Found some disturbing news about family.

[familysnob]

Name changed so not to out myself.

My uncle came to visit us from where he lives. (About 4 hr drive)
We don't see his two adult children very often unless we go to visit them.
My parents insisted we all go to Uni and were very strong on right and wrong. We are a fairly close knit group. Mum and Dad have helped all of us get good stable careers and my brother and I have bought a house while my sister is in the Navy and travels.

I took uncle out to dinner with my partner. He was chatting about one of my cousins whose husband has just started his own business. He told us how he is requesting to be paid in cash and fiddling the tax man. He told us how this guy has large sums of cash in his house so as not to arouse suspicion.

I asked how do they pay their mortgage as all they have is cash. He said they have a council house. Which is another reason why he has to keep his earnings low. My cousin has a touch of anxiety but is exaggerating her illness (which got her the house with her two kids in the first place)
Both kids are asthmatic allegedly and she gets DLA for them which pays for her car. They know someone in a local community group who helps them
Complete the assessment forms to get mid to high rate.

I was stunned. He told us all this as if he was proud of it. Like it was an indication of how clever his daughter is. I changed the subject when I could and was quite quiet the rest of the meal. I felt ready disillusioned by him. I've always loved and looked up to this uncle because he moved to the city when I was young. I always thought he was cool and strong.

When we got home my partner said I acted like a snob. That I came from and entitled family background and I showed myself up.

Am I being a snob. My parents were not rich but they would have gone buck mad if I'd done have what this cousin has done. It's just wrong.

Disgusting that you'd parrot Tommy Robinson rubbish about rubber boats. Like in my grandad's day bigots said 'they come over on banana boats for council houses and National Assistance'. Which was bollocks.

I agree. He's obviously making lot of this stuff up. He probably thinks it's impressive to have piles of cash around the house, and has built up this story to make his daughter look 'successful'.

It says a lot about the uncle, but nothing at all about his daughter because it's largely fabricated.

Your partner obviously doesn’t know the difference between snobbery and morality.

Your uncle sounds like Billy Bullshitter to me. I suspect he's making up half of what he told you. You don't need to 'keep earnings low' to live in a council house and you don't get DLA for kids with asthma unless they are, in fact, disabled. You also don't get given a house because you tell them you have anxiety. This is all utter bollocks.

I also think that 'disturbing news' is a very extreme way to describe a not-especially-close relative being a bit of a dick.

While I think your uncle sounds like a tedious bullshitting twat, and I probably wouldn't want to hang out with him unless I really had to, I think you're being a bit melodramatic about it all. Maybe that's what your partner meant? I mean, what does it actually matter to you, if an uncle/cousin has different values? It's not like you're being tainted by association.

@Chypre

Snobbery is refusing a drink because you only drink bio-dynamic and sulphate-free wine from Chateau de Tetrapak region

Oh. Is that what it is? I thought it was calling someone a chav because they have a second-hand car.

I’ve had a similar experience, talking to a family member I see very infrequently, who was boasting about various dodgy things they are involved with quite openly. It makes you wonder how non-existent their ethics must be if they don’t even try to be discreet about it!

Given that the above is total bollocks, I wouldn't believe much of the other stuff he said. You don't actually know anything concrete about these people at all. All you have is a load of hearsay, assumptions and exaggeration

Loads of that post is bollocks. I just can't be arsed to pull it to bits when it's an obvious goady thread.

While I think your uncle sounds like a tedious bullshitting twat, and I probably wouldn't want to hang out with him unless I really had to, I think you're being a bit melodramatic about it all.

This sums it up for me. If this actually happened, it was a non-event, and only a fool would believe what a bullshitter says anyway.

Tbh, the OP reads like it was written purely to cause a load of frothing and anger from the usual benefit bashing, Daily Mail reading crowd.

In addition to what has been said, it doesn’t matter how well you fill out a DLA form, you still need to have evidence and the DWP will sometimes check with the medical and educational professions that you list that your child is under. It’s not as straightforward as getting someone in the community group to get a particular rate. Anyone can go to somewhere like CAB for help filling in the forms but that’s not what decides how much, if any, a child receives.

This.

And I too would be disturbed to find out that a much-loved and respected uncle had no morals.

My mil and sil are similar.I don't have much to do with them.

