Are you scared of dying?

[Needablueskyholiday]

Just that really. Do you have a will? Have you got your pension nomination form organised? Do you know what sort of funeral you’d like? Do your next of kin know your funeral wishes?

I’m 40 and weirdly think about death a lot. I’m just wondering if anyone is morbidly organised or once I’m dead, I’m dead. No point stressing about it now?!

Not scared by natural causes of death.
I always hope my family are adults and capable to lool after themselves.

Yes massively. I’ve got the most tremendous fear of missing out. I’m not sure I’ll ever want to leave the game. Perhaps older age loosens our desire as our bodies change. I’m in my forties and would love to turn the clock back 10 years.

Yes. Think about it daily I never want to die

Not for me but for my children. I am terrified of dying before they reach adulthood as barring dh there is nobody else who would look after them. If I can get both my dc to independence and self sufficiency (ideally with families of their own to love them) then I'll be happy.
The idea of not existing is really strange, but I don't think it's anything to be afraid of. I read on here one time that it's just like going back to before you were born. No pain or awareness. I'm not sure if I believe that or in some sort of afterlife. The logical part of me thinks it's probably the former but I would like to think I'll see my lost loved ones again someday.

I’m not scared of dying after all I won’t know about it I will be dead.
However what I am scared of based on the experiences of my older relatives, is the years and years of pain and confusion leading up to it.
It appears that death usually consists of years of going in and out of hospital, being pumped full of drugs to be kept alive with absolutely no quality of life. My mum had dementia and was so scared and upset yet the doctors wouldn’t let pneumonia take her.
Perhaps the fact that the NHS is failing apart will work in my favour.

My friend died recently. Her last words were “oh shit, something’s wrong” then she dropped to the floor. She’d had a catastrophic brain stem bleed.

She was resuscitated long enough for organ donation so somewhere, some families will have received the phone call they’d been praying for. She didn’t want to die, she wasn’t ready and had plans for the future. Her husband and teenage son are numb and shell shocked.

But no one can dodge death when it comes calling. It’s just so sad when it’s sudden and unexpected. I’d prefer a bit of time to prepare myself and my family.

Funnily enough I was thinking this yesterday. I’m in my late 40s but chronically ill and in pain and struggling with mobility. I wouldn’t be sad if I died tomorrow. I’m not depressed. I’m just tired and I’ve had enough. If I was fit and healthy I don’t think I’d feel this way. The thought of living to even 70 fills me with dread more than dying does.

Terrified of accidental death like a car crash or something. Scared of the fact a small mistake could instantly take you out the game. Scared of the suffering of it and like many others terrified of leaving my young daughter.

I'm also more terrified of something happening to my daughter also. Car crashes in particular seem to take over my mind a lot, especially the fact someone else's ignorance or mistake could lead to our death in a crash

Absolutely terrified. Not for myself, and not because of the actual dying itself, but for my son. It doesn’t take up my every waking thought or anything but the idea of leaving my baby behind, and him having to grow up navigating life without his mama and dealing with that kind of traumatic loss is awful to me. My husband too, I hate the idea of him having to cope with losing me while also making the right choices for our son. I got sepsis a while back and was close to dying, my son was a little younger then, and I just kept thinking (before I lost consciousness 😅 ) about how he wouldn’t even remember me 😭 I was only 28 and having that experience really rattled me.
We have decent life insurance and our wills are done. We know roughly what the other would want funeral-wise. Most of the practicals were sorted after we got married/before we had DS.

We are mid 60s and in great health. We have everything in place for failing health death.....POA, updated wills, direct cremations paid for, wishes for ashes documented and most importantly our dc know all of this and are in agreement.
I hope to live another 15 years in reasonable health and then that's quite enough for me. I would love to have a decision on when and how I die.

I'm not afraid of death itself but I fear a long, painful dying process. My DH died a couple of weeks ago, having had cancer for several years. The last 18 months were awful for him and he was in immense pain. All the drugs had their own side effects which required more drugs to control. I don't want to be in that condition, and I don't want to have to be looked after/cleaned/medicated by my two young adult DDs.

Will etc is sorted and once I've got the admin from DH's death out of the way I'll be on a massive decluttering drive. I also intend to do some sort of guide for DDs on what to do (practical and admin wise) when I die, so that it doesn't add to their stress when they're grieving.

That's interesting. I feel the same! I don't want to die horribly and I'm not yet ready to go, but I don't fear being dead. I have a much bigger fear of getting dementia or being really old and unwell, and stuck in hospital with ulcers and bed sores. They are what really scare me.

