Found some disturbing news about family.

[familysnob]

Name changed so not to out myself.

My uncle came to visit us from where he lives. (About 4 hr drive)
We don't see his two adult children very often unless we go to visit them.
My parents insisted we all go to Uni and were very strong on right and wrong. We are a fairly close knit group. Mum and Dad have helped all of us get good stable careers and my brother and I have bought a house while my sister is in the Navy and travels.

I took uncle out to dinner with my partner. He was chatting about one of my cousins whose husband has just started his own business. He told us how he is requesting to be paid in cash and fiddling the tax man. He told us how this guy has large sums of cash in his house so as not to arouse suspicion.

I asked how do they pay their mortgage as all they have is cash. He said they have a council house. Which is another reason why he has to keep his earnings low. My cousin has a touch of anxiety but is exaggerating her illness (which got her the house with her two kids in the first place)
Both kids are asthmatic allegedly and she gets DLA for them which pays for her car. They know someone in a local community group who helps them
Complete the assessment forms to get mid to high rate.

I was stunned. He told us all this as if he was proud of it. Like it was an indication of how clever his daughter is. I changed the subject when I could and was quite quiet the rest of the meal. I felt ready disillusioned by him. I've always loved and looked up to this uncle because he moved to the city when I was young. I always thought he was cool and strong.

When we got home my partner said I acted like a snob. That I came from and entitled family background and I showed myself up.

Am I being a snob. My parents were not rich but they would have gone buck mad if I'd done have what this cousin has done. It's just wrong.

I think you were reasonable OP. Who wants to hear that their family members are criminals?

It's time to tell Uncle that you have a new job in the DSS Benefits Fraud Department or whatever its called nowadays. Just to watch him squirm.

So true, people just don't want to believe it.

You must live a very sheltered life if you find this disturbing 😅

You are right. Uncle is an idiot.

Report them to HMRC. This is wrong.

Exactly

Agreed

Uncle's either on a wind-up, or very thick.

Are you sure this is true? Anyone can live in a council house, its not means tested. I doubt DLA can be claimed for asthma, asthma is very common and generally well managed with inhalers which don't need any special training to administer.

"I asked how do they pay their mortgage as all they have is cash. He said they have a council house. Which is another reason why he has to keep his earnings low. "

Social housing is not means tested, you don't have to be on a low income to qualify for a council house. This is a red herring.

But yes, in every way this little branch of your family are low lives, scrounging off the benefits system and avoiding paying tax & NI. These are the types that give all benefit claimants a bad name.

I'd report them to HMRC and DWP.

I'm also unconvinced about getting DLA for asthma and lying on the forms. The assessments for this a brutal, no way would they get it just by saying on the form that they had asthma. I think your Uncle's a bit of a Billy liar, maybe he was trying to get a reaction out of you. In any event, benefit fraud is extremely low, I wouldn't help perpetuate the general stigma about disability benefits by spreading unverified stories around tbh.

He said they have a council house. Which is another reason why he has to keep his earnings low.

This is proper boswolloks. As a council house occupier, it can take an age to get one (it took me over 3 years after my daughter was born) and it doesn't matter how much you earn. Also DLA has pretty stringent rules.

Hi,

your partner should defo not imply you are a snob 😓 First because it isn’t kind and second because it has nothing to do with what you did ir felt I think.

To be proud of your upbeinging is not being snob.
To be desillusioned by you uncle once put on a pedestal isn’t snob
To disagree with lying isn’t snob.

These are your values. You should be proud of them. I understand you stayed quiet, must have been a shock. You partner jumped a little too easily on that one. Makes me wonder if he comes from a different background and how he feels about it…

Good luck 🌺

Of course you’re not being a snob. You’re not judging them for being on benefits or having a council house, just for using fraud and deceit to get them. What they’re doing is appalling - and I get disability benefit and live in a housing association flat (both of which I’m extremely grateful for) so I’m definitely not being a snob about it! I’m surprised at your partner’s reaction too - what were you supposed to do, high five your uncle when he told you about your cousin committing fraud?

No, you’re absolutely not being a snob. Your parents instilled strong moral values in you and whilst they supported you, they also taught you and your siblings to stand on your own two feet. I’d have had a hard time biting my tongue and would feel disappointed like you if I found out that a family member was acting in that way. It is absolutely wrong in my opinion, indifference and tolerance of this type of low level fraud is increasingly having an impact on the tax gap and funding of national resources

Some Councils definitely do have maximum income limits. My local council sets a household limit of between £44k and £66k (depending on the size of the property). Also if she applied for medical points to be added to her council house application then anxiety may have given her more points and bumped them up the list (depends on how their council allocates properties). It may not be lies at all in which case it is very unfair and I too would be unhappy given the number of people who are in more need of social housing.

Some local authorities have rules about income when applying. If the family income increases after allocation then the family aren't evicted. I think that's the difference.