Partner who lives with me

[Bamby1113]

I’m just curious on what peoples views are on this ..
I have been with my partner for many years.
he’s lived with me for 5.
i did give up my own house and move in with him for a year to which I contributed £800 pcm.
he always complained that I didn’t contribute enough so after a year I moved back out and got my own place again.

he lives with me again now and his house is empty. He chooses not to rent it he wants to leave it empty there for he does still have bills.

I work , I have children & he does live with live with me for free.
should he contribute to maybe some weekly food shop or not ?

I think you should pay for everything

He should be paying the cost of him living there e.g. towards the extra food he costs, any extra electric, council tax if you are no longer getting a 25% discount. He shouldn't pay "rent".

Well unless he's contributed in other ways, he owes you £800 pm for a year for a start.....

At the very least he should cover the extra cost of feeding him, bearing in mind that generally men cost more to feed than women (eat more and often eat a lot more meat), plus cover the lost council tax discount and a token towards extra gas, electric water and general wear and tear. Then obviously cover his own transport costs, mobile and any subscriptions he chooses to pay for. And contribute to the running of the household and lighten your load, not add to it.

The fact that he's happy to let his house sit empty is immaterial, that's his choice.

The hypocritical double standard is very obvious here.
You have yourself a grade 1 CF cocklodger

Did you Really pay him $800 per month. And is he living with you for free?

Did I read you right?

If that’s the case, you need your head read. If he charged you $800 pcm, charge the same to him? He should be paying council tax, for a share of the roof over his head, for the water, the electricity and the tv licence he uses. Does he not even pay for the food he eats?

Are you OP’s partner?

Half of all utilities and food and a nominal rent

Hahahaha. No.

He should pay towards his living costs as he would if he rented somewhere else - food, bills etc.

So he made you pay but he doesnt

why is his house empty

i would rethink this but yes he should be contributing to food and bills

He should pay towards the food shop and a proportion of council tax, water, electric, gas, WIFI, TV packages, TV licence etc Work out roughly how much you pay each month for bills then work out a percentage for him to pay.

How many children did you take to live with him?
Did you rent your own house out during that year?

Obviously it makes no sense that you contributed £800pcm in his house but he doesn’t want to contribute a penny in yours.

Definitely he should contribute to food costs! Is your home now his permanent home? If so, 50% of all the running costs as a baseline, perhaps with adjustment if one of you has higher income than the other. Does he work? Why does he want his house to sit empty? Do you hav3 a mortgage or is it a rented house?

Really struggling to understand how he complained that £800 a month wasn’t enough when you lived at his place, but he now pays you nothing. What’s his reasoning there?

What@TheSandgroper said

What was the £800 for? Did you pay towards his mortgage or pay over the odds for bills? Why have you let him move in and pay nothing?

i paid him £400 that was half the mortgage and towards council tax and also £100 a week food shopping for me , him and the children.

And the other £300?

He does pay for a takeaway on a Sunday and he says that’s his way of contributing. 🙈

I think it’s gone on for so many years I have just come naive to it all.

Yet another woman prioritising a fucking useless man over her own children.
Is the sex good??

Why the fuck were you paying his mortgage? How many £400 mortgage payments did you make him? He owes you that back plus interest, the grasping twat

£100 weekly for food shopping
£400 and also the £400 for bills :)

Around 12 months I lived with him
but things got out of control as I apparently wasn’t paying enough so I decided to move out of his and get my self a new place. To which we got back together and he decided to move back in here. 😏

That's £900 but how on earth did he justify £400 per month for bills?

That must be a hell of a takeaway.

How much cooking, cleaning, laundry, gardening, DIY and life admin does he do?

Is there a serious backstop involving a degree of trauma we should be sensible to that allowed youbto get to this point of utter stupidity and ridiculousness?

I think we can all draw our own conclusions on that score.