@2Old2Tango much love to you and sorry for your loss 💐

Yes. I think about mortality a lot. Both my parents are mid 80s and in poor health. As you age, your health declines so you can live a long time but it won’t be a bowl of cherries.

i fear illness or losing capacity. I have bad HA so that makes things worse! So I try not to think about it all too much or get quite depressed about it.

i am 59 and should plan to get a will etc sorted soon but it’s hard to think about.

We moved house a year ago and I had a massive clear out of documents and old crap so at least that’s done.

Not remotely.
We have wills, POA and funeral plans sorted out. DNAR is carried around with me always.
Organ donation- everything possible will be taken for transplant.
I am hoping that euthanasia will become legally available in the near future.
Our DD will be financially secure.

I lost my 13 year old son to cancer in April and I am no longer in fear of death or of my life being cut short. I have had a weird sense of calm ever since he passed away, it's a feeling I can't describe.

I plan to get on with some of that too. So far it's only wills that have been sorted. But I'd like my family to have POA and a dnr is a good idea ( I would want it to depend on circumstances though)
Having said that though I think I'd rather not be resuscitated now at 59 ish than be brought back to end up miserably old.

@Downtoyou
so sorry for your loss x

I'm similar to @Icepearl , in that I was diagnosed with cancer last summer. I have had chemotherapy, surgery and radiotherapy, continuing with other therapies. At the moment there is no evidence of cancer but it is likely to return and my life expectancy is considerably reduced. I also saw both my mother and mother in law die of cancer.

I have most things already sorted out. I want to go and get a funeral plan sorted out (my MIL had everything sorted and it made things so much easier) but my DH is resistant to that.

I am afraid of dying , yes. I am worried about what happens after you are dead, but more afraid about the process of dying. I have decided I am not willing to stay alive at any cost. Another month or two of pain and suffering isn't worth it to me. I would rather go more quickly but more peacefully, if I have that option.
I don't want to put my family through a long period of caring for me, worrying about me, seeing me suffer, knowing that when I eventually die they will be sad but also relieved. And I know how my own DM and DMIL suffered. I have had a fairly horrific experience of cancer treatment (unfortunately worse than most) and I don't want to go through that again if cancer recurs.

Having said that - hopefully I will remain cancer-free and will die peacefully in my sleep, with everything already sorted out and my family will know I cared about them enough not to leave them anything to worry about 😁

Same.

No. I'm not keen on the idea of being in pain during the process of dying, but death itself - of course not. I'm not aware of the billions of years before I was born, and I won't be aware of the billions of years that come after. You can't feel emotions once you're dead, after all.
I do need to update my will, but I tell anyone who will listen that I don't want a funeral. Once I kick the bucket, just forget me and get on with life, folks.

44 here and not particularly bothered about dying or not. I just hope it quick and pain free.

I was not ready for death at all until my Dad died very suddenly this year. He had no will and no funeral plans or wishes that we knew of.

I seem to ask people now what their wishes are for a finish resting place and if they’ve got a funeral sorted. It’s also very expensive.

It’s not until you go through organising someone else’s and finding somewhere for them that you realise the responsibility and regret of not finding out.

I am getting more scared of dying as I get older. I am 56. I need to make a will and do POA forms etc but keep putting it off. I am worried for my elderly dad if I died, he is 86. i worked in a hospice for 35 years and have seen that death can be really peaceful but that also sometimes symptoms just can't be controlled people can die non peaceful deaths despite staff's best intentions. I don't want a funeral although would agree to one if it made things easier for my family. I have always hated being the centre of attention, although I guess if I was dead that would not be a problem. Everyone of my deceased family members has died suddenly without warning and I hope I go this way although appreciate it may be harder on those left behind.

I just find it so strange that someone can be here & then they’re not. A dear family friend died of Covid when it was at its height & I still can’t really believe I’ll never see him again (unless there’s an afterlife, which I’m not sure of). He was a practising Christian so the family’s faith would help them, which comforts me.
My fear is losing my faculties before I die or being in a lot of pain, although I have chronic pain anyway. Cancer statistics terrify me as it used to be 1 in 4 of us will get it & now it’s 1 in 2. I quit drinking because if I’d carried on as I was, I would have ended up in an early grave. I don’t smoke & I have lost weight ( a way to go!). Exercise needs work! I struggle with anxiety/massively overthinking but am trying to deal with that as life is, as they say, too short.

Everything in order and chatting about this recently with a friend I realise that there is nothing that I will regret. No bucket list items left, I'm very lucky.

I don't fear death but hope it is peaceful. My children are adults, no grandchildren. They will remember me.

I am very content.