Do they really "only get more expensive?"

[nanodyne]

I see this mentioned a lot in relation to kids, is it actually true? At their most expensive (so far) we've paid ~£1.5k for 4 days a week in a nursery and this takes into account the available funded hours and "tax-free" (🙄) allocation. Do teenagers seriously cost more than this per month..?! This is only the childcare component obviously, not including the clothes they're getting through at a rate of knots, the vast amounts of fruit/food they both consume/throw on the floor/smear on the cat, day trips at the weekends, classes on my day off with them etc..

Is this just something people who had kids before childcare became more than a mortgage say? I'm partly incredulous, partly panicking!

It depends. So if you use family for childcare and pay very little then yes, they get more expensive. If you’re paying as much as you are for childcare then probably not (unless you then pay school fees or your child competes in a sport at a national level!).

I think 20 years ago, when childcare seems to have been more reasonable, then this was probably true. I also think that for many people primary is cheaper than either preschool or teens.

I think the people who say that, are the people who don't pay full time nursery costs. So many don't for all sorts of reasons - sahp, or childcare related benefits I think is 80% if you're on UC, or tax savings on childcare.

But obviously if you're paying £80 a day in childcare for nursery, there's not many teenagers who would cost more than that (though some would - private school, horse riding lessons etc).

No, for people like you who are paying full whack for childcare, they don't get more expensive (unless of course you go for private schools).

A lot of people aren't paying much (or anything) for childcare, in which case yes, everything else gets more expensive over time.

Uni....(although maybe that will change by the time your LOs are older)

when the teenagers of today were in nursery, those costs were significantly cheaper than they are today.

my teens definitely cost more than their childcare costs used to be.

For me teens and uni stage was more expensive but childcare 20 years ago I think was proportionately less than what it is now plus my mum looked after Dd 2 days a week. Nursery was £24 a day iirc. Though we didn’t get any child tax credits so had to pay for it without that.

It depends. We spent nothing on nursery fees as I was a sahm. We were part of a community circle where clothes etc were handed on and then on again. So quite low costs to start with.

We then spent an utter fortune on extra curricular activities. DS is now a professional in his chosen activity so no regrets. Both benefitted hugely from what they chose to do.

Then there is the housing crisis, we, and they, have been grateful that we were in a position to give substantial sums towards deposits.

So every child will be different. But my 2 teenagers cost about £1200 a month I think. I'll just loosely work it out now. £400 food. £100 swim club. £200 school bus pass. £200 dance. £100 phone and clothes. Usually some trip at school or averaged. £200.
So that's £1200 before I start thinking about the additional extras, or holidays, or housing costs, or presents, or friends birthdays.

Well childcare is expensive, for sure. In the early years that's the main expense.

Then, when they are older they don't need paid care, but their spending habits increase - clothes, trainers, money for going out, sports clubs, extra bedroom on holiday....Yes, they can work....mine have had holiday jobs from 16 which have paid for the fun things, but they still need some financial support.

University age - we have had to pay accommodation for both DDs because the student loan doesn't cover it. That's £5,000-7,000 per year, per child....plus help to buy a car etc etc.

The suddenly the day arrives when they move off the payroll - happy days! DS moved out a few years ago, and DD1 has just started a full-time job - she will actually be paying US rent from next month as she's still living at home. Just a year of supporting DD2 left, but we can see the light at the end of a very expensive tunnel.

No they don't, that is ridiculous! I've had three and never earned the equivalent of £4.5k per month for a family of 5!! The trick is to bring them up in a way that they are used to budgeting. My kids did get everything they wanted but knew from very young that if expensive they had to save/wait for it! They all grew up to be very good with their money........I'd say the most expensive thing is the food bill for teenage boys but you can also mitigate this by cooking from scratch and teaching them how to make food themselves rather than reaching for expensive snacks and takeaways.