Businesses have to submit accounts that are scrutinised by HMRC.

Cash is legal tender. It’s perfectly acceptable to pay people in cash. Tax should then be paid in the normal fashion - either PAYE for employees or independently for contractors.

If you uncle and / or brother in law are not paying tax properly, they will likely get found out. HMRC are perfectly capable of linking pay denoted as being paid out to an individual with a NI numbers and that same individual’s tax returns.

Oh what a world. Full of scammers, liars and racists who show up on any old thread then try to bend it to their view and complain when people object to them. Tender souls they are where their own feelings are concerned.

You dont need a low income to get or keep a council house.

How would anxiety get you get a council place?

Dla needs evidence and I doubt she gets high rate for asthma unless it's very severe.

I think your uncle is probably full of shit.

My parents insisted we all go to Uni and were very strong on right and wrong. We are a fairly close knit group. Mum and Dad have helped all of us get good stable careers and my brother and I have bought a house while my sister is in the Navy and travels.

This is the weird bit for me. You seem to be equating right and wrong with parental insistence you went to university. How did your parents 'help you get good stable careers'?

While I agree this sounds like a template for Benefit Scroungers Are Bad 101, it also sounds largely like horseshit on the uncle's part. I remember a relative of DH's claiming something similarly elaborate about another family member going to ridiculous lengths to pretend he'd separated from his wife, living in a caravan in the garden etc, in order to claim separate benefits or something, amid an atmosphere of 'Ha ha, he's too clever for the system'. The reality was far less interesting.

I'm not surprised by this at all. It may be the wrong thing to do, but it goes on all the time. All the time.

My friend used to work at TV Licensing, investigating reports sent in by folk about someone they knew not having a licence. You'd be amazed at the number of people who go down the pub boasting they are the big man who never pays for a licence, and their record shows they have paid on the dot every year since Nelson Mandela was in Borstal. Likewise most allegations about dodgy neighbours. Moral of the tale: there a lot of bullshit artists about, don't believe everything you hear.

They will not be getting DLA for children who "allegedly" have asthma.

You have to submit all kinds of medical paperwork and additional evidence.

It’s the fault of the Government allowing these people to make dubious claims so easily.

I’ve had asthma all my life, same as DS1. Never got DLA. You don’t need it unless you are hooked up to a machine day in day out to help you breath.

I know a 20yr old who gets DLA for anxiety and even she said it’s not bad. They just had to fill in a lot of forms and over exaggerate.

Her friend (aged 18) is entitled to a disability car (when she passes her driving test) as she suffers from anxiety and says she can’t catch the bus.
Travelling by bus is the only way she gets around at the moment. She could get a lift with her parents but she’s happy to take the bus.

DH army friend had his legs blown off in Afghanistan. Had his disability car taken off him until he could prove he was disabled. He’d already proven it once in order to get the car. He had a time limit and between getting his appointment letter and being able to make the appointment he wasn’t able to get 2 buses with no legs to get to the right office to prove he had no legs. Apparently no medical written or photographic proof was suitable. Some random in an office had to see his legs ended at the knee. Because he went to the local paper, his time limit was extended and the newspaper actually drove him to the office! Still had to wait another 2 months for the car

I have family members like this too. I choose not to see them, not just because of this, but because we just have nothing in common.

Just because someone's your uncle or cousin doesn't mean you have to be friends with them or see them socially.

I don't think you are a snob but your uncle was extremely indiscreet in talking about his daughter's private business in that way. Be glad he is not your dad. Try and put it behind you now, you are not involved.

Nobody knows a 20 year old who gets DLA for anxiety as DLA is now for children only and adults (16+) are transitioned to PIP.

You may know a 20 year old who gets PIP for anxiety. Many people with anxiety choose not to share the impact on their lives.

PIP has an initial telephone assessment, a 50 page form with 99 questions that need to be answered in detail and supported with medical evidence. They also ask for access to all your medical records. You then have a detailed telephone assessment or in person assessment with a healthcare practitioner whose job is to try to work out of your area lying.

I submitted over 100 pages of medical evidence for mine.

@SeeSeeRider hmmm… I thought “chav” would be someone driving brand new out of salon range rover on finance?… style (or lack of) over substance and all that.