Partner who lives with me

[Bamby1113]

I’m just curious on what peoples views are on this ..
I have been with my partner for many years.
he’s lived with me for 5.
i did give up my own house and move in with him for a year to which I contributed £800 pcm.
he always complained that I didn’t contribute enough so after a year I moved back out and got my own place again.

he lives with me again now and his house is empty. He chooses not to rent it he wants to leave it empty there for he does still have bills.

I work , I have children & he does live with live with me for free.
should he contribute to maybe some weekly food shop or not ?

I think you go blind to it all after a while … is it really worth the arguments ..

Your updates do you no favours.

I think I speak for any number of women here who are thinking “I don’t want to kick a woman when she’s down but …”.

I will say congratulations for thinking something is wrong and coming on here to check. It’s a difficult step to take. And the comments you get on here will be even more difficult to read.

But, it’s time for you to live on your own, create a happy home for your little family. If you have been able to live ok while paying for His Lordship, put every penny you would have spent on him into savings. In 12 months, you won’t know yourself.

Do you? So day 1? You didn't set this out?!

please stand up for your self and your children. How can you be attracted to such a tight fucker

He owes you £4800 plus interest. Call it £5k. If I were you I would write it off as a loss when you dump his greedy arse and use it as a life lesson. Never pay someone else's mortgage when you are in a relationship with them!!

I don't understand why you're being so passive and doing all these cute smiley faces. This man might as well be stealing from you and your kids, in fact that's basically what he's doing, and you're letting him. Please put a stop to it for your children's sake, and ask yourself why it's so important to you to have a man, even a useless one who steals from you, in your life.

@cupcaske123 OP paid £100 per week food plus £400 per month mortgage contribution. That's about £800 pm.

OP he contributes or he moves out. He's a CF.

Oh my god op just tell him to leave now, this minute, and he can come back if he’s back paid 800 for each month. He kicked you out for ONLY paying 800, by his rules you should have kicked him out and set all his stuff on fire for not paying anything!! His house and the costs of it are not. Your. Problem. He’s keeping it empty because hes a prize dick who thinks you can support him.

Do you actually want him to live in your house?
Presumably your bills have increased.
There is an alternative to arguing about this? (He moves out again...)

If course it's worth the arguments when you have less money for your children.

This

Open your eyes and see the reality!

Why are you subsidising his life at the expense of you and your kids?

Madness.

I think he's taken advantage of your basic cognitive abilities and common sense, which are obviously somewhat lacking. Listen to the good advice on this thread - although why you needed to ask I just can't imagine - and finish it with him. You deserve better.

Thank you I appreciate that x

So you paying £900 a month wasn’t enough bit him paying anything is too much. Really?

It's really not that difficult, the OP has set it out clearly over her 2 posts. It's £400 for half the mortgage and part council tax. Then a further £100 per week on a food shop. You times that £100 x 4 to give a rough monthly figure of £400. Then you add the two £400s together to get a total of £800 she contributed monthly.

It's £100 per WEEK. I thought it was per month.

He feels entitled for you to subsidise him financially. Are you a very high earner OP?

If you can't talk to him about this sort of thing then why are you living together?

I survive on a job paying minimum wage so absolutely not a high earner unfortunately.

Wow proper cocklodger there.....

I think you go blind to it all after a while … is it really worth the arguments

Yes of course it is worth arguing about!
Why are you so passive?

Why do you have such a fundamental aversion to arguments? Are you scared of him? Did your parents argue?

Do you just agree to anything for a quiet life with lots of sex?

CF of the highest order. If u were paying 800 pound a month, how did u allow him.to.live with u and pay nowt? Get rid

Love this!! ^^

Give your head a wobble woman! This is 2024 and he’s a co*k lodger.

I’ve heard it all now .

I did tell him to leave last night and go and live with somebody else for free to which he thew £20 pound at me , we slept in diffent bedrooms & when I woke up this morning he had left for work & taken the £20 🙈