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Original poster

I'm so mortified by what this woman said to me, I don't want to go back to the gym.

633 replies

DeclansAFeckingDream · 03/08/2024 22:12

I'm so embarrassed. I have lost 4 stone in the last year by eating more healthily and I started going to the gym about 6 months ago in a bit to become more toned and generally feel better. I'm now a size 12 and happy enough with that. I'm 57 and I haven't found it easy.

I really enjoy the gym now and go about 4/5 times a week, on my own, and do my own thing. I feel great. This evening as I was just about to start using the rowing machine, a woman (who is super fit and absolutely stunning) approached me and said 'I don't mean to be rude, but those leggings do nothing for you because you can see your cellulite through them, you might be better with joggers'. She then went back to her equally stunning friend and they seemed to have a good old giggle.

I'm so mortified. My leggings are normally Sweaty Betty ones, not 'up the bum' ones and I wear a long tee shirt too. I felt quite good when I went in tonight and now I'm back to feeling like an overweight old bag and I never want to set foot in there again. I will though, I've worked hard to feel healthier - I just understand why anyone would say something like that. I daresay she can see my cellulite, but why bring someone down like that?

OP posts:
Xtraincome · 04/08/2024 09:16

So sorry, OP. Get back on the gym horse please as you're doing so so well.

Maybe relish the fact this visually attractive woman is grossly insecure and ugly in so many ways. My God, how insecure did you make her feel that she needed to say that to your face!

4 stone, OP!! COME ON, YOU'RE A F*CKING INSPIRATION!

greengreyblue · 04/08/2024 09:17

Absolutely no excuse for that op. Please don’t let it stop you enjoying your gym time. Perhaps if she’s nearby and you’re brave enough you could say “ I don’t mean to be rude but your attitude does nothing for you, I can see your shallow personality right through your comment, perhaps try keeping your mouth shut next time.’

TheCrenchinglyMcQuaffenBrothers · 04/08/2024 09:17

Wow, I am absolutely in awe of you! Four stone weight loss at 57 is stunning and a gym bunny too! Inspirational and makes me feel like a total loser. I wish I was you and had your drive and dedication. You are amazing! Xx

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Dashel · 04/08/2024 09:22

You have done amazingly to loose that much and to even step foot in a gym let alone be a regular!

You definitely need to say something as she might be making bitchy comments to others as well and they might not seek support or be able to brush it off.

Gyms aren’t just for the young and the six packed. I really hope you continue your journey and I hope that the gym speak seriously to her. It sounds like she needs to do the work on her inside.

Piglet89 · 04/08/2024 09:25

She’s pretty on the outside but will probably always be ugly inside.

jaimelesoleil · 04/08/2024 09:27

BellesAndGraces · 03/08/2024 22:17

Most gyms have a code of conduct that require members to be respectful and courteous to other members. Next time you see her, I would point her out to a member of staff and ask them to speak to her about harassing other members.

@DeclansAFeckingDream

^ THIS...you need to report her to the gym management.

PuggyPuggyPuggy · 04/08/2024 09:27

What a talented woman she is, being so spectacularly rude without meaning to.

kerstina · 04/08/2024 09:27

I am sorry but the woman who said such a bitchy comment to you is not stunning in any way and is the epitome of ugly . Pity the men that they are with too.

Ansjovis · 04/08/2024 09:28

I'm glad that you've received support here that has given you some perspective. This woman must be in a very bad place mentally to have decided to use her time to be so unkind. Please note I am not excusing her, far from it, just pointing out that people who are happy and healthy in all respects do not behave like this and so I think the best emotion to feel towards her is pity.

Please don't let this put you off. Your body has done and will do amazing things and is worthy of love and respect exactly as it is. Most people who are in a gym will get that, honestly.

darksideofthestudio · 04/08/2024 09:30

DeclansAFeckingDream · 03/08/2024 22:12

I'm so embarrassed. I have lost 4 stone in the last year by eating more healthily and I started going to the gym about 6 months ago in a bit to become more toned and generally feel better. I'm now a size 12 and happy enough with that. I'm 57 and I haven't found it easy.

I really enjoy the gym now and go about 4/5 times a week, on my own, and do my own thing. I feel great. This evening as I was just about to start using the rowing machine, a woman (who is super fit and absolutely stunning) approached me and said 'I don't mean to be rude, but those leggings do nothing for you because you can see your cellulite through them, you might be better with joggers'. She then went back to her equally stunning friend and they seemed to have a good old giggle.

I'm so mortified. My leggings are normally Sweaty Betty ones, not 'up the bum' ones and I wear a long tee shirt too. I felt quite good when I went in tonight and now I'm back to feeling like an overweight old bag and I never want to set foot in there again. I will though, I've worked hard to feel healthier - I just understand why anyone would say something like that. I daresay she can see my cellulite, but why bring someone down like that?

