Are you scared of dying?

[Needablueskyholiday]

Just that really. Do you have a will? Have you got your pension nomination form organised? Do you know what sort of funeral you’d like? Do your next of kin know your funeral wishes?

I’m 40 and weirdly think about death a lot. I’m just wondering if anyone is morbidly organised or once I’m dead, I’m dead. No point stressing about it now?!

No I'm not scared, I do wish death was more openly talked about without it being deemed morbid.

A lot of people don't know what to expect when a loved one is dying and it can be terrifying, if we talked more about the process and more about death itself I think many people would be less afraid. My only hope is that it's quick!

No not worried at all look forward to it sometimes.
We cant avoid it.

@Icepearl I'm the exact same, minus being organised.

I find anger is an overwhelming emotion attached to this shit show - anger and acceptance.

More of a 'fuck it's attitude than before AND less tolerant of others nonsense!

Hope you are keeping well.

Not worried about death, more scared of dementia or being cared for. I have no family other than my husband so really no one to worry about. Paperwork in order, just hope to spend the rest of my life happy and healthy.

Me too.

I choked on something and couldn’t breathe. I thought ‘this is it’

My main concern was ds and dd who would grow up without a mum. I felt a calmness and resignation that I’ve never felt before. It was weird.

I started off thinking about death in my teenage years and never stopped. It's a key feature of our existence, to be aware that it's finite. I find it mind boggling that someday the people who have always known me will die. I wonder how much my sense of self is bound up in who we are for each other, and as a result I'm curious about what that will be like after they've died but I also don't want to know.

The idea of being dead is both fine (I won't know) and dissappointing (I want to know what the world will be like in 500 yrs).

The idea of my last years is just a great sadness to me as I anticipate lonliness - all my loved ones, if things go to plan, will die before me, my peers will also be aged and maybe we won't be able to visit as often, etc. But I'm preparing for that as best I can, being healthy, having good relationships, doing wonderful things daily. It's extremely rare for me to have a "bad" day. The concept of a "ruined" day or holiday is thankfully one I just can't relate to. I'm very focused on the here and now and I let go of angsty moments easily.

I used to be terrified of death in an existential sense. I was terrified of not existing and thought about it a lit. And then.... I died. In a freak accident a few years ago. I got revived, obviously. I was clinically dead for just under 3 minutes. Now I'm not scared of it at all, because in a very real sense, it won't happen to me: when I am dead, there will be no "me" for it to happen to. Its a non experience: like time skipped. Ive talked with other people who've been clinically dead since, apparently "absolutely nothing" is the most common report. I would obviously prefer not to die in a painful or drawn out way, but I don't experience the existential dread of death anymore.

I'm not scared of dying itself. I always think 'I'm not bothered about things that happened before I was born so I won't be bothered after I'm dead.'

But... I'm a single parent of a child with ASD who will most likely never live independently so I worry about what will become of them when I'm dead.

Like a few others have said, becoming a mum weirdly made me think about death more. When I was younger I just had a “when it happens, it happens, no point worrying” attitude. But having my daughter who’s still young, I guess I have a purpose/something more important than myself that I need to live for. I want to see her grow and the kind of person she’ll become. And the thought of her not remembering me, or not being there for her as she navigates her way to adulthood utterly destroys me.
Within weeks of her birth I’d got life insurance in place, nominated my pension beneficiary, Will written etc. DH and I actually had an argument about it. I think he thought I was just being hormonal but it was something I NEEDED us to sort.

I just don't want to die young. I feel sick thinking of all the millions of people who have died young, it's not fair.

But being dead doesn't scare me, especially the more I lose people. I think "if they are dead then I don't fear it"
I have a morbid interest in death, dead things and the gothic and macabre.
But yes the painful process, the violent manner of some, and dying too young scare me.

I'm not worried but I am organised.

Lone parent so my will leaves everything equally to my children.

Mortgage paid off.

Work pension also has my children as beneficiaries.

Cheap life insurance (£5 per month) which would pay just over £100,000.

I've told my siblings I want a direct cremation as funerals are so awful.

Have you heard the phrase 'extinction is the rule, survival is the exception'?
We've got so used to being able to delay death in many cases, we forget that actually we don't have any more right to life than any other species

Being dead not so much. I see it being like before you were born. So we’ve all been ‘dead’ before (for FAR longer than we’ve been alive!)

The process frightens me though, especially after seeing a relative go through dementia. That does play on my mind sometimes.

I'm much more scared of not dying. As in, living to an old age and living a miserable half life. Im 47 and If I had control I would love to drop off silently at 75, I can't bear the thought of being 80. I know a few in good shape at 80 but even then it's only good for their age. It's still living a shitty version of themselves. They seem to faff about the house and get stressed about nothing. Also it frustrates me that my DP and in laws are in denial, no attempt to tell us what they want to do when they decline let alone organise their homes. If you don't get this done in your 70s it's too daunting when you hit 80, it's beyond foolish IMO. We are all going to die, why this ridiculous belief that you will be the first immortal human ever.

My mother is 85 and she's inclined to say she never expected to be like this, needing help etc. I have pointed out that unless you drop dead, what else do you expect to happen. Every living thing slows down and dies eventually.

No. Even as a child when friends start talking (10/11 I suppose) I could never see it as a big deal.
Always had a Will I can update without charge at any time.
Have a medical directive in place though I found out last week hospital didn’t know about it and completely ignored its contents. so I’ll have to reconsider that.
Direct cremation paid for, all paperwork in an envelope and nok knows where it all is.
DDog is also catered for in case he outlives me.
List of friends contact details so dd can inform them, most live overseas.
I keep the house as declutterred as possible so less shite for them to sort through.

I'm afraid of dying painfully or a long, drawn out death that means I have to watch my loved ones suffer with me. I'm afraid of leaving my loved ones without me and making their lives worse.

I'm not scared of being dead or dying painlessly suddenly or after a short illness.

My DH died out of the blue and quite young this year so I have thought about it a fair bit recently. I’m not scared of being dead and a part of me desperately hopes I will be with DH again once I’m dead. I fear the act of dying as it’s an unknown but my biggest fear is enduring worsening pain for a long time and then dying alone. Now I’m by myself this fear is very real.

@Littleorangemouse I haven't heard that phrase before no, but paints it clearly! I do often think of nature and how so many of the wildlife we see each year will be gone by the year after. How fleeting it all is
I know logically we are just biological beings and can't expect to live to a ripe old age

But we are also emotional beings and it just feels not right still, especially as young people dying usually means an unexpected violent/scary end. And that they haven't had the chance of a full life while others do.

I'm so sorry

I’m not scared of dying.
I’m terrified of the few years with an inherited neurodegenerative disease that is going to get me at some point between now and then.

Yes i get you @Disturbia81 💐

It's interesting that noone has mentioned being afraid of what happens after death. Some of you must believe in an afterlife, whether Christian, Jewish or otherwise, do any of you fear not going to heaven? It's something I think about.

This is why I don’t fear death.
I have tried hard to live my life right, I trust the plan and that it will be fine.
The only thing I wonder is whether people I have lost will know me when I get there as an old lady.