Do they really "only get more expensive?"

[nanodyne]

I see this mentioned a lot in relation to kids, is it actually true? At their most expensive (so far) we've paid ~£1.5k for 4 days a week in a nursery and this takes into account the available funded hours and "tax-free" (🙄) allocation. Do teenagers seriously cost more than this per month..?! This is only the childcare component obviously, not including the clothes they're getting through at a rate of knots, the vast amounts of fruit/food they both consume/throw on the floor/smear on the cat, day trips at the weekends, classes on my day off with them etc..

Is this just something people who had kids before childcare became more than a mortgage say? I'm partly incredulous, partly panicking!

Well aware about that….

My dcs eat twice as much as I do.

But computers only need to be bought once (mines used the computers they used since the start of Covid. No issue at all with that - dc1 is in his 3rd year now.
Insurance? Depends what for
etc…

All of this would be covered by the student loan, even at the lowest level.

Yes, I agree with this. I know it will ultimately be their decision, but if the DC aren't planning on a particularly vocational course, I will definitely get them to fully investigate what other options there are.

DD reached peak expensive at around 18 - it is a horrendous age money wise. Driving lessons, car, insurance, help with uni (student loan doesn’t even fully cover her accommodation never mind anything else!), travelling the country for open days, training fees for her sport, phone bill, prom + allowance for clothes, socialising etc as she couldn’t work much due to A levels. It was truly never ending that year.

I was very fortunate that when DD was young we never had to use paid childcare - my mum and sisters always looked after her so I suppose it’s very individual as to what age is most pricey.

For us yes as we were fortunate enough not to have Hugh childcare bills.

Some examples. A day trip out when toddlwrs generally was under age 3 = free so £20 each entry 2x adults.

We went to an old favourite place Sunday. £24 adult now and £17 per dc x3. So that added £60 odd

School trips in general aren't too bad but when get to seniors they were . Dc1 had Barcelona £700 . Skiing £1000, France £500 camping in UK £180. However these aren't compulsory.

Food bill is definitely higher even without formula and nappies.

Just wait until they want secondary school trips overseas and later they go to Uni.

I guess maybe something to consider when people say that is that obviously nursery is £££ per month, but it is for a pretty short period of time. The teen/young adult stage is obviously much longer, so the total will likely be greater.

I would say it depends on your circumstances, your own wants and needs and finances. My ex and I always worked opposites shifts and manged to raise our three kids without paying a penny for child care. We are not wealthy and are naturally very modest and that is how we raised our children. We too wanted them to experience different things and learn different skills but a person has to live within their means. We have to make sure the kids have a clean and safe place to sleep, food to eat, that they go to school and are loved and cared for, everything else is extra.

All my kids started working as early as possible, which is around fifteen where I live, and were able to cover a lot of their expenses, especially phones, games etc, the stuff we did not think was necessary for them to have and therefore our responsibility as parents to provide. They would by themselves fancy clothes, have money to go out with friends, etc. Currently they all still live with me although they are adults. Two are employed full time and one is a students still, but works part time. I pay for room and board and they pay for all their personal expenses and this works for me.

From what I've seen on this thread, a secondary school trip (so max 2x per year when I was at school) is one month of nursery now.. seems doable. Uni, hard to predict 15 years into the future..

@livelovelough24 I'd love for them to grow up with the same values as me, in that they don't take anything for granted and have good financial sense (bills paid first etc.). We don't have an option about childcare without one of us sacrificing hard-earned careers - we knew it would be expensive, but I guess we assumed it would get better as they got older, hence my question.

It has for us, but then I am a sahm so no childcare costs.

I have 5 dc aged 10-18.

When my dc were little I used to be able to clothe them with 2nd hand stuff on eBay that was cheap and brilliant condition. Now if you buy 2nd hand it's either nearly as expensive as new or really scruffy, sometimes both.

Entertainment used to be a £1 toddler group, a free trip to the park or going to a new build site to watch the diggers. On wet days we might splash out on soft play. Less than £5 per child and you could stay all day. These days a trampoline park is £15 for an hour per child. Soft play is more than £10 per child for 2 hours. We bought a climbing frame for £200ish when the dc were little. We have just replaced it for one that cost £1500 because we needed one that could take the weight of adults regularly using it.

Takeaway food was something for grown ups when the dc were in bed. Now they join in and what used to be £10 is now nearly £100 (I'll admit a lot of that increase is inflation though.

It was true for us, but I'm a sahm so we didn't have very expensive childcare (but we paid for preschool 18 hours and nursery 24 hours before starting school). But then sent dcs to prep and secondary independent so that was obviously more expensive. At younger primary age we mostly bought second hand clothes but dcs started getting more self conscious about it as they got older, so we paid for new and for more labels in their teens. They go on every school trip they are eligible for, and some other trips associated with their hobbies. We've always spent a lot on extracurriculars and school holiday activity camps (not for childcare but for socialising and to learn a skill). A lot of our spending isn't essential but we like having nice experiences for the dcs and can afford it.

