Are you scared of dying?

[Needablueskyholiday]

Just that really. Do you have a will? Have you got your pension nomination form organised? Do you know what sort of funeral you’d like? Do your next of kin know your funeral wishes?

I’m 40 and weirdly think about death a lot. I’m just wondering if anyone is morbidly organised or once I’m dead, I’m dead. No point stressing about it now?!

Yes. Obsessed

I've got cancer and have had to come to terms with the idea.

I am afraid of the process of dying but not of being dead.

I find it an annoying idea though. I am not ready and don't want it to be yet.

This does make me feel happy and excited about every day I am alive and feel well. I probably have some years left - maybe more. When I thought I was facing just a few weeks or months, I was annoyed, but not afraid.

now I am ecstatic I have longer.

Yes, will, Power of attorney, pension benefits, etc all in place. And I have cleaned out the loft

Not for myself, but I am for DD. When I'm gone, she's all alone, so I just (non religious version of) pray that I stay alive long enough for her to have people around her.

I think it's healthy to contemplate one's own death and the aftermath. eg. Swedish death cleaning. (I've been decluttering for years).

Most people seem to pretend it's never going to happen. But it really is going to happen.

Having said that, my thinking about death fluctuates a lot, certainly not every day, but at least once a month.

I had COVID in 2021
I couldn't breath, literally gasping for every breath. I thought my time was coming.

The thoughts that went through my head wasn't of fear of death or how much pain I my be in or worrying about what comes after.

I lay there, desperate for air and my only thoughts were of how much of my daughters life I won't get to see.

I won't see her get married, have kids, buy a home, get a dog and all those silly little slice of life moments.

That thought terrified me.

She's 11 now, I'm 45, god willing I'll stick around another 15-20 years and by the time my go around is done, she'll be happy and grown and healthy.

I can relate to this. I was held up at knife point once, more than 20 years ago, and my ONLY thought was "my baby won't remember me".

I had a bad asthma attack a few months ago, and I was scared. In the ambulance, everything seemed brighter, and more vivid, and I felt like it would be like this, and I felt like my life could just flicker out in a second. I don't know how to reconcile the fear, or if I ever will. I hope there is something after.

I turn this idea on its head. What would be worse dying or living forever. I would choose death over immortality.

currently going through my second cancer scare in 3 years. Confident this time that that my condition is still not cause for concern.

No still not got my affairs in order. Still need to clear out the loft. At this point when life is settled I would feel cheated not to enjoy this calm for a few years.

I was with my Dad as he passed. He had a good death at home. He had lung cancer . He had a dream a couple of weeks before he died. He dreamt that he had died and his favourite sister was there to greet him. He was disappointed to wake up and find he was still alive. He was ready to go.

I’m not afraid of dying per se however I’d hate to die now and leave my kids without a Mother. I want to be alive as long as possible for them - especially as one has SEN. I don’t care about myself I just worry what will happen ro DC.

If I was 80 and my DC didn’t have SEN then I’d be absolutely fine with dying.

Not scared at all. I'm an atheist and happy with the idea that when my life ends, it ends. No belief in heaven or hell or an afterlife and if my body can help a tree grow I'll be happy that's my legacy. Making every day count!

Yes I do think about it now I'm older (55) . I need to make a will and sort out my finances for my children. I've decided if I get cancer and it's terminal I'm going to the euthanasia clinic. I don't want my sons to see me suffer. I've done it for my grandad and aunt, i honestly don't think they would cope

I'm really scared of dying.

I've always been scared for my own sake - I really don't want to die ever, and definitely not after just a measly human lifespan(!).

I don't want to leave the game, I don't want to not get to find out what happens next, I don't want it to all be over. I feel like I have an awareness of history, of scale, and compared to it our lives are just nothing, so short, like mayflies. I feel like (completely egotistically) I am or ought to be more important than that, more important that to just burn for a moment, then just flicker out and see / experience so little of everything there is? Death reminds me of how unimportant and fleeting I really am. And that's assuming I die of old age. Dying when young is even more ridiculous.

Since becoming a mother, it's interesting because actually my children's lives are more important and I live for them in a sense. Not completely, of course, but they're my deepest priority and ultimately I would willingly die for them, even though I don't want to die at all.

