Are you scared of dying?

[Needablueskyholiday]

Just that really. Do you have a will? Have you got your pension nomination form organised? Do you know what sort of funeral you’d like? Do your next of kin know your funeral wishes?

I’m 40 and weirdly think about death a lot. I’m just wondering if anyone is morbidly organised or once I’m dead, I’m dead. No point stressing about it now?!

I'm on the final leg of my life now, and no, I don't fear death. I've always been ok talking about it, unlike so many people now whom it seems can't even say the word died now and say passed instead. I don't care about my funeral, coffin etc and can see no point in spending a lot of money on either because I'll have no idea what actually happens once I'm dead.

I have told my son, that I don't want my body in a coffin. I want it to be in an open basket with a sheet over until I'm cremated, and I want it kept in his house until then. He won't agree to the last part

I divided up my jewelry between my niece and my daughter in law this spring when my niece came to visit. I kept some back for whoever eldest son marries.

My insurance policy will be divided 50% to husband, 25% to each son, that’s written into it.

When I die I’ll be going straight for cremation. No funeral.

Sometimes it's not just the thought of dying it's the way in which you might die?
As nobody knows it's best just try living day to day and not thinking about it too much.

I dread it. I can’t think about not being here. Not being alive. It terrifies me.

I am not scared of the actual act of dying, indeed, I see it as being a release from the cancer ridden body making my life shit. I have my will, poa, wishes all in place but I think I might organise my funeral next.

I wasn't before I had kids but its my worse nightmare now. Made worse by the fact that their Dad has his own issues (not apparent until we had kids) that would mean he would be completely incapable of raising them, yet would still get full custody if I died. I know they would be really emotionally damaged by being raised just by him.

I try to live as healthily as I can, but I have known quite a few people die around my age, mainly from cancer. I have to push these thoughts from my mind, so walking away from this thread now!

Only of dying 'prematurely' in the sense that I would like my children to reach adulthood. Also I'm sad that I will inevitably miss out on seeing so much of their lives.

But I can rationalise it because I know so many people who have died in their 30s and 40s or with very young children.

I do take the opportunity to say regularly to my children that when it happens they should not let it derail anything in their lives and find a way to be happy every day even in the beginning. I have also told my friends to remind them of this when they're sad.

I was 60 this year, I have achieved so many things. I’ve lived longer than my DM, my DS is 20 this year, I have retired, the list is long.
My DM died when I was 32, she was 55, so for me reaching 55 was a milestone. Then at 57 I was diagnosed with breast cancer so every birthday is a bonus year for me.
I had a good prognosis re cancer but it is all about luck.
I would like to see my DS settle down and his ambition is to marry and have children, not just yet though.
Overall I’ve lived a good life and if it ended sooner rather than later I would be ok with it. But not until I have finished my life after me folder. I started it when I was having treatment for breast cancer. It was reassuring to leave instructions on how to live without me. I think once DS leaves for uni, he’s been on a gap year this year, then I will complete it.

I have FOMO about dying and not seeing things!

But my biggest fear, as others have said, is leaving my children and not seeing them grow up and be able to be there for them through milestones

I am divorced from their Dad and he and I dont have the best relationship (despite my trying) so they wouldn't be encouraged to remember me, he and his gf like to pretend to the kids that I don't exist

So it's that part that scares me and I have health anxiety so I worry daily

I do believe in an afterlife in that I believe we have ghosts in our house and I have met ghosts otherwise. I'm not sure I want to spend my days haunting a semi detached bungalow down near Brighton though.

I don't drink, don't smoke, exercise for two hours a day, vegan. Got cancer at 51.

No, I'm really looking forward to being dead.

I hope it's not too grim, though.

I’m not scared of death, much more scared of getting too old, lonely and not independent.

I don’t want to die before time though, need to make sure my son with SN who will never live independently is in a good place. Also need to see my other son being a wonderful man.

I am spiritual and believe in God.

No, not at all. I'm 70 now, my children are adults with children of their own.

I'd like to live long enough that they grow up remembering me fondly, and I'm already regretting all the things I haven't done with my life, but hey ho, it's been good so far.

I'd like to get some of the prep done - wills, POA, sorting out bank accounts, but DH either won't discuss it or refuses to take time away from work to arrange things. So he's going to have fun sorting everything when I'm dead and gone!

Sincere condolences. Losing a child is an unimaginable pain. I really do hope there is some kind of afterlife where we can all meet each other again and hug and chat and just be together,

I'm not afraid of death but I did have to face my own mortality when I got a cancer diagnosis. To date I am well and cancer free and I hope it remains that way. However, what scares the life out of me is leaving my son. He has SN, I am a lone parent. Father abandoned. I have an older child who is an adult and has left home and I know she'd look after her brother but I would never want to put that on her. I have a will and have named guardians who will take over if anything happens to me. As for actually dying, I think I'd be more afraid of being in pain. I have only ever witnessed peaceful deaths and that's what we all hope for I guess.

@Tinylittleunicorn "Death reminds me of how unimportant and fleeting I really am."

I think you are important; as is every single one of us. Death doesn't change that.

Since the moment you were born your actions had a knock on ripple effect that you weren't aware of and probably can't even begin to imagine. These ripples are endless.

I really hope your healthy diet sees you into your nineties. Sadly though, random fatal illness can strike any of us at any age. Look at all the slim, toned, healthy women who get diagnosed with cancer, or are unlucky whilst out driving to Waitrose.
Cherish your health, but don't think for one minute you are immune to dying before you reach a ripe old age.

No I'm not wasting my life by worrying about something that's going to happen to us all.
But I'm organised will done POA done wishes known about what treatments I would not want. Cremation flowers and tea etc all family know .I even have what music and readings I want written down beside my will .
Also I've got all my paperwork in order bank accounts pensions etc.
Anything that will make life a bit easier for my family when I die.

Thank you for this post. I believe human souls are eternal - that they existed before their earthly bodies were born, and that they continue to exist in perpetuity. It's terrifying to me. What if my afterlife is awful and I'm trapped in it literally forever? The worst is the fact that there's no way to know for sure - maybe there's a heaven and hell, maybe you get reincarnated, maybe you just cease to be... you just have to sort of pick a belief that makes sense, and hope that it's right. And if it's not, well, too bad - maybe you'll be stuck in torment forever 🥴
It had never occurred to me to consider that I have no knowledge of my existence before my life on earth. So presumably if I do exist after death, I'll have no knowledge of that either. So thank you again.

I think about it a lot, but it doesn’t worry me - one of my favourite things is being asleep, and I imagine it’s a lot like that!
My parents had both died before I was 24, so I’m always adding up in my head how many years I’ve got to live to get DC to adulthood. We have very generous life insurance/wills etc. which fortunately my parents did too.

Sadly this year since January two friends have been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, neither expected to see Christmas. Three have had heart attacks, one didn’t survive. All aged between 45 and 50. Too young…

This is a boring question, but, people who have passwords written down - how are you managing this list given how often you're prompted to update passwords for some things? Do you literally have a notebook that you manually update, or something like Google password manager, and someone knows the master password for that?
Just thinking I should do something similar and wondering what's the best way to go about it?
(Sorry for the slightly tangential question!)

I am scared of leaving my ds who is an only child and still young but otherwise I do not really worry about it. I think if I got a diagnosis that my time was limited it might be different though.

I find the idea of my life being fleeting and unimportant comforting! If I am a mere speck in a vast universe, then why worry about anything?