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Original poster

Partner who lives with me

129 replies

Bamby1113 · 08/08/2024 08:19

I’m just curious on what peoples views are on this ..
I have been with my partner for many years.
he’s lived with me for 5.
i did give up my own house and move in with him for a year to which I contributed £800 pcm.
he always complained that I didn’t contribute enough so after a year I moved back out and got my own place again.

he lives with me again now and his house is empty. He chooses not to rent it he wants to leave it empty there for he does still have bills.

I work , I have children & he does live with live with me for free.
should he contribute to maybe some weekly food shop or not ?

OP posts:
GreenFields07 · 12/08/2024 23:25

I read some of the posts on here sometimes and genuinely question whether they can possibly be real. This is so unbelievable its scary to think its true! How do so many people accept such shithousery from their partners. OP you need to take some responsibility here because you're allowing this parasite to treat you like this and its gone on for far too long. You know its unreasonable, you know it cant continue. You know he's completely mugging you off and taking money from your children but are you actually going to do anything about it? Please tell me you've kicked him out and never to speak to him ever again.

Vonesk · 12/08/2024 23:46

You answered your own question early in the transcript. 800 per month minimum.

Vonesk · 12/08/2024 23:53

I should ' gaslight' the £u¢£€π...... Pretend youre getting The builders in for major renovations and you all need to hang out at his place for a few months. When hes got most of his stuff out- CHANGE THE LOCKS.

CaptainBolt · 13/08/2024 00:10

ByCupidStunt · 08/08/2024 08:26

I think you should pay for everything

Agree.

Why should he pay for food? Everyone knows that only women pay for food!

Snowflake2 · 13/08/2024 00:37

I think you should kick him out because he's a dickhead. He charged you £800pcm and moaned that it wasn't enough?! Then thinks he should live with you for free not even buying food. He is most definitely NOT a keeper OP. He doesn't believe in equality, he's a user (he used you for cash and now he's using you for free rent) and that's very disrespectful. You can do better that that. Find some who is actually nice and cares about you, not what he can get out of you.

Snowflake2 · 13/08/2024 00:52

Bamby1113 · 08/08/2024 09:13

I think you go blind to it all after a while … is it really worth the arguments ..

Show quote history

Well no, it's not worth the arguments. Which is why, when you come across such a low life specimen, you don't waste your precious time and energy trying to convince them you're right or trying to get them to see the error of their ways. You just kick them to the kerb and move on.

It doesn't matter if you've got DC or not, nobody should be putting up with being treated badly, nobody deserves that. If a relationship is full of arguments or resentment, it's a bad relationship. Love or golden balls and a donkey dick is not enough. You need respect and kindness too. If you don't have those, you have nothing.

Edingril · 13/08/2024 01:01

If this is behaviour you accept why would they be any different why you actually want a relationship with this person is beyond me

Doingmybest12 · 13/08/2024 01:10

OP, this is crazy. He is a free loader. Well done on moving out of his to your own place, now move him out from yours.

Doingmybest12 · 13/08/2024 01:11

He's not a partner in your relationship.

RedRoss86 · 13/08/2024 04:25

Bamby1113 · 08/08/2024 09:49

I did tell him to leave last night and go and live with somebody else for free to which he thew £20 pound at me , we slept in diffent bedrooms & when I woke up this morning he had left for work & taken the £20 🙈

Edited

That is disgusting behaviour. Don't allow someone to treat you that way.

You've realised this situation is a piss take. You've taken a big step asking him to leave. Don't back down now.
Think of yourself & your children.

Mazpaz · 13/08/2024 05:54

Why are you still with him
what a hypocrite and a freeloader
you deserve much better

Welshmonster · 13/08/2024 07:00

mumsnet has voted. Pack his bits up and get his keys back.
put a universal credit claim in as a single person as you will definitely get a discount on council tax.

Ihateusernames91 · 13/08/2024 09:24

Why are you still with him?
He sounds like a leech. He should be paying for half the rent, half the bills, half the groceries at the very least. He's getting a free ride down easy street and you've been allowing it. You don't have a partner, you have an extra child who throws a tantrum when you ask for the bare minimum.

Dancygigglebox · 13/08/2024 10:39

Op states plus £100 a week for food. That adds up to £800 a month.

Jojojen1984 · 13/08/2024 12:41

The more posts I read on here, the more I believe are made up for traffic.

Manthide · 13/08/2024 20:44

Jojojen1984 · 13/08/2024 12:41

The more posts I read on here, the more I believe are made up for traffic.

I should tell my story one day!!

JackSwain · 13/08/2024 21:02

i would give your partner an ultimatum to either rent out his house and pay you money to live with you food and bills etc, or move back to his own house

Candystore22 · 14/08/2024 07:03

You paid £800 a month when you lived with him.
He complained it wasn’t enough.
He pays you nothing while living with you.

Why did you not talk the financials through before he moved in with you?

Honestly? It sounds like he’s taking the piss. I think he should move back to his own place and you guys need to discuss finances BEFORE moving in together again.

FedUpMumof10YO · 14/08/2024 07:22

Oh OP please wake up. Quick. x

Lotty101 · 14/08/2024 09:14

So he took £800 a month off you, moaned that wasn’t enough and then expects to live with you for free?? He could rent his house out or live in it - the fact he’s chosen to do neither is no your problem. Tell him to cough up or clear out, you’re not his mother. Partner is meant to mean equals and support one another not one free load off the other. My OH still has his flat (we are both of the once bitten twice shy feeling from giving up our homes for relationships) but he more or less lives at mine. We pay our own rents but he contributes to food and the household (does fair share of chores, cooking etc.) and you better believe he’d be out the door if he didn’t!

Carebearsonmybed · 14/08/2024 09:16

Dictionary definition of cocklodger.

Phoenixfire1988 · 14/08/2024 14:27

Are you right in the head he's living there for absolutely fk all but £800 wasn't enough when you lived with him ? Do you have mug tattood on your head he saw you coming didn't he .
Stop being an idiot and putting up with this sponging loser

MilkyCappuchino · 14/08/2024 14:31

Stop with that partner thing, women. Do get married , with the right person.

Sahj123 · 14/08/2024 15:41

He saw you coming a mile away!!!

This cannot be real!? This is definitely a bait post because I refuse to believe the level of stupidity I have just read is true.

£800pcm!? He needs to pay that back for a start, then on top of that, council tax, food, bills etc to be split. What a joke!

MrsMum9 · 15/08/2024 00:30

ByCupidStunt · 08/08/2024 08:26

I think you should pay for everything

Definitely, I agree! Why should he pay for anything once she’s kicked him out and told him the relationship that never really was is now over and he can leech off someone else!