Not wearing my nice things: help me get out of this mindset!

[BrightLady]

I go mad on Vinted but never wear anything nice - I sort of hoard it "for best" and spend my days wearing the same rubbish old stuff. I don't know why I do this! Maybe it's because I'm worried about nice things getting ruined, or worried I'll miss them and not be able to replace them if they get worn. I don't know why it is but I want to stop! Help!

I have a separate standalone hanging rail that I put my current clothes on. Maybe for a few weeks or a season. Stops the out of sight out of mind and males me wear them.

We are here for a good time not a long time. Wear your nice things.
When my mum died and I sorted out her house it made me cry, the sight of her "for best" dresses shoes and bags all hanging pristine in the wardrobe.
Enjoy your lovely stuff, you are worth it. 💐

I used to do this and realised I was wearing the same comfy things all the time. I now wear my nice work dresses even when working from
home. I haven’t worn my jeans in months!

Oh bless you, I can well imagine 💐

Declutter your wardrobe and send all your usual stuff to the charity shop/recycling bin.

Then you have to wear your 'good' stuff, wear any jewellery/perfume/makeup you've stashed away too.

I think it's a mindset we get from our parents and grandparents because it was more typical to have Sunday best clothes, people had fewer clothes and less disposable income to replace them.

I’ve been guilty of this is the past and it’s such a waste.

so much better to have to bin something lovely that you’ve worn to death rather than have it go out of fashion/style/size because you were saving it for some imagined best.

after another poster asked in S&B I came across an app called Whering. You input pictures of your clothes and can create outfits etc but the thing I’m loving is that you can attribute outfits to a calender day and it gives you stats on how often you’ve worn a particular item and your price per wear.

it’s appealing to my geeky side and I’m now determined to increase the % of my wardrobe I wear. It also reminds me that I have tonnes of beautiful clothes and that slobbing around in gym kit is a waste.

I've never had 'for best' clothes. If I've bought something I want to wear it. My mum used to do this. She was constantly saving things for occasions that never happened. She passed away and there are clothes in the wardrobe from 10 years back still with tags on. Why don't you start seeing any trip out of the house as 'best'?

wear your nice stuff you only need a couple of old outfits for doing stuff that can genuinely ruin clothes painting and decorating, gardening, changing oilor tyres on a car, walking through deep mud, teaching a toddler to eat tomato sauce and spaghetti
but wear your decent stuff to go to the supermarket, the dentist, to work from home to visit your friends if you feel good you might be more confident

it is a misnomer that good clothes are uncomfortable, I don't own any items of clothing that are so uncomfortable i could not curl up on dsofa and watch tv in them

Anything slightly shabby here is relegated to gardening, anything very shabby is dumped. If I've got a really messy job then the shabbiest is worn and then binned. My wardrobe is still bursting at the seams though. Dressmaking is my favourite hobby so I've also got a drawer full of potential new outfits ( fabric pieces) I'm probably beyond help😂

I think the approach you need is to be very conscious of your need to keep things for best. Rather than just having it as a minor anxiety in the back of your mind, bring it to the front and think about your motivations actively. That will help you to realise it’s ok/good to wear your good things and actually, nothing bad will come of doing so.

I used to have this problem but it was about jewellery. I have a very expensive engagement ring and I ended up never wearing it because I was terrified of losing it or damaging it.

In the end I reassured myself that it was insured and any problems with it I could take it to the jeweller and everything could be fixed.

Now I wear it all the time (apart from sleeping) and enjoy it.

What a shame it would have been to just sit in the box for the rest of its life.

I used to be like this. I still am a little bit but I'm getting much much better. Like all PPs have said it's most likely something we've all grown up with. Keeping our good clothes and almost feeling not worthy to be looking nice on a very ordinary day. It's almost like we are worried we are getting notions above our station or something like that. I'm relaxing at home after being on holidays getting through laundry and the weather here is miserable but I've consciously dressed myself in something nice every day.

You know how sometimes you see a small girl out and about wearing a brightly coloured tutu skirt and wellies, for no reason other than the joy of it?
I try to channel that.

There is no point having the lovely things if you aren't going to wear them and enjoy it. It might be annoying, but no-one is going to tell you off if you spill something and it gets ruined.

I am so guilty of this. I have a lot of jewellery that I hardly wear and probably 90 percent of my clothes I don’t wear . Part of that is ‘I’m too fat’. I also have a lot of make up which I hardly wear either. It’s such a waste.

Wear the nice things! Channel Nora Ephron, and use the good bath oil. My gran used to have “nice perfume” she only wore for special occasions, and regular perfume for regular days. When she died there was a stash of Chanel Number 5, some still in its cellophane wrap, some that had actually turned and gone off, plus lovely matching soaps, creams etc. (She used to get it for Christmas and birthday presents) It's so sad to think she could have had her special scent every day instead of reaching for the cheapie stuff.

I haven't for for best clothes, I've got Summer clothes that I'd love to wear!

I understand this.

Put the rubbish old stuff in charity today. And wear your nice things.

I've realised I wear my rubbish stuff because I find that comfy and don't find my nice things comfy.

I also have this anxiety that I don't have any nice stuff for those special days as I find it hard to find nice comfy stuff.

For me, I think, I need to find nice comfy clothes and get rid of everything else.

It's (in my experience) a hangover from previous generations when wearing/using new or good items other than "for best" was seen as profligate and wasteful. Make do and mend lasted long after the war in people's minds.

Is it because the “nice” stuff isn’t as comfy/easy to put together/suitable for your lifestyle as the older stuff?

If that isn’t it then I’d plan out your clothes for the next day in advance making sure you add in the nicer stuff. Or mix it in gradually like comfy old jeans, nice new jumper.

One of the best things I did was start wearing my nice stuff everyday. You do have to be a little brave to start wearing a dress or blazer, etc if you’re a jeans/tshirt person, but once you’ve done it once, it’ll become easier.

I also found having a body analysis and colour season analysis helped because then I brought clothes that suited me.

All of this makes sense and I think all of these reasons are the case. I'm going to have to consciously force myself not to revert to the comfy old stuff. The mad thing is, it doesn't stop me buying new things - I just don't wear them!

I've always done this and have never managed to break the habit. I've recently lost a lot of weight and still don't wear the nice stuff I've bought. I wear the same stuff all the time.

It's such a waste of money having unworn clothing, but it really is difficult to change how you've always done something.

I also hoard other things for best such as expensive perfumes and dream of one day only having what I actually need.

I do this too OP! I think in my case it was because I only had mostly hand me downs during childhood and I was very poor indeed when my children were little, so there was no money for new clothes, just things people gave me and jumble sale clothing.

Now that I earn my own money, I buy some really lovely clothes, but I don't dare wear them for fear of ruining them! Crazy!

I get it, OP. I have new wide legged jeans and some lovely trainers, plus a couple of new bags, but can’t bring myself to wear them. I don’t know why.

I don’t save things for best. If I died tomorrow I will be wearing my expensive perfume and jewellery and wearing my favourite dress rather than having it hidden in jewellery boxes or wardrobes for my family to sort through.

Why have it if you never wear it?