I think full time nursery is when it probably peaks
after that and as teenagers it really depends what hobbies/activities they’re into and how much they’re into shopping etc.
but at least when they’re older you can cut your cloth accordingly and explain if you haven’t got money for stuff

if you include uni years then yes they get more expensive.

teen years can also be brutally expensive, but I guess like all things you cut your cloth. If you have to find £2k pcm for childcare because that is the only way you can work, then that’s what you make happen.

whether you choose to keep teens daughters in highlights and teen boys in chicken breasts and gym memberships (my biggest expenditures) is more a matter of choice. I do because these things are very “normal” within DCs circles.

See the thing is it’s that you start getting used to the money you hadn’t got coming in due to childcare and then you start getting hit with different costs but inside and out of school and very regularly. Plus clothes costs more, food costs more etc etc So you’re probably right, you’re at your most expensive time, but every age is expensive in some way!!

Also remember that by the time you get to the teen stage of helping with uni costs, larger grocery bills,wanting a pair of Nike trainers the chances are your earnings will have increased via promotions.

We'll be out of the nursery years next Sept, I'm really hoping that's the worst until uni. Two good salaries coming in, cheap area, and feck all left at the end of most months.

My DC are 17 and 15 now. Childcare was expensive, then we had a dip in costs but it's ramping back up now with university on the horizon, paying adult fares, the endless intake of food and demands for way more expensive things.

Depends on childcare. We have no family support at all and DS1 has disabilities so childcare was extortionate. Now they are in a private school (DS2 has/had a bursary) and school costs are about go up by £8 k thanks to VAT (and we may lose the bursary).

It depends how much you choose to spend. Not everyone has huge childcare bills. Some people haemorrhage cash on hugely expensive hobbies for their DC, some have all the latest gadgets. I have a friend who paid for their DDs uni costs (tuition and living expenses) so she didn’t get saddled with student debt, and then paid for her masters and her rent plus an allowance, in London while she did it.

We were far more frugal with our DCs but did give them a substantial deposit to buy their first homes, but again that was a choice.

Yes. Especially with the expectation for parents to now help with deposits.

For teenagers things like driving lessons, car insurance and uni really do add up on a monthly basis. One off things like holidays get more expensive once they want their own room. But each family is different on what they can spend.

When you are paying for childcare I would say it is high, then goes down between age 4-10ish, then goes up again.

No they don't. Nursery is the most expensive

I think when you're paying that amount for childcare, probably not - unless of course as a PP says you are paying for private school which obviously could be an awful lot more.
But for an "average" teenager I would say not. I don't think I have regularly spent that much on any of mine, and they've all had quite expensive hobbies. Yes, there are large expenses periodically - car insurance is quite painful for instance - but I don't think my spend per child amounts to £18k per year. Not overall anyway. There have probably been occasional years which have included big purchases like a car that have crossed that, but definitely not every year.
I think you notice big expenses more than steady trickles too. Off the top of my head I would say my sporty child has cost more than my musical one but I am not sure that if I sat down and calculated everything if that would actually be true. I suspect the relatively modest monthly direct debit to the music teacher doesn't seem as much as the "How much?!😱" moments when big bits of sports kit needs replacing. Also you maybe notice teenage expenses more because they are actually asking for stuff rather than a small child when it's you who is deciding what is necessary/desirable. But it is of course OK to say no!
I would agree that primary years were our least expensive as there was less to spend on childcare but hobbies etc were still relatively inexpensive. For us, later teenage years were fairly expensive as living rurally driving is pretty much essential.

If you are taking it literally then no, compared with childcare costs, tweens/teens are not more expensive. However, on a day to day basis, the things they want/enjoy are more expensive. When DD was 5, a day out would be a trip to the swings and an ice cream - That certainly wouldn't cut ice with my now eleven year old. Clothes and Christmas presents were cheaper and often second hand, now my DD has her own opinions on fashion which are far more expensive. Even little things like a happy meal from Mcdonalds is £3 - My eleven year-old's plant-based adult meal is £7. Maybe it just feels more expensive because the money drips out everyday...

It depends from family to family - but for us no it has never been as expensive as paying full time nursery fees, and we do have teenagers now.