The "I won't stand for it" is what makes me laugh. How on earth is she not going to stand for it, what is she going to do?! Stick her tongue out? Have a meltdown on Twitter... oh hang on, she's just done that!
I honestly think she could've scraped up a couple of brownie points here, (not much admittedly, but still...) if she had laughed along with it, asked them to pull it up, and just carried on. Yes, she is humourless. And very embarrassing. Now everyone knows how much lettuces hurt her, they will do it even more cos it's funny.