Do they really "only get more expensive?"

[nanodyne]

I see this mentioned a lot in relation to kids, is it actually true? At their most expensive (so far) we've paid ~£1.5k for 4 days a week in a nursery and this takes into account the available funded hours and "tax-free" (🙄) allocation. Do teenagers seriously cost more than this per month..?! This is only the childcare component obviously, not including the clothes they're getting through at a rate of knots, the vast amounts of fruit/food they both consume/throw on the floor/smear on the cat, day trips at the weekends, classes on my day off with them etc..

Is this just something people who had kids before childcare became more than a mortgage say? I'm partly incredulous, partly panicking!

The OP is spending £1500 a month in nursery fees. That’s more than £15k a year.
i really dint think that, even accounting for a trip to Iceland (and my dcs have done a few if those….), many people are spending these amount per year on their teen.

My 12 year old is bleeding me dry rhis summer hols so on a day to day basis l would say yes!

Of course teenagers (excluding university) don't cost anywhere near at much.

No childcare = not able to work/pay mortgage. SAHP/PT = no/reduced income. Unless there is family childcare it's a compulsory cost.

14 year old Sammy not being able to continue horse riding or not going to the school skiing trip= optional spending which Sammy is lucky to get but it's not a big deal if it doesn't happen.

You can't compare nursery and Sammys skiing trip. It's precisely because you aren't paying childcare that many families can afford to spend that discretionary income on Sammy.

Bonkers.

Not everyone has those nursery costs so no.
My Dc1 did 1 morning a week at nursery until free hours at age 3. DC2 didn't go to nursery until the free hours age 3. So our childcare costs were minimal. My DC1 wants a Nintendo switch for Christmas so I'd say this will be the most expensive year for Christmas so far, as when they were younger we didn't have to by expensive things like that

Maybe the phrase works out if you don't include childcare costs into it

Childcare alone was £24k per annum for us before my youngest started school. (And that was for 4 days a week, so add a further 20% reduction in my salary to costs.) I'm not seeing teenagers costing more than that unless we go private school, which we don't intend.

But removing the cost of childcare and including Christmas presents is like removing the mortgage costs for housing but including the cost of pot plants.

I think it’s more the phrase works out if you don’t or barely use paid childcare. Then again, you also have to consider loss of income too.

But if you use FT paid childcare, it’s a massive cost and unless you move onto private schooling, you aren’t going to find the later years more expensive.

Full time nursery for 3 under 2 is £6k per month for us. We’re not going to be spending that monthly when they are older.

There are various stages though - baby stage, someone on reduced or no pay. Toddler stage - either someone at home or large nursery fees (unless have family who do it for free). Primary school stage - much cheaper, possibly before and after school care and holiday clubs. Teens - no childcare, but clothes/food/holidays/trips out much more expensive than doing the same with younger dc. Young adults - maybe uni expenses, or living at home still but hopefully with a job, I'm hoping it reduces a lot then!

It's because university fees are about £6k a year if your child doesn't get full loan.

Teens also eat their way through your food shop and especially boys.

I've got one sitting a car theory test this week, yes teens are expensive!

All of mine paid for tests, and lessons out of the money they earned though, so that isn't a parental cost, unless you choose to give them that money.

You have no choice about childcare or sacrificing a salary.

Exactly

Er…. University fees are more like £9k. And are covered through student finances fir everyone.
Then you have living cost with a student loan of up to £9k per year. This is dependent on the parents wages. Minimum is around £4K with parents expected to make the shortfall.
My dcs live on that with no issues
But the max a parent would end up contributing is £5k, about 1/3 of what the OP is currently paying.

He's paying for lessons out of his own pocket. Definitely can't afford that, tbf.

My son is 21. So 20 years ago, I used to pay £863 a month for his full time nursery. Now I pay £1200 for his student room in London. So yes, he's got more expensive. The teenage years, while he lived at home were not too bad

In terms of student loans, the maintenance loans haven't gone up in line with rent, and they are means tested- in most families with 2 full time working parents, the loan a child gets won't cover their accommodation costs, let alone other living expenses. The current expectation is that parents contribute. In 15 years time, this may have changed again, though!

