Do they really "only get more expensive?"

[nanodyne]

I see this mentioned a lot in relation to kids, is it actually true? At their most expensive (so far) we've paid ~£1.5k for 4 days a week in a nursery and this takes into account the available funded hours and "tax-free" (🙄) allocation. Do teenagers seriously cost more than this per month..?! This is only the childcare component obviously, not including the clothes they're getting through at a rate of knots, the vast amounts of fruit/food they both consume/throw on the floor/smear on the cat, day trips at the weekends, classes on my day off with them etc..

Is this just something people who had kids before childcare became more than a mortgage say? I'm partly incredulous, partly panicking!

The berries! Honestly with everything people warn you about before having kids, no one seems to mention the insane amount of fruit tiny people can eat!

the bit in between nursery and uni has been fine and certainly not as costly as either end was and will shortly be.

We will be paying about £1,500 pcm when DS1 starts uni in September

The berries gets worse, my young adult DC get through shed loads of them - we buy several bags of frozen every week and I am trying to fill the freezer with blackberries at the moment.

I also think more people will start to weigh up whether uni is actually worth it & more employers will have apprenticeship/school leaver schemes.

But the tuition loan is available in full to everyone and isn't based on income at all? I actually have no problem with my kids taking out tuition loans because I view it as a graduate tax (still paying mine, graduated in 2012) that has minimal (if any) impact on your credit situation as an adult.
As I mentioned, I am planning to support them at uni, but the £5-6k difference between full and minimum maintenance loan is still quite a lot less than what I'm paying for both in nursery now. Even if I had to top up on that, I'd have to triple it to be paying at the level I am now..

Is this for real? Teenagers are the original money parasites. That’s before you consider if you were planning to help them buy property, a car, pay their tuition and halls of residency fees at university? The list goes on.

But that's using today's figures. By the time yours are at the age for uni the costs could be exponentially greater. Uni is only going to get more expensive, many of them are at financial breaking point at the moment and unless they start raising fees they won't survive.
I'm personally not comfortable with my child starting adult life 60K+ in debt and quite possibly 100K+ in debt

A special mention for toilet rolls and eggs at my house.

We go through so many eggs I am thinking of keeping hens except we live in a flat.

Nursery years are relatively short. Primary school probably the cheapest - things like class parties might be the biggest expense! Still wrap around care to pay but much less than nursery.

Bread. Juice. Milk. Where does he put it all??

My dcs don’t get £1500 per month whilst at Uni!

MN does seem to be a bubble where it is assumed that all DC will go to uni, of course many will go straight out to work after school/college so that is a big difference.

Certainly here driving is essential, we are in a small market town and although there is some public transport it is very limited. There is little seasonal work for students either so driving opens up a lot more opportunities.

I think a lot of the teen spending is discretionary spending compared to the baby/toddler years. That doesn't mean that it's unimportant but it's not "compulsory" in the same way. Of course, if you don't give your teens any of the optional "add-ons" - nice food, expensive hobbies, a few designer clothes, up-to-date tech, money to spend with friends etc. - they're still going to survive but you might be cutting them out of being able to have a full and active life in the way that many of their friends do. It's a question of balance and compromise. With more resources, we all have the potential to live nicer and fuller lives and many of us will want this for our children.

Whereas there isn't much room for cutting corners in the early years. Aside from adequate food/clothing/toys, which I don't find expensive and often free (second hand clothing/toys from friends), the biggest "expense" of the early years is the need for a constant and responsive adult caregiver, either on a 1-1 basis (nanny/SAHM) or on the basis of a few children (nursery/childminder). And this is expensive, whether because it's paid care or due to the opportunity cost for SAHMs. But absolutely essential.

I’d expect it to still be proportionate to my wages.
Unless we go down the US route - which I bloody hope we won’t.

It really does depend, but I’m our case - yes they do get more expensive. We pay hundreds for wraparound care for two children still
primary age, on top of funding a teenager who has a gym membership, bus pass, clothes and phone etc. Two of the three do expensive hobbies as well. Factor in clothes, food, holidays and school trips and we are paying out way above the cost of a pre schooler’s nursery fees per month. However, some of those things are a choice and we are happy to pay them. Nobody is forcing our hand.

But that's using today's figures. By the time yours are at the age for uni the costs could be exponentially greater. Uni is only going to get more expensive, many of them are at financial breaking point at the moment and unless they start raising fees they won't survive.
I'm personally not comfortable with my child starting adult life 60K+ in debt and quite possibly 100K+ in debt

If they start costing 2k a month plus, the numbers will just drop further as loads won’t be able to go or won’t believe it’s worth it. There’s also a decline in pupil numbers in schools now so that will have an impact in future yrs. Some unis won’t survive.

Obviously there may be massive wage growth in the UK which would mean people could afford it but I think that’s unlikely.

True, but I'm also optimistic that my salary will have increased in the intervening 14 years or so, and we'd also encourage them to consider international options if it became as crazy fee-wise as in the US. Ultimately quite hard to predict/plan for now because the whole landscape has changed so radically in the past 15 years, who knows what the next 15 will bring. We do max out their ISAs every month to give them a decent lump sum on their 18th so hoping that will help with uni/a house when the time comes.

Other commenters have mentioned driving, which won't really be a priority for me. We intentionally live in a city with good infrastructure, I've always lived in cities and didn't learn to drive til my 30s, happy for them to do the same - I don't think I'd ever pay for a car for them, but wouldn't mind if they wanted to do so out of their own pockets.

@nanodyne I learned to drive & then didn’t drive for yrs as no need in my city.

We paid more for university accommodation and fees than when they were younger although I'm a SAHM so not many nursery fees. Two have been through uni, two teens to go! Two weddings down so far as well...

Sounds like you have it sorted OP, so no, your kids won’t cost more than they do now.

@nanodyne no I didn’t find that they got more expensive as time went.
Nothing compared to nursery (which for us meant 2 dcs st nursery and spending more than my wage in nursery cost).

Primary still has the wrap around/school HoL clubs but much cheaper.

Secondary meant no childcare cost. And, no, we were not spending £3k per month on hobbies, designer clothes etc….i can’t see how many people could afford to do that tbh.

I think a lot if they time, it feels like teens are expensive because THEY keep asking either for expensive stuff or for much smaller amount often. Esp in comparaison to the early years.

Sharing your pain @Panicmode1 on the costs of Nottingham uni accommodation. Mine can't find a job there either as she can't physically be on her feet for a long time or carry heavy things so standard student jobs don't work for her.

Not in my experience. Nursery then afterschool clubs, more sports and hobby clubs, swimming lessons were more expensive when small.

Teenagers - only doing the sports clubs they liked the best which involve paying subs which are cheaper than their lesson costs were. They like to flick through Vinted for clothes. Birthday and Christmas presents more likely to be clothes now as well whereas before they would get toys and still need clothes. DC1 has had a part time job for over a year so not really pushed for more money from us. Can’t tell with food costs as they have shot up so much anyway.