being this blunt - please ignore if I have overstepped and put this comment up on a dart board and think no more on it. However, if you're still reading, how you are negatively talking/thinking about yourself has come from somewhere - maybe negative person(s) around you in the past and or present? You don't need that sort of talk and it's past time for no more putdowns of yourself. A few of us here have all picked up on how you are talking about yourself - a much more important thing than formal occasion dresses.
Before and after that wedding I'd like to hear that you've started saying to yourself 100 times a day, "You is kind. You is smart. You is important". (From movie The Help). You don't need to hear any more negative opinions about yourself. You're worth it no matter what you wear - a bin liner or Dior! You were invited because the happy couple want you there, not a smart outfit, not a chic ensemble or the latest notable runway designers, you the person. If you were the bride or groom how much would you care about your invited guests' outfits? Or would you just be happy to see them?
Very best wishes OP! 💐🌷 from another Size 18 67 year old!
PS: During my general nursing training I well remember when one our good honorary doctors turned up on our country hospital ward in 1984, in the middle of a freezing night in response to our urgent phone call after 01:00 am to his home 10 kilometres out of town. He arrived to help us with a cardiac arrest dressed in his flannelette pyjamas and tartan woolly dressing gown - we were VERY VERY VERY glad to see him. His outfit excited some amused but affectionate talk at the hospital dining room later in the week but respect and the highest esteem of Dr. T were the overriding emotions expressed. He epitomised the highest ideals of what it means to be a country doctor and surgeon. Doc's jimjam fashion choices don't amount to a hill of beans when the chips are down & nor should yours. How you feel about yourself is the most important thing.

I wouldn’t wear a fascinator to a wedding these days. At most I would wear something like this https://queenmee.com/products/sparkly-headband-in-navy-blue-beaded?variant=41759539036357&currency=GBP&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&srsltid=AfmBOor14Knwi_lIU4G9icmeUWsZaVjLf-7weSDfKf9VVABa1pRj-anTNck

I do think the feather one you’ve posted is nice and suits the dress though.

I love the headband, I love the dress. I'm not sure about them together though.

But I love fascinators so what would I know lol

I like it, but we have no way of knowing what it will look like on you. I'm glad you bought it, it's worth a try. But if you aren't happy with it, there is no need to wear that or anything else on your head.

I'd feel (and look) daft in that - not because there is anything wrong with it, I'm not a hat person and it just would not be 'me'.

Think style, not fashion. If you like it,.wear it. If not then don't.

I am too large to wear a teeny fascinator. I suspect I am too old and have the wrong hairstyle to look good in this. I'd still wear it if I liked it.

I’m not keen on the headband. Too Sloane ranger for me and I agree with a couple of posters that the dress (which I love) is floaty and boho and doesn’t match the headband.
I think a flower in your hair would work better personally or a sparkly clip.

"Love the dress but it’s quite boho and the headband is very formal."

I agree. To me, the headband is a completely different flavour/era/style to the floaty boho dress. They don't go together.

I want one! Don’t even have an event to wear one to. Go for it OP it is beautiful

Lovely dress!! I love the headband too, you will look great 😊

What amazing things the Etsy lady makes - makes me want a big occasion to wear one of them now but I have nothing coming up!! Not sure the weekly shop in Tesco is going to cut it! 😂

I wore one of her headbands last month at a wedding, they’re really lovely quality

The dress is lovely and i dont think you need a head piece personally. I can't understand though why fascinators are out and decreed awful and headbands are in and decreed lovely when looking at those pictures they are pretty much the same thing, just one is held on by clip and the other a band. I assume its just a matter of fashion,
but then I have neither style nor beauty so it probably goes over my head

I’m of the school that doesn’t think about fashion only what I like.
With that in mind for me it is a proper hat or a nice hairdo. No halfway house.

The dress is gorgeous!
What shoes will you be wearing?
I'm asking because I have a similar dress but no shoes (literally not one pair of feminine shoes) to wear with it.

I was thinking this, that they don't go together.

The dress is lovely on its own.

I’ve always thought that fascinators are bonkers, but then when I think about it, so are hats unless worn for practical purposes.

It’s gorgeous! Buy it!

I went to a wedding recently and hardly anyone had anything on their head. A few ladies had Fascinators but did have an old fashioned vibe. I can never see the point of a head band. I would suggest an amazing hairdresser blow dry. If your hair looks amazing you will look pulled together and polished. Think about your nails too, some amazing nail art to compliment your dress.

I like it - it’s a bazillion times better than a ghastly fascinator.

That is beautiful and good value too I think. You will look amazing.

See e.g. the prices at VV Rouleaux - much more money for similar.

Re the other thread: I've never really liked fascinators much for myself but I think it's a bit much to say that they are "over". Of course people sometimes want something extra celebratory for a wedding (to differentiate from "just" putting on a frock) and not everyone wants to wear a hat or headband!

I love both the dress and the head band, and I'm normally very difficult to please. You'll look great.