For uni we are considering some overseas options which would be astronomical but it's an option and it would be a great opportunity. If they decide to stick with UK then they probably want to live in nice halls and we'll top up living costs and we'd be fine with them not working during term time to allow them to focus on studies/hobbies.

No way. The most expensive time for us was when mat leave ended and reception year of school started! Childcare costs were by far the worst expense. After that it gets a lot easier.

Dubai cricket trip last year £3k.

The majority of children won't be going on these trips though.

It depends as obviously you cut your cloth where.you can. The costs are.more I predictable and sporadic compared to a monthly nursery bill. We have 3 and just seem to haemorrhage money! We are well off so able to pay for lots of extras such as tutoring and nice birthdays etc, other families may not be able to spend money on these things. I went back to school shopping with 2 yesterday. I think so far I have spent about £700 on shoes, uniform, trainers etc. I know there will be educational trips coming up for.our older ones in the next term. We normally pay these monthly into an account so I imagine we will.be looking at a few.hundred pounds a month for a while.
Of course, lots of the things I'm describing are not essential, but like most parents we like to say yes to opportunities as much as we can. Looking ahead we won't qualify for any university assistance so we also put money into a account each month for that.

Yes and no.

DD was at private nursery from 9months and we were paying in excess of £1000 a month for that.

She's now 10yo and other than holiday clubs we don't have to pay childcare and haven't for a few years so she is costing us significantly less now and her costs haven't reached the point of exceeding £1000 a month.

I can see that her costs will go up in her teenage years - mobile phone, branded clothing, more expensive school trips and uniform etc. I hope it won't go over £1k a month but can see potential that it could be close to that some months.

It won't be more expensive than when she was a baby in nursery, but it will be a big increase on what we have been paying in the years between nursery and teen and other living costs have increased since then, so may feel like a bigger challenge to meet.

Our childcare costs were very similar £1.5k a month for nursery which we dreamed of the day it ended as we got used to cutting costs and saving money on elsewhere.

Then we had DD2 and we just got used to that (horrendous) nursery fee. And the absolute best thing we did was when they went to primary school we took the money we'd been paying nursery and put it straight into a savings account (minus the money we'd need for after school clubs). We didn't really notice any difference as we were used to not having that money but it has really helped us keeping that money to one side.

For us yes, teens are and will continue to be more expensive as I was a sahm until DD2 got her free hours aged 3.

What my colleagues moan about with their 17+yos is driving lessons, car expenses, car insurance being £250/month, university costs, etc etc.
Quite a few have teens that have chosen not to go to uni and go for apprenticeships and into trades instead.

For my friends with DC the same age who used nursery I think only the uni years will come close.

For us yes, teens are and will continue to be more expensive as I was a sahm until DD2 got her free hours aged 3.

But if you consider your loss of an income in the SAHM years , isn't that the biggest "cost"?
(Absolutely no criticism of SAHMs, just thinking about the maths!)

Right but that's my point, it's one trip at £3k, so a fifth of my current nursery spend for one child. Are you spending the other £12k on trainers and phones etc?

@GameOfJones yes that's exactly what we're intending to do - glad to hear it's worth doing 😊

OP, your childcare costs are much higher than everyone else’s so you are answering your own question every time someone says how expensive their older kids are.

@PoliteOtter sorry I don't mean to sound dismissive or rude. There are definitely things I hadn't considered that make older kids more expensive (like how lumpy the spending on them is). There also seems to be a large amount of discretionary spending which factors in to the experiences of other posters on here too.

As I put in my original post, I was genuinely wondering if the costs only escalate after nursery as the phrase is thrown around a lot on MN, or if it's just that lots of people didn't pay for nursery or had it when it was cheaper. My fees are actually on the low side, friends who still live in London pay significantly more! I guess it's reassuring to know we'll probably all be ok supporting the kids through HE if that's what they decide to do, at least.

I don't know if you are being facetious, or if you genuinely think that is a normal expense for most teens, but it really, really, really isn't. (difficult to tell when just reading a post) .

But it goes back to the point made earlier, that any large expense for a teen, is optional, but someone has to look after a baby / toddler / pre-schooler. So (with the exception of those who have family to look after their dc) either Nursery / CM Fees or a complete loss of one salary is not optional.

Saving for 2 years time when he's at uni. His sports cost £275 a month in summer but £350 a month in winter, sports equipment replacement £40, lunch money £100 a month, then usual phone, clothes, usual entrance fees for trips out, cinema, spending allowance £100 month. As 16 full price on plane for family holidays, needs his own room on family holiday so it all adds up.