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Original poster

Partner who lives with me

129 replies

Bamby1113 · 08/08/2024 08:19

I’m just curious on what peoples views are on this ..
I have been with my partner for many years.
he’s lived with me for 5.
i did give up my own house and move in with him for a year to which I contributed £800 pcm.
he always complained that I didn’t contribute enough so after a year I moved back out and got my own place again.

he lives with me again now and his house is empty. He chooses not to rent it he wants to leave it empty there for he does still have bills.

I work , I have children & he does live with live with me for free.
should he contribute to maybe some weekly food shop or not ?

OP posts:
MrBallensWife · 08/08/2024 10:49

Why are you allowing this man to take money from your children?,because essentially that's what he's doing while you're allowing him to live there rent free?.
He gives the word Hypocrite new meaning and he's taking the piss on a whole new level.
Wise up sister and get this man out today.

Uselesssil · 08/08/2024 11:01

He’s using you @Bamby1113. As already advised, pack his stuff up and get locks changed today. If his house is empty (are you sure it is and not let out, to make him some more money?), he can collect his things and move back in there today.

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 08/08/2024 11:02

when I bring it up to him he don’t see it’s unfair

Oh of course he does. But he's sly and able to swing things round so - let me guess - it's unfair of you to even ask?

What an absolute shitbag he is. Although the fact he took the £20 back made me laugh.

grapesstrawberriesplease · 08/08/2024 11:06

So you’re essentially being taken advantage of by a freeloader? How can you allow this? You paid him £800pcm but he’s living totally free? Surely this can’t be real.

BodenCardiganNot · 08/08/2024 11:08

I think posters are wasting their time. The op has no intention of getting rid of him. I will spare my pity for her children with a mother who doesn't seem to give a shit about them as long as she is able to have a man no matter how badly he treats her.

MostlyHappyMummy · 08/08/2024 11:11

BodenCardiganNot · 08/08/2024 11:08

I think posters are wasting their time. The op has no intention of getting rid of him. I will spare my pity for her children with a mother who doesn't seem to give a shit about them as long as she is able to have a man no matter how badly he treats her.

Unfortunately unless every other thread is made up then this is something many many women do

Crunchymum · 08/08/2024 11:29

Do the children live with you? Is he their father?

Not that it makes a jot of difference - think what kind of example you setting your DC when they see you allowing yourself to be treated this way.

Bag his shit up and tell him to piss off back to his empty house.

KreedKafer · 08/08/2024 12:21

My view is that this relationship sounds extremely unhealthy.

You moved in with him and then he got annoyed that you didn't contribute enough so you moved out, and now he's moved in with you and you're arguing over who pays the bill in Tesco every week. This isn't what I'd call a harmonious love match.

CatherineofAmazon · 08/08/2024 12:26

Have you actually said to him How come I paid you £800 when I lived at yours(and you said that was not enough) but now the situation is reversed you don’t think you should contribute.
Is he trying to claw back the extra money he thought he should have had from you by not paying you anything now?
He’s taking the absolute piss out of you OP.
Kick him out and end the relationship.
You sound far too nice to be with a tight arsed cocklodger.

Original poster
Bamby1113 · 08/08/2024 12:44

CatherineofAmazon · 08/08/2024 12:26

Have you actually said to him How come I paid you £800 when I lived at yours(and you said that was not enough) but now the situation is reversed you don’t think you should contribute.
Is he trying to claw back the extra money he thought he should have had from you by not paying you anything now?
He’s taking the absolute piss out of you OP.
Kick him out and end the relationship.
You sound far too nice to be with a tight arsed cocklodger.

Thank you xx

OP posts:
Normallynumb · 08/08/2024 13:13

He's taking the absolute piss
You paid a sizeable amount to live with him, yet he lives with you for nothing?..
He's even taken his £20 STFU money back!!
Get rid of this leech today
Concentrate on your DC
I'm glad you've had a wake up call now
Do NOT let him back in
Change locks if he has a key.

Princessfluffy · 08/08/2024 14:37

If you are receiving UC is he living with you without the knowledge of DWP?

Because if his earnings are being assessed as your income but he gives you nothing then you and your kids will presumably be a lot better off financially if he moves out?

Princessfluffy · 08/08/2024 14:38

This guy seems parasitic OP.

pinkyredrose · 08/08/2024 15:33

To which we got back together and he decided to move back in here. 😏

Didn't you have any say in your own house?

Purplecatshopaholic · 08/08/2024 15:43

Why are you putting up with this op? You paid him, but now he’s not paying you when the situation is reversed. And you are putting up with this? FFS wise up woman!

Therealjudgejudy · 08/08/2024 15:44

You are bankrolling a parasite.

Just why???

Terrible example you are setting for your kids.

RaspberryBeretxx · 08/08/2024 15:50

He knows it’s unfair that you contributed £800 when at his and he contributes £0, he just feels entitled to contribute £0 and keep all his money for himself.

very good news he didnt rent his house out as he can move straight back in there! Really don’t back down on this. He’s taking money from your children.

Scottsy200 · 12/08/2024 21:57

So when you lived with him you paid £800 per month now he lives with you and pays nothing??

i think the answer is in the question my dear

Kittyloulou · 12/08/2024 21:59

This has got to be a wind up

74Violette · 12/08/2024 22:05

I am failing to see what the point is of him living with you. Does he do all the housework? Great at diy? Odd jobs? There has to be some asset to this freeloader surely.

Lotsofsnacks · 12/08/2024 22:35

Are you serious OP???!! I’m furious for you, please wake up!!! He charged you £800 a month, said it wasn’t enough, you moved out, then he moved in with you, but refuses to contribute, and you ask if unreasonable? He is a nasty CF! he’s no loving partner, get rid and look after your beautiful little family only

Ohnobackagain · 12/08/2024 23:03

@Bamby1113 have the conversation someone else up thread suggested about why was it fair for you to give him over £800 a month and he does nothing, then wait for him to go out, pack his stuff, dump it outside and change the locks. He is a cheeky F.

FerreroFan · 12/08/2024 23:08

Bamby1113 · 08/08/2024 09:13

I think you go blind to it all after a while … is it really worth the arguments ..

Show quote history

It is worth the arguments if you have kids. You paying for him is like taking money away from your own kids. Let him pay for himself.

outdamnedspots · 12/08/2024 23:14

DeathByResponsibilities · 08/08/2024 08:35

The hypocritical double standard is very obvious here.
You have yourself a grade 1 CF cocklodger

This!

Shadylady52 · 12/08/2024 23:24

Mug mug mug. Get him to move back to his own house. Pay his own bills do his own washing. He is USING YOU

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