So I feel even more intensely that I absolutely must live long enough to raise and guide them (I think I am much more cowardly and health oriented now, driven by my desire to live to parent them), but on the other hand, once they're grown and truly independent - to some extent I will have met my most important goal, and it will be more "okay" if I die after that point. I would be able to say I was lucky I got to raise them even if I didn't live as long as I would like (which is basically forever if they get to live forever too).

Ironically I used to have intrusive suicidal thoughts ha. But I'm so clear now on "must be alive for the children". It terrifying to think of leaving them so I try not to beyond the practical like life insurance etc (but I am a bit preoccupied with it at times so I have a contingency plan of writing them letters and making lots of voice recordings and videos/photos etc in case I do die 😳. I've also told my husband he must consider it his mission to find an woman who desperately wants her own children but can't have them so she will love our children fully as her own and be their mother to replace me if I die - obviously she also has to be completely calm, patient, kind etc 😳).

I don't think it's morbid to organise things like that. I think it's sensible.
During the height of the pandemic, a lot of support groups were giving guidance on how to set things up in case of severe illness or the worst outcome. It pushed a lot of people into organising things they had probably never thought about.

Things happen unpredictably in life and you don't know who's going to be available to help at that time.

Never felt especially scared of it but still I have generally been aware of not wanting my life to be cut short. As I get older that feeling is subsiding, I feel some relief to have made it this far.

I've come close to it a couple of times, and really didn't want it to happen. Mostly I'm angry that I have to at some point.

I'm scared that there probably will be pain. I've felt prolonged pain before and don't want to again.

No not at all
Never have been.
Have lost all grandparents , been to funerals , open caskets etc
I just think death is part of the life cycle and never give it any thought .
Do not dwell or think on it.

I don't think so.

Ask me again when I have a terminal illness.

@PinkSunsetSky when you lose your parents and are on the last line before the grim reaper it all gets a bit too up close ime.

If you have Disney +, watch the final episode of season 1 of Chris Hemsworth’s “Limitless”. I found it very interesting.

If I could control my own death (Euthanasia) I would be happy in the UK. I do have plans however, a medical incident or accident could easily derail these plans.

I am scared of suffering or lingering in a home.

I always remember that line from Gladiator ‘Death smiles at us all and all we can do is smile back’, something like that.

As soon as my kids turned 18 I felt less worried about death and I have a death file with all
the necessary information in it.

I would not want to live forever and truly wish I could decide when I die as I age too. Hopefully, in the next decade the UK will catch up with Europe and legalise Euthanasia.

This is my thought too.

I however, don't want to die right now. And I want to be around for my kids as long as possible.

I think about death a lot, most days.
I lost my mum suddenly and unexpectedly when I was 27 and pregnant with my first baby it altered my life forever, for the worse.
since then I think about it so much
I do not want to leave my children into they are in there 50/60s and hopefully all happy and thriving. The thought of them losing me as children makes me feel physically panicked and sick,
No one loves and cares for a child like a mother. Equally our support system is none existent and crap so on the rare occasion we go for a date night I get very anxious about being in. A car crash etc and us both leaving them all behind.

I'm not so worried about dying as I am about dying now. I'm not ready to go, and hope to have a good 20 or so years left in me yet!

I'm not scared of dying as such, but I'm scared of being ill and in pain for a long time before I die. I also have moments where I worry about not being around for my children.

I try not to let my mind go to that place though. We have everything in place like wills etc and other than that. all we can do to try to live as long as possible is live a healthy lifestyle and hope for the best.

No. I'm 61 and had a cancer diagnosis a few years ago. Thankfully it was spotted early and I'm now clear but it helped me deal with all that stuff.

All my paperwork is done. My ds is provided for and protected. He's 16 and unless I am run over by a bus, I will see him to adulthood and independence.

But I've also learned to value every day. To eat healthily, not drink or smoke, to exercise every day. I owe it to ds to be around for as long as possible and so I do all I can to ensure that happens. I'm also having such a good time because I've stopped putting things off.

But beyond that, I've learned not to worry about it. The NHS was/is brilliant and will do everything they can to ease any situation. At the same time, I do everything I can not to need them.

My dm lived to 88 despite having the same cancer diagnosis years ago. I fully intend to be longer lived.