Are you scared of dying?

[Needablueskyholiday]

Just that really. Do you have a will? Have you got your pension nomination form organised? Do you know what sort of funeral you’d like? Do your next of kin know your funeral wishes?

I’m 40 and weirdly think about death a lot. I’m just wondering if anyone is morbidly organised or once I’m dead, I’m dead. No point stressing about it now?!

I worry about it a lot. Which I find strange, since I spent a chunk of my life extremely suicidal and almost died as a result once.

I am terrified of dementia. If I got a diagnosis I'd be off to Switzerland. I hope and pray euthanasia becomes legal here- I am part of 'Death in Dying' political group and hope to see it in my lifetime.

I'd love to see DS grow into adulthood and start his own family before I go.

And I'm absolutely terrified of OH dying.

I'm glad you find comfort in that thought. 🤗

No. But I'm absolutely terrified at the thought of leaving my children before I'm ready.

No. Orthodox Christian here

No, I attempted suicide several times in my teens (am 40s now). I gave up trying not because I wanted to live, but because I was resigned to being alive. But part of me would always welcome the end, so I am unafraid for when it comes.

I have my pension nomination sorted but not my will and I will leave plenty of loose ends. Unfortunately a lot of legal forms require witnesses and a will would have to deal with nomination of guardians. I have no one suitable, so I am crossing my fingers and hoping I make it until my dcs are old enough to not need one.

Yes. I have a will. I'm 50 and think I need to sort out a funeral plan. I'm a lone parent and don't want it falling on my eldest child, youngest isn't likely yo be able to cope at all.

Too many pages to read in the thread before I go to bed, but this is worth looking at,

It's AgeUK 'Life Book' so you can list all the relevant information. It used to be available in WORD format, but I think they have stopped that so now you can download it as a PDF.

www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/media/legacy/id204608-0321-age-uk-lifebook.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj4is3Gj9yHAxWyUUEAHbllFVEQFnoECBkQAQ&usg=AOvVaw19OB0a2uzo5srjeehXLT8j

When I hit 50 the reality of dying suddenly hit me. Whilst I knew I'd die I don't think you believe it will happen. It dawned on me that if I died at the same age as my Mum I've only got 19 years left. My dd is 16 and that time has flown by, so now I've accepted I WILL die it's terrifying. I've made a will and sorted all the admin, even started chucking stuff I don't need or would want people to see. It's the thought of not knowing what will happen when I die scares me. My Mum and her Father both died of Vascular dementia and I've lived through both their deaths so it's also the process, I don't want dementia, it's such an awful way to go.

I'm going to do the same. My brother died suddenly and God love him, he had a lot of friends, he was much loved and respected both personally and professionally and we have a huge family. His funeral cost my Dad £20k. I do not want my kids to have to worry about this so I agree a funeral plan is the way forward.

Being dead doesn't bother me in the slightest, after all I'll no longer exist so will know nothing about it. The actual process of dying though could be exceptionally grim, so I guess I'm not looking forward to that.

What's this obsession with 80. Many people are still
Living a good and happy life at 80.
People are still going on holiday, dancing, playing sport, you are way off.

not scared but worried that its coming quicker than i would like and there is so much more i want to do and teach my children

I’m 68 so it’d be odd if I hadn’t thought about it and dealt with the bureaucracy: Will & letter of wishes, POAs, Advance Directive, etc. I have money saved to cover assisted dying overseas if necessary, and have had conversations with my spouse (unlikely to outlive me) and adult sons about what I want in various circumstances

Having done as much as I practically can, I don’t give it a second thought now.

Thanks for all your replies. I’ve read them all.

I worry about my loved ones left behind. Mostly, will my children be ok? I’ve already told my husband to find someone else if I went first, not straight away, but that he must remember our kids come first… always!

I’ve also seen people loose their loved ones to heart attacks / cancer / old age. One day here, gone the next. I’ve seen the pain the person left behind carries behind their eyes. Even years later, day in day out. It makes me fear being in that situation.

Then… don’t get me started on the people I’ve seen not make it and who will not make it to 40. Gut wrenchingly sad.

No, not at all, only the fear of the pain that I and my love ones has to go through. My life not meant to be enjoyable unfortunately, I am ready to go when my children no longer need me.

Who wouldn't be? Surely only someone who wasn't living a happy life that they wanted to continue :-/

Not afraid of dying, but afraid of how, I don’t want a painful death, or to suffer dementia.

I hope euthanisia is legal by the time my ticket gets cancelled.

I'm scared of being ridiculously old and outliving my usefulness/becoming a burden. My DGM is 95 and although still fairly independent and good company I'm not sure she gets a great deal out of life. She's been widowed 25 years.

I've joined a death cafe online and can recommend it. Good to get some perspective about the whole thing.

Well l nearly died once .. l was put in an induced coma.. 36 years ago.
I have my funeral paid for and my wishes wrote down .. so all my daughters need to do is ring one number and register my death..
My parents were younger than me when they passed away.
I have lost one sister at the age of 70.
I'm 66.
No I'm not scared of dying as long as it's painless...
I'm sad for my daughters and Grandkids being without me.
We are a very close family.
But I'm a Spiritualist so my faith helps me.

Yes I'm scared of dying!!!!! I think about it quite a lot too. Particularly road traffic accidents when I'm driving.

Are you scared of dying?

No.
I mean, if you have a faith, you are going to eternal life. If you don't have a faith, then there will be no consciousness - your brain will not function. You will just cease to be. So either way, there is nothing to be afraid of.

Who wouldn't be? Surely only someone who wasn't living a happy life that they wanted to continue

Well, no, clearly not. If you read the thread, most of us aren't.

Do you have a will? Yes
Have you got your pension nomination form organised? Yes
Do you know what sort of funeral you’d like? Yes
Do your next of kin know your funeral wishes? Yes

It is good, and healthy to talk about all of these things.
Plus, organ donation

I'm scared of being ridiculously old and outliving my usefulness

Yes, me too. I don't want to be trapped in a body that doesn't work. Or in pain. Or without having dignity. Or without some quality of life. That worries me MUCH more than death.

I have a notebook, like an old school exercise book, in which I write passwords, and put the date next to when updated. It's not that long, only five pages since I started it in December 2021. (Before that it was a nightmare folder of little bits of paper).

yes i think about it regularly - certainly at least once a week I consider how lucky I am and grateful for my lot.
i have made my will, written my funeral directions and left clear notes on all my accounts, investments pensions etc. I've taken financial advice to reduce inheritance tax on my estate. I'm all set but at 60 have no plans to die for a long while yet.