Yes, teenagers can get jobs, but most parents do help out in the uni years a bit, especially with e.g one off big expenses like deposits etc, which students often can't afford up front.

That said, I'm not sure it's as crippling as childcare is now!

I do think when you factor in childcare etc, this is probably the most expensive time, but equally during the teen years you may have to factor in higher housing costs (they literally take up more space, even if sharing a room), higher bills (using electronics + long showers + heating on in the day if they are at home and you're not etc), higher food bills- teen boys genuinely may need over 3000 calories a day, plus the things they want are more expensive- at e.g. 13/14, it's hard to say they need to pay a phone contract themselves, or similar. And that's without factoring in an expensive hobby!

I think after nursery, there is probably a dip in costs (although if you need wrap around childcare, maybe not as much as you would hope)- maybe around 10/11 or similar is a cheaper age, as less childcare may be needed, plus they may not have such expensive tastes yet. I think once they hit secondary school, costs can start to increase again, probably peaking around 16-19!

However, as others have said, you can at least have sensible conversations with teens about what is/isn't affordable, whereas childcare your options are very limited!

I do agree there shouldn't be any obligation on parents to pay. That said, I teach in a rural area where job opportunities for teens are often limited until they've got a car, so it can be a bit of a catch 22. In that scenario, it can make sense for parents to pay, as it also reduces the amount of ferrying around they have to do!

I'd also say by Y13, many parents don't want their children working a huge number of hours, so for those who are 17 later in the (academic) year, some parents will pay for that reason too.

Obviously it all depends on what you can afford, and of course some students I teach don't learn to drive because neither they nor their parents can afford it. But equally if all their friends' parents are at least contributing, there is some social pressure to help!

We had to pay for Uni accommodation in London which is around £1k a month.

I found primary school age expensive as you have to pay for all the clubs and hobbies. At secondary school it was all provided by the school and was free.

For us it wasn't the case, but my kids were never into brands and didn't ask for expensive presents.

£850 in 2005 is no equivalent to £1600 in today’s money.

So actually it’s still less.

That's just accommodation. There are other expenses such as travel costs, Insurance, computers etc which her didn't need as a baby. His appetite is also larger 🙂

There nothing that you have to spend in quite the way that you have to spend on childcare. But DD’s music lessons alone cost us about £4500 a year, and then there are other chunky expenses like school trips, choir tour and so on. And summer activities cost quite a bit, although that’s more variable- but keeping a mid-teen occupied costs lot more than a primary age holiday club. And she has much more extravagant ideas about holidays then she did as a younger child. Our childcare bills were only 2 days a week of nursery as DH was part time then, so she’s definitely more expensive as a teen.

It’s all a choice: we don’t have to do anything other than feed and clothe her, but we want her to develop her talents and do worthwhile things, and we want memories of lovely family holidays.

I'm still at the primary-aged stage, so don't quote me, (get my knowledge from work colleagues with uni-age DC) but as far as I'm aware, the amount of loan a student can borrow is dependent on how much their parents' income is. And it doesn't cover everything. A colleague said that her DC's loan covers her tuition fees but not accommodation or other living costs. So I think it's the middle-income families who struggle the most. Not low-income so DC don't get maximum loan, but not rich enough for it not to be a bit of a stretch.

University, both in terms of fees and also accommodation costs have risen quite a bit in 20 years. Obviously the fees are now £9k a year, but accommodation can also be astronomical. I remember paying just over £50 a week in the early 2000s; a work colleague is paying her DC's uni accommodation (in a shared house) which is £700 a month! The DC also does work.

Like you we paid a lot on childcare in the early years and still pay for wrap around and holiday clubs. Mine are 7 and 10 so in a sweet spot with them not wanting much 'stuff' and having inexpensive hobbies. I'm often baffled by what comes out on these threads as far as 'essentials' goes for teenagers. Buying a car for a start. No you don't need to do that!
I'm planning to make sure my kids don't see us as cash cows! We will be paying school fees for secondary though so obvs a big expense which in itself means we can't spoil them.

I am a parent of small(ish) DC and have fortunately been educated on this fairly recently by a work colleague. We are planning to pay off our mortgage by the time the DC are mid-teens to prepare for it 🤣