That is awful, and says so much about her! Don’t let her knock your confidence, you have done brilliantly and it’s a fabulous achievement 👏🏼 I would be so tempted to thank her for her advice, and say “not being rude, but I’m lucky I can change my body, increase my fitness, improve my health and feel so good that I don’t ever feel the need to tear other women down… but judging by your behaviour towards me, it looks like you’re stuck with your bitchy personality, I pity you” and never grace the woman with a second glance again!

Sammyk85 · 04/08/2024 09:32

OP you are amazing, and I’m sure look absolutely incredible! think of everything you have achieved a year ago and losing that 4 stone there’s not many people can say they’ve done that. (Myself included!)
please ignore this ridiculously immature self conscious girl (I say girl as she’s clearly nothing else) she’s obviously so insecure in herself she needs to make other people feel like shit.
she’ll get her karma one day! You keep being the amazing you that you are ❤️

WickedSerious · 04/08/2024 09:33

DeclansAFeckingDream · 04/08/2024 06:55

I also realise that as soon as someone says 'I don't mean to be rude' at the start of their sentence, rude is exactly what they mean to me.

Yes,it's like 'I hope you won't take this the wrong way'.

lljkk · 04/08/2024 09:33

I think you'd feel best if you actually said factually and unemotionally to that cellulite lady : I don't know why you said that to me, what does my cellulite have to do with you? Did you just want me to feel bad? Tell her why she had no good reason to say such a thing to you. That would be brave but would make you feel better than making a comment to management. Bluntly tell her she was wrong to say that.

The woman who complained about you filming was nuts, too. People don't own the space around themselves like that.

This whole image thing at gym is bizarre. Don't buy into it.

Yupppp · 04/08/2024 09:34

This woman has acute cellulite of the soul

DoorOpening · 04/08/2024 09:34

Well, fuck that.
Keep going OP.

Nannylovesshopping · 04/08/2024 09:35

It’s obvious to me, a quiet, short sharpe fuck off!

Maximusdecimus · 04/08/2024 09:35

I have seen numerous social media posts where people are banned from gyms for similar. If she is filming in the gym has she asked the consent of those around her to be included?

Report her to the management and if they don’t do anything post the gym on social media. If anything you may well get ‘gifted’ a membership for free elsewhere.

A huge amount of gyms are restyling themselves as inclusive, safe places to be. This woman isn’t making it inclusive so point that out.

Nannylovesshopping · 04/08/2024 09:36

Obviously not a sharpe, just sharp 👌

ohrwally · 04/08/2024 09:37

lljkk · 04/08/2024 09:33

I think you'd feel best if you actually said factually and unemotionally to that cellulite lady : I don't know why you said that to me, what does my cellulite have to do with you? Did you just want me to feel bad? Tell her why she had no good reason to say such a thing to you. That would be brave but would make you feel better than making a comment to management. Bluntly tell her she was wrong to say that.

The woman who complained about you filming was nuts, too. People don't own the space around themselves like that.

This whole image thing at gym is bizarre. Don't buy into it.

These words are a great response. I would have been so shocked that I don't think I could have conjured them up in that moment.

I can't believe someone would have the audacity to think these comment let alone approach and share them with the individual. I bet the horrid woman hasn't given this a second thought and here the OP is having spent a lot of time thinking about it.

Definitely pick it up with the gym. She can't get away with this. Or potentially do anything similar again to you other members.

readingismycardio · 04/08/2024 09:38

What a fucking bitch. OP, you rock! Pls keep going to the gym!

happinessischocolate · 04/08/2024 09:39

DeclansAFeckingDream · 04/08/2024 06:55

I also realise that as soon as someone says 'I don't mean to be rude' at the start of their sentence, rude is exactly what they mean to me.

If she speaks to you again just reply with "I don't mean to be rude but fuck off"

You're an inspiration to many off us, I'm the same age as you and do weights at home instead of using the gym, maybe I'll make an effort now.

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 04/08/2024 09:45

Congratulations on your great weight loss and your commitment to going to the gym (I can't manage either)! I hope the gym staff deal with this properly for you and this vile woman doesn't try to bully you again. I don't understand why anyone would behave that way, as my mother used to say: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all".
I'm glad you've found your anger and will keep going to the gym despite this.

Dentalflossie · 04/08/2024 09:48

Namechangeforthis88 · 03/08/2024 22:17

I'd rather be you than her.

Nailed it.
Me too.

mondaytosunday · 04/08/2024 09:48

Usually gym goers are really supportive. What a nasty woman.i would have said 'I'm comfortable as I am thank you. I come here to work out, not be on parade'.

ringmybe11 · 04/08/2024 09:50

This could have been me, I hate my legs they're all wobbly and Im sure you can see my cellulite if you were looking! I make the assumption that anyone offended by my appearance would just choose not to look and focus on their own life before passing any sort of judgement. We're not all built to look like supermodels, how disappointing another woman acted like this. I guess it shows how much importance she places on looks and how insecure she probably. Easy to say but I would do my best to just carry on, you could try different pants as I know some of mine are more or less flattering than others but if they're comfortable and you're happy with them I honestly